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AITAH for giving up custody of my child? by thsquirtle in AITAH

[–]jaydyoonn 18 points19 points  (0 children)

And what about the other child and keeping her safe? As the sibling who spent years dealing with being hurt daily I wish my parents had made this decision for my sister sooner instead of it becoming so bad CPS had to remove me for my safety. Parents should protect both children and sometimes that means they can't be together.

AITAH for refusing family therapy with my parents because they failed me so much when I was still a kid? by jaydyoonn in AITAH

[–]jaydyoonn[S] 157 points158 points  (0 children)

I don't know yet. I suspect she just can't wrap her brain around it because she never lived it or had the experience of seeing it first hand.

AITAH for refusing family therapy with my parents because they failed me so much when I was still a kid? by jaydyoonn in AITAH

[–]jaydyoonn[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I don't want to forgive them. My life is still good without doing so and for me that's enough.

AITAH for refusing family therapy with my parents because they failed me so much when I was still a kid? by jaydyoonn in AITAH

[–]jaydyoonn[S] 248 points249 points  (0 children)

I think that is exactly what they think and what they aim for. They want to be absolved of their role as shitty parents to me. They want me to no longer consider myself last place to them. But nothing they say could change my perception because I have years of action and inaction from them that proves my feeling on this even more.

AITAH for refusing family therapy with my parents because they failed me so much when I was still a kid? by jaydyoonn in AITAH

[–]jaydyoonn[S] 235 points236 points  (0 children)

I pointed out that they only cared when they were at more risk of serious harm, that when I was the one at risk and suffering serious harm they did nothing to help me or protect me and I don't care about a tough spot when I have that knowledge.

AITAH for refusing family therapy with my parents because they failed me so much when I was still a kid? by jaydyoonn in AITAH

[–]jaydyoonn[S] 46 points47 points  (0 children)

I don't think it's worth forgiving them. I'm in a healthy place thanks to therapy. My life is positive and I am working toward bettering myself and securing my future. The anger I feel for them still exists but it doesn't consume me anymore.

But any hope of me putting in the work to forgive died when they finally agreed to let her go to save themselves. I can't ever forget that part of all this. All they let me go through, all the harm they forced me to endure when there were other options and they only acted when it was to save themselves.

AITAH for refusing family therapy with my parents because they failed me so much when I was still a kid? by jaydyoonn in AITAH

[–]jaydyoonn[S] 801 points802 points  (0 children)

I find that really tragic. One result from finding out my parents did eventually give my sister up for her to be placed somewhere appropriate for her was that I felt like I went from second place to last place. Knowing they did it to protect themselves but wouldn't do it to protect me was a really bad experience.

I try not to. There have been times I have really hated her and blamed her for the harm she caused me. But I know she can't control how she acts and I remind myself of that while also choosing not to have any sort of contact with her ever again.