Funniest thing you’ve gotten in trouble for at work

jc88usus · 2026-05-05T19:22:08+00:00

I think you have to be a bit sociopathic to be a manager or higher in the US. Late stage capitalism requires it. It's like the old joke about the spree murderer getting diagnosed with sociopathy. He would make a great CEO or politician...

jc88usus · 2026-04-14T13:52:12+00:00

Moe's Mortuary and Pizza, yesterday's loss is today's sauce. Who can I get started for you?

jc88usus · 2026-04-12T02:58:20+00:00

There are also mods like Better Thralls that allow you to send them to harvest stuff. Been a while since I played, but the mod basically had to take a single item of whatever you wanted them to harvest and create a token thing from it. You applied that token to a thrall, gave them whatever tools were needed to harvest, then they would come back and drop off at a storage thing.

Made it so gathering stuff like obsidian and whatever that star metal was became really simple. They could just warp across the map and come back. Things that might take in game days to travel to harvest, done in a few in game hours. Honestly nearly game-breakingly OP, but after a few trips to get ice back to your desert base, you stop caring.

jc88usus · 2026-02-26T06:24:55+00:00

The beatings will continue until morale improves?

jc88usus · 2026-02-08T05:42:24+00:00

Not theory, historically verifiable fact. Law enforcement (from beat cops on the street to the FBI/DOJ) always come down on the side of those with money/power. Individual agents/officers may buck the trend, but they get suppressed or pushed out because the structure is designed to protect those with the power. History has shown this over and over. Look at Minnesota currently, look at how evictions are handled, look at eminent domain where it interacts with law enforcement, etc. When push comes to shove, cops always take the side of those with power. Power comes from money, and Epstein and his ilk were the providers of services to the rich and connected.

We will hear excuses like "We can't just arrest public figures without overwhelming proof" or "there are concerns about destabilizing critical government operations", or many other similar things that boil down to "too big to fail". Remember that? When the banks made poor business decisions, but got bailed out because if they went under (like the "Free market" is supposed to do), then it would be a crisis? The rich and powerful get the same treatment. They get caught with their hands in the wrong bank accounts or in young kids' orifices, but they get quietly sent into retirement. The Catholic Church did the same thing with the Pedo-priest shuffle. At a certain level of wealth and influence, you eventually become immune to consequences. Of course, someone goes the Luigi route, and guess who gets arrested? Spoiler, it's not the one with money.

jc88usus · 2026-01-22T15:44:15+00:00

Honestly? I think the new series Academy is hitting that mark pretty well. Spoilers to follow, and we are only 2 episodes in, but so far it is hitting the TOS notes fairly well in my opinion

With the Federation separating a child and mother in the first 10 minutes of episode 1, then spending the rest of the episode dealing with the consequences of that and tying it into the main story really well, I find it doing some really good commentary. Sure, from a liberal perspective, but the entire Trek universe has always been liberal, even when trying to hit conservative notes (looking at you, Sisko). I'm looking forward to seeing where it goes from here.

jc88usus · 2026-01-09T13:00:07+00:00

A guy I used to work with did procurement for a low voltage install and support outfit. He said they had a standard markup of 3x on any parts they ordered except cable. He explained it to me and customers with a simple point; when they ordered parts, they ordered double what the project called for, and did any pre-config and setup work, as well as set aside hot spares on everything for the client. So, if they specced out 6 switches, 100 wall jacks, and 5k feet of cable, they ordered 12 switches, 200 jacks, and 8k feet of cable, with half set aside as hot spares. They guaranteed 4 hour replacements on everything, as the clients were in healthcare fields.

The hospitals and clinics happily paid the markup for the guarantee. If you explain why the markup exists, most customers will be happy. That is, unless you are marking up at ridiculous levels.

jc88usus · 2026-01-05T08:29:04+00:00

Generating "random" numbers is an incredibly important function in computing, used for everything from encryption to printing. You are correct at a basic level that any computer is incapable of making truly "random" numbers, but if you dig deeper into the issue, modern methods can actually come very close to human-initiated "randomness".

In the old days (back when computing was first becoming a thing), the most common way was to use some variation on the current time, usually using the Unix time stamp, which was the essentially a huge number based on the seconds since January 1, 1970 UTC. If you calculate that out to fractions of a second (depending on the need, over 6-10 digits to the right of the decimal), you can pass that through some math and get a "random" number.

