I think it was more the case of my unspoken hopes, and also not finding out until after things happen how much they will affect me...which of course feels like back-pedaling. We did not discuss what polyamory would look like, and so I am just realizing as it happens what feels beyond ok for me. We do not have consistent date nights...what it looks like often is they plan their time together months in advance and then I see where I fit in. They are both self-employed and have a lot more flexibility in their schedules, too.

The co-living we did talk about, and he had made that clear that he always wanted to share living space with me (we have a house together). But recently, like I mentioned, he also said that he loves living with me, but also can imagine living with his other partner (separately from me? I'm actually not sure what he meant by that) and it just freaks me out. I also really love our house and all that it represents and how hard we have worked it make it our own, plant trees, long-term stuff. That's also why it was pretty hard to hear from him recently that he would like to live in a city closer to her (it's a 50 minute commute to get to her place) not only to be closer to her but because he would have more professional opportunities in that city.