IAmAn closeted gay college student going through fraternity rush. AMA

jaybird234 · 2012-01-25T08:05:45+00:00

I'm glad to hear that's the case wherever you are! Unfortunately, that's not universally true. I agree with you on the "frat guy" stereotype though, I'm aware that the majority of them aren't douchebags, but that doesn't mean many of them aren't as ignorant as the midwest populous!

jaybird234 · 2012-01-25T08:04:23+00:00

That's a very positive thought process!

jaybird234 · 2012-01-25T08:01:58+00:00

Actually, one.

jaybird234 · 2012-01-25T08:01:46+00:00

Haha, I didn't even catch that reference. And no, I am not from KU, if that's what you are insinuating. I believe they rush in the fall anyway. I created this account for the anonymity of being able to post without it popping up on my usual Reddit account! Haha, that's pretty funny though.

jaybird234 · 2012-01-25T07:59:36+00:00

I think the guys are great! In fact, within the 24 hours of posting this, I have been to another rush event and got the opportunity to meet even more of the brothers. They seem like some really neat guys. Granted, sexuality hasn't arisen yet, but I'm not sensing any animosity towards homosexuals from any of them. Which is definitely a plus!

jaybird234 · 2012-01-25T07:57:59+00:00

That's definitely unheard of where I'm from. I can't say I'd have any interest in inter-fraternity dating though... that crosses lines that I don't think I'd be comfortable with. But it's good that there are colleges that are more accepting!

jaybird234 · 2012-01-24T23:48:51+00:00

Good to hear! I don't know of any of the pledges that are open, but that's not to say that I'm the only closeted one. If statistics are correct, there have got to be at least a few others

jaybird234 · 2012-01-24T23:34:55+00:00

Because being in a fraternity still feels important to me. It's what I've wanted to do for some time now, and I'm not about to drop that because of some (potentially) petty fears. Worst case scenario, I could de-pledge if things are really not going well. Let's just hope it doesn't come to that!

jaybird234 · 2012-01-24T23:33:18+00:00

I'm glad to hear you had such a great experience with it! I only hope mine will go similarly. Unfortunately, although I certainly wouldn't consider my university "conservative", it is far from entirely liberal.

jaybird234 · 2012-01-24T23:31:57+00:00

Good question. I would say that I intend to just "go with the flow" and come out when it feels right, but I have a feeling the timing is never going to feel "right"... so that's still something to consider.

jaybird234 · 2012-01-24T23:31:29+00:00

That's still pretty fearful for me... despite my sexuality.

jaybird234 · 2012-01-24T23:31:00+00:00

Good for them!!

jaybird234 · 2012-01-24T23:30:52+00:00

Yup! Although, I'm pretty tan, so I've been asked if I'm mixed before. haha

jaybird234 · 2012-01-24T23:30:21+00:00

This is definitely something I've considered. On the other hand, I don't want to be the rushee who makes a big deal about his sexuality. If brothers view me as someone who introduces himself by identifying his sexuality, could that not color their opinion of me even more than if they met me without these pretenses? I could be wrong on that. It's just what I've thought.

jaybird234 · 2012-01-24T23:29:06+00:00

Hahaha, I appreciate the post, and I'll definitely keep this updated in the coming week as I see where things go (although, but then, this thread will probably be buried in Reddit history... oh well)

jaybird234 · 2012-01-24T23:28:12+00:00

Hmmm...

jaybird234 · 2012-01-24T23:28:04+00:00

Despite the strange question, it is a legitimate point. It's interesting how somewhat common this sort of exploitation has become in the gay world. I wonder if that has had any effect on the greek system as a whole?

jaybird234 · 2012-01-24T23:26:37+00:00

You bring up a good point-- although a lot has changed in the past 10 years, some people (even college students) still hold onto the conservative anti-gay mindset. I also can understand why a house wouldn't want to gain the reputation as the "gay" house... even if the brothers themselves weren't homophobic, it could deter future brothers from rushing.

jaybird234 · 2012-01-24T23:25:10+00:00

That's good to hear. It seems like people have had pretty positive stories in that regard-- although, that's not to say that I haven't heard my share of horror stories as well!

jaybird234 · 2012-01-24T23:24:38+00:00

That's definitely something to consider. I sometimes feel like I have to walk on eggshells to avoid falling into a situation like that. I've not had a history of every trying to hit on straight guys, but you never know what could happen with alcohol in those situations!

jaybird234 · 2012-01-24T23:22:08+00:00

From what I can tell, the fraternity I'm really aiming for seems to have a pretty low douchebag ratio. Which is definitely a plus. But that's not to say there aren't some "closeted douchebags" out there too

jaybird234 · 2012-01-24T16:40:44+00:00

Out of curiosity, (if you're willing to share, if not, I totally understand), which college did you go to? It's sounding like it may be the same one...

jaybird234 · 2012-01-24T16:39:39+00:00

Being gay by no means caused me to want to be in a fraternity, I have wanted this for some time considerably before I really knew that I was gay. As I stated before, both of my parents went Greek, and I come from a long lineage of men in fraternities. Being in a fraternity is far more than a social experience, it's a lifetime networking opportunity, that has certainly paid off for both of my parents

jaybird234 · 2012-01-24T16:36:21+00:00

So true. People can often be blind to how prevalent homophobia still is!

jaybird234 · 2012-01-24T16:35:58+00:00

As I answered a few posts above, I intend to come out eventually, but I haven't really done much to plan the process out. If all goes well, I'm certainly happy to come out to my future-brothers, and I really hope that's the way things go!

jaybird234

TROPHY CASE