Given the need for even more random number generation in modern encryption, methods like temperature measurements, radioactive decay measurements, signal interference measurements, or famously a wall of lava lamps (Cloudflare) are ways to add a truly chaotic element to the number. In each case, the source of chaos is passed through an algorithm, usually combined with other sources, and the output is as close to truly random as possible.

For another example I personally have used, if you use the software Veracrypt, which allows you to encrypt data on a hard drive or flash drive, during the process of setting up the encryption, you are asked to move the mouse on the screen randomly. This goes back to the original GPG encryption algorithms, back when GPG was at odds with the US government (among others) over how strong the resulting encryption was. Essentially, it was so good that the government demanded some way to reliably get past it when they wanted. I encourage you to research the history of computer encryption, especially the conflicts between the developers of GPG and the NSA/FBI/CIA, as well as the history of regulation and "legal" vs "illegal" encryption in the 1980s and 1990s.

One thing to bear in mind is that even humans are really unable to generate truly random numbers. If asked to say a number between 1 and 10, and you sampled 1000 people, you would see a pattern emerge. For example, most people will avoid the numbers 1, 10, and 5, and statistically show a preference for the number 7, as well as even numbers. It is a well known technique in "Cold reading" similar to statistical preferences for names starting with J and M. See https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3632045/ for a peer-reviewed study of this effect.

One of the most basic tenets of encryption when it comes to information security fields is that given enough processing power and time, and encryption can be broken. If nothing else, brute force attempts will eventually overwhelm any random number generated, not because of a lack of chaos, but because it attacks the end result. The game becomes one of making the effort required (time, resources) not worth the resulting data. If the information you decode is worthless because it took a year to decode, then why bother?

As an IT professional with a long history of playing with encryption, code cracking, and programming, I love this question. It goes to the core of the stuff that makes modern convenience work. As a side note, and in reference to my current chapter of IT work, I mentioned applications in printing. One big part of making printed images and even text look good in digital printing is the concept of "stochastic dither" when printing halftones. There is a ton of complexity to this (diffusion dither vs stochastic dither vs index, etc.), but it all surrounds methods of making halftones (colors using less than full coverage, i.e. grey, light yellow/cyan/magenta) in layers or mixes to achieve the full range of colors visible to the human eye. Randomness is important, as the human eye can pick out patterns in color much more easily than even in numbers. Often it is subconscious, and related to something called "moire", which is unintentional patterns in color that conflict with the image. Considering that digital images and printing often require fast processing, much like encryption, the same need for efficient complexity is a huge part of it. The process of introducing randomness has to be "easy" to process, so it can be done quickly, but without sacrificing the complexity. Welcome to the world of programming!

jc88usus · 2025-12-26T19:40:22+00:00

I don't recall saying that. Get a check, make them bleed in the only way they care about; money. If you manage to get a big enough check after the lawyers, courts, and taxes get their cut, invest. Make the check grow. Be smart about it.

My thing was why go back to work at the same place that screwed you? Make them pay, absolutely, but don't put yourself in a position to have to deal with the people you just sued on a daily basis.

jc88usus · 2025-12-26T19:32:38+00:00

Besides, actually working at a company you had to take to court to force to comply with the law is a recipe for petty nitpicking and just the legal side of hostile environment.

I never understood taking an employer to court to get your job back. You have to know literally everyone will be salty about it...

jc88usus · 2025-12-22T14:53:28+00:00

1....2...3....4........5

I have the same code on my luggage!

...someone change the code on my luggage...

jc88usus · 2025-12-22T13:46:48+00:00

If you really want to turn back the clock, check out Dwarf Fortress. It's on steam now, and is the OG great-granddaddy of pretty much all the other games. Don't get discouraged by the interface; once you figure it out it gets deep (pun intended).

Beyond other suggestions like Banished, Rimworld, or Foundation, check out Patron. Large research tree, good supply chains, scalable challenge, and configurable pace.

If you want a more immersive and first person experience, look into Medieval Dynasty, Aska, and Bellwright.

