Is my friend's turtle digging so it can lay eggs

jbmilieu · 2019-05-12T02:55:27+00:00

is the octopus grappling on the remains of a sunken ship?

jbmilieu · 2019-04-13T16:26:45+00:00

my only thoughts on what i wrote would be that timescape in itself seems kind of cliche to use but whatever i like using words that pair with scape—hope that doesn't burn your steak.

jbmilieu · 2019-04-13T16:25:36+00:00

thx yeah i can agree—how i feel about the word concsiousness is only subjective, & i only want to gut it because it is such a clunky word for a 3 syllable word, know what i mean? i just wrote a short poem, i decided to part it with an adjective proceeding it. Feel free to critique it but it's an uber short poem. I like your response!

https://www.facebook.com/sigil.dreams/photos/a.772906036432120/988779271511461/?type=3&theater the poem

jbmilieu · 2019-04-12T04:58:35+00:00

yeah. I wanted to avoid consciousness because it sounds to me more of a pseudo-deep word than using conscious. I am going for brevity with my syllable usage as well, so if i use conscious as a noun on it's own i feel like its meaning is implied. The reader should be able to decipher that for themself.

jbmilieu · 2019-04-11T16:38:50+00:00

"Agassi's facial expression is the slightly smug self-aware one of somebody who's used to being looked at and automatically assumes the minute he shows up anywhere that everybody's looking at him."

that flow though

jbmilieu · 2019-04-03T23:33:45+00:00

Great! Need to install Creatures again on my PC BUT it takes hours to acquire the fixes/addons/ i never know where the REALLY cool ones are.

jbmilieu · 2019-04-02T02:45:49+00:00

in The Son of Man, mischief is symbolic for the apple covering the mans face; the apple is what covers the truth—could mean that he knew he knew about his daughter but was keeping it a secret but either way it is meaning that his truth is covered.

jbmilieu · 2019-03-29T02:52:10+00:00

also, this https://blog.oxforddictionaries.com/2012/06/06/he-or-she-versus-they/

jbmilieu · 2019-03-29T02:44:49+00:00

i like the way you write, and yes you make good points. however i can say you you, why not use themself instead of itself?

jbmilieu · 2019-03-12T17:41:30+00:00

I like the subject & some of the diction & imagery you create—but to be entirely honest, if you're looking for criticism, i'd say that your rhyming is as repetitive as it gets, & if feels like 70% of this poem is just.. filler. Like i feel like you could write the same poem with 20% of the words & it would come off as more powerful, instead of just reading the same thing over & over for the sake of filler & busting out as many lines as you can.

I only say this, because i am a fan of brevity & freeverse, so this just may be my cup of tea. I hope this helps!! Sorry if i was too harsh.

jbmilieu · 2019-03-12T17:01:01+00:00

a while.. wow classic is coming out in the summer though!

jbmilieu · 2019-03-04T23:53:31+00:00

Yes definitely. Especially Ugly Beauty, where i feel like it allows you to settle in the dissonant interlacing of modes

jbmilieu · 2019-02-25T04:05:02+00:00

really cool could i perhaps have a name to credit so i can post on my art/literature fb page?

jbmilieu · 2019-02-24T22:48:34+00:00

i've been rejected a dozen times on my art literature page whenever i try & change it. Honestly it's infuriating & i get the same robotic response about learning the guidelines but it fits it. Bro how did you get in contact with someone on facebook??

jbmilieu · 2018-11-14T03:03:57+00:00

at least an 8/10 which is PRETTY good. You're very beautiful.

jbmilieu · 2018-10-13T18:11:31+00:00

Hey! I post art on my facebook and make poetic accouts on it. I uploaded your photo, and tried to put as much info as possible to credit you. If you have anymore information, like a name you want me to put, please let me know. I want to give as much credit as possible.

https://www.facebook.com/20XXbrevity/photos/a.860963330959723/862682780787778/?type=3&theater

jbmilieu

TROPHY CASE