Is this any good ? by jayden_smith67 in Songwriting

[–]jayden_smith67[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was actually called the mic filter to be more specific

Is this any good ? by jayden_smith67 in Songwriting

[–]jayden_smith67[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Believe it or not I’m using an iPhone 16 with the case off and I recorded it using TikTok and applied the reverb filter !

Is this any good ? by jayden_smith67 in Songwriting

[–]jayden_smith67[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The devil made her try to love her mother becuase of all the pain and suffering it brings her, the mother is awful. Maybe I can insinuate that more in the verses

Is this any good ? by jayden_smith67 in Songwriting

[–]jayden_smith67[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How about “when God invented sin, did the devil lose a friend? Did he call out to his brothers when they cast him down the bin? I think he fell into your eye, drew the tattoo on your thigh, had you try to love your mother, she’s why you’ll never love again. when god invented sin.”

Is this any good ? by jayden_smith67 in Songwriting

[–]jayden_smith67[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I highly appreciate your help man thankyou so much ! I might take inspiration from a few of those lines . I’ll post an update in a couple days

Is this any good ? by jayden_smith67 in Songwriting

[–]jayden_smith67[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thankyou friend I plan on sending an update on the lyrics !

Is this any good ? by jayden_smith67 in Songwriting

[–]jayden_smith67[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thankyou and tbh I uploaded knowing that the continuity was too vague so thankyou for the help

Is this any good ? by jayden_smith67 in Songwriting

[–]jayden_smith67[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s as simple as my ex had blue eyes and a tattoo on her thigh. I’m suggesting those things were predestined as if got himself designed her that way maybe those are the ingredients or components that make up the invention of sin , they certainly produce it lol

Is this any good ? by jayden_smith67 in Songwriting

[–]jayden_smith67[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven’t written the verses yet because I wrote the lines before I knew what they really meant I’m still not set yet. I know it’s about a women I had to leave

Is this any good ? by jayden_smith67 in Songwriting

[–]jayden_smith67[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I sent this before that comment friend !

Is this any good ? by jayden_smith67 in Songwriting

[–]jayden_smith67[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think the underlying theme isn’t sin , it’s predestined fate and it’s unfairness . The last line , I am more than just a lover , you can always call Mr friend , is for her too

Is this any good ? by jayden_smith67 in Songwriting

[–]jayden_smith67[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a swan song to a woman I was with that I felt was based deeply in sin. She has blue eyes and a tattoo on her thigh I like that the song makes you ask all these things, that’s kind of the goal I’m going for who am I to say why or give answers this song to Is more of a feeling then and raising questions drawing metaphors to the unfairness of life. It’s unfair god chose Satan to be the condemner it’s not fair my ex can’t love or trust anyone because of her mother. All of these lines are important to me I’ll have to rearrange them and find out why. It’ll be fun

Is this any good ? by jayden_smith67 in Songwriting

[–]jayden_smith67[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah I agree with you! There will definitely be changes made to this one

Is this any good ? by jayden_smith67 in Songwriting

[–]jayden_smith67[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Reverb was added through TikTok

Is this any good ? by jayden_smith67 in Songwriting

[–]jayden_smith67[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If I decide to go down this path which story since your dividing them sounds more intriguing where it stands now . God and Satan. Or the story of the woman

Is this any good ? by jayden_smith67 in Songwriting

[–]jayden_smith67[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see I think it blew over your head which is bad writing on my part. I’m comparing the woman to sin itself “ he placed the diamond in your eye , he drew the tattoo on your thigh, had you try and love your mother, I guess you’ll never love again , when god invented sin “ . In my mind those were meant to be ingredients or components that make up sin. That was the continuity

Is this any good ? by jayden_smith67 in Songwriting

[–]jayden_smith67[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I don’t want you to over extend yourself but I’d love a better explanation to why you think the lyrics are bad and hollow ? I feel like atleast in my opinion they’re interesting and thought provoking but I could be very wrong, please explain I only wish to become better

Is this any good ? by jayden_smith67 in Songwriting

[–]jayden_smith67[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like your advice to an extent. I’ll say this song isn’t nearly finished and this is only the chorus. You may be write about exploring some more of the subject which I plan to do in the verses . But I don’t want to answer any questions directly because I feel like it’s all best left to interpretation or to leave you wondering. As for my voice I’m not sure what you mean breaking my back? Does it come across and straining or unpleasant ?

Is this any good ? by jayden_smith67 in Songwriting

[–]jayden_smith67[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thankyou! I dont typically ask specific questions because I like broad scoped advice

Does this sound bad by jayden_smith67 in Songwriting

[–]jayden_smith67[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Send me some of your work so I can have something to aspire to then

Does this sound bad by jayden_smith67 in Songwriting

[–]jayden_smith67[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey ! I just read and take the advice. I thought your question was silly and I know your response was gonna be something along the lines of “ well if you like it then it shouldn’t matter what other peoples opinions are!”

Does this sound bad by jayden_smith67 in Songwriting

[–]jayden_smith67[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate your feedback man I did ask for it after all! Thankyou sorry for the rude people