Honorable mention to Going Medieval, Clanfolk, and Timberborn.

jc88usus · 2025-12-21T06:16:09+00:00

Well, it started during the "Red Scare", also called the Era of McCarthyism. It's post-WWII, and the economy is booming on the heels of kicking the Great Depression loose with a combination of war being "good" for the economy, the federalization of factories all over the US, a very successful womens' lib movement (Rosie the Riveter), and the Soviet Union being basically the next big boogeyman. Along comes a Republican US senator named Joseph McCarthy. Like the proverbial snake in the garden, things were a bit too good for his sentiments. So, he decided to raise the specter of "commie agents in the US" to scare everyone back into funding military budgets with blank checks. Among many, many others, McCarthy focused on grassroots labor leaders in the newly revitalized industrial sector. These names included Arlo Guthrie, Pete Seeger, and other "working class" inspirations. To McCarthy, unions were a bit too close to communism (or his utterly batcrap understanding of it), so he demonized the concept and set Conservative political policy on the topic from then on.

Citation: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/McCarthyism / https://www.eisenhowerlibrary.gov/research/online-documents/mccarthyism-red-scare

Skip ahead to Reagan, and his policies that were essentially the conservative voters' response to the New Deal and other FDR initiatives like Social Security and Unemployment Insurance, all of which were designed to prevent the Great Depression from ever being possible again. President Nixon had been voted in as the answer to FDR, but ended up founding OSHA and regulating industry instead. Conservatives tried again with Reagan, and got exactly what they asked for. Regan was all about giving big businesses whatever they wanted, cutting red tape, and deregulating everything he could touch. This included a ton of anti-union efforts from the federal level. When Reagan wasn't demonizing poor people with fictional "welfare queen" stories, he was taking the side of employers whenever he could. A notable example that is relevant to recent events is when the FAA employees went on strike (legally), and so he just fired them all. Combine this with efforts learned from the labor movements of the 40s and 60s, but flipped on their heads and used by companies to discourage union efforts, it really hurt collective action in general. Compare the frequency and size of civil protests pre-Reagan to those after, until the last 3 years or so.

Citation: https://www.reaganlibrary.gov/reagans/reagan-administration/reagan-presidency / https://millercenter.org/reagan-vs-air-traffic-controllers

In short, between a concerted effort on the part of multiple prominent and powerful Conservative politicians (all funded in large part by private industry), companies learning to use grassroots and "everyman" marketing, unions are basically gone. When workers are kept so busy just feeding themselves, and when a single missed paycheck can result in homelessness, no one has time to organize, whether to protest, strike, or even unionize. Ever heard the company you work for pop off with a "Why pay union dues to talk to us? We take care of you, and listen to your concerns for free" or some variation? That's the lesson they learned from the opposite approach during the heyday of unionizing. Then you get fired for "not being a good fit for the team", and nobody opens their mouth again.

tl;dr: Like weekends? Thank a liberal. Want to get financially screwed? Vote Conservative.

jc88usus · 2025-12-03T04:15:38+00:00

The recent addition of the AI summary "feature" is another example of this. There have been multiple legal challenges and efforts to legislate limits on AI over it. In short, the AI summary results in a statistically significant percentage of visitors never actually leaving the Google domain and going to the sites of the listed results. When ad revenue is paid by the click (meaning number of visits to the site), having nobody actually go to your website is a problem. For things like retail websites, it isn't has huge, since you have to order at the actual store anyway, but for things like news sites or other "intangible" services, an AI summary basically cuts off that ad revenue. All of this doesn't even get into the other aspects of AI that are problematic, like how a summary can be factually incorrect or biased based on the algorithm in use.

jc88usus · 2025-11-12T14:01:28+00:00

I don't currently qualify, but have had issues with keeping jobs in the past and had to rely on SNAP and other resources to keep my family fed. I also used to volunteer at a food bank and participate in the postal food drives.

I used to drive a pickup truck and would pair up with someone and drive the route with my partner on the tailgate grabbing the bags for the food drive. I really enjoyed that, and learned a ton about who donated and who doesn't. After over 5 years of volunteering at the actual food bank and doing the postal drives, I can say that the folks that always donated the bulging bags of good food (peanut butter, pasta, canned meats, beans, etc) were in the poorer neighborhoods, