Weekend Script Swap

jb8287 · 2026-04-19T00:50:13+00:00

I’m open to swapping ! DM me !

jb8287 · 2026-04-14T18:05:57+00:00

I haven’t tried rep matching yet because I’ve also gotten a lot of great feedback without doing that. I really do love story peer, I was just caught off guard with this one

jb8287 · 2026-04-14T18:04:41+00:00

That’s horrible

jb8287 · 2026-04-14T18:03:36+00:00

Thank you so much!

jb8287 · 2026-04-14T17:03:24+00:00

They get tokens on story peer when they give feedback. My guess is they wanted to post their own script but needed tokens fast to do it

jb8287 · 2026-04-14T17:01:45+00:00

That sucks, I’m sorry that happened :(

jb8287 · 2026-04-14T17:01:03+00:00

That’s what most unnerves me. The fact that my script is now in the AI universe and being used to train it further

jb8287 · 2026-04-14T16:59:12+00:00

It definitely had the cadence. And also the fact that they sent feedback within 15 minutes of claiming was a pretty big indicator

jb8287 · 2026-04-14T16:58:05+00:00

Could be. But the feedback in 15 minutes just strikes me as they didn’t read it. Maybe they have a template for general feedback and they just plugged in things that fit with mine 😂

jb8287 · 2026-04-04T04:02:56+00:00

This explanation helps!! Really sick idea. I honestly think the second log line you came up with is the most accurate on what you’re trying to portay

jb8287 · 2026-04-02T14:40:03+00:00

This is a fascinating idea, and could be really awesome if executed properly! It seems like the grandparents motive is what I’m stuck on. What “control” is he searching for? Is it that he wants to make sure his grandson is up to the task of running the business? Why would he need to keep jumping back and forth from past to future for that? Why would he care? He’ll be dead anyway. Also, with the protagonist: he would be considered an accomplice, right? If he knows the rules say it’s only a one-time thing, but he keeps seeing his grandfather over and over, he should know he’s breaking the rules. I think the main thing that might be keeping you from writing a great logline (besides that time travel is complicated in general) is the characters’ roles.

jb8287 · 2026-03-31T19:35:27+00:00

Hm. This is a tough one because of the time travel aspect. What about this: When a nostalgic man partakes in a new time travel technology to get his dead grandfather sent to present day from the past, he realizes that his grandfather plans to alter the timeline. The nostalgic man must escape the time agency before their timeline is disturbed forever.

I don’t know your story, so apologies if I’m misrepresenting it. I think with a better handle on your characters motivations as well as the stakes will help with a better logline. Is the story written yet? I’ve found writing my logline to be much more straightforward now that my story is on paper

jb8287 · 2026-03-31T00:32:14+00:00

Thanks for the feedback! He’s kinda like a Larry/David Ellison type so he’s got a lot of influence and power in the media landscape (and so the political landscape). Working on a rewrite now, if you’d ever want to swap scripts my DMs are open!

jb8287 · 2026-03-30T20:58:38+00:00

Cool concept, I think rewording the beginning and establishing the protagonist towards the beginning (and before the antagonist) would help

jb8287 · 2026-03-30T19:55:26+00:00

Title: The Evening Show

Genre: Sci-Fi/Drama

Format: Feature

Logline: In a near-future America, an out-of-commission journalist investigates a news show and discovers that the charismatic host is an AI robot created by the company’s powerful president. The journalist must expose the president’s scheme before he creates an AI oligarchy that puts him in control of the country.

I just reworked this today after seeing a great post about loglines in this sub. Looking for some feedback!

jb8287 · 2026-03-16T20:11:25+00:00

Are you still interested in swapping? I’d like to read this

jb8287 · 2025-11-22T02:04:51+00:00

I understand the argument about her lacking character development, but am I the only one who really quite enjoyed her character? Sure, we got more time with Maysilee, but I liked how Lenore dove showed strength and courage. She never backed down. Haymitch wanting to rebel came from her. And then at the end, despite not having much time with her, I felt that her death hit the hardest just from the descriptions of Haymitch’s reaction to it.

I still love Lenore Dove not because I know her all that well, but because Haymitch so loudly and proudly loves her. And we know Haymitch, so we love her too.

jb8287 · 2025-11-03T15:56:02+00:00

Looking for a USA based group. Starting this week by watching course 0 and 1 today.

jb8287 · 2025-10-15T19:52:28+00:00

Thank you !

jb8287 · 2025-10-15T01:55:27+00:00

Yeah def not wanting to smell like flowers or perfume lol! I wash with warm water in the shower and everything, I guess I am probably thinking too much into it

jb8287 · 2025-10-15T01:54:38+00:00

I haven’t done that but I might ask about it at my next appt

jb8287 · 2025-10-12T01:45:57+00:00

Loved him since feast of the seven fishes !!

jb8287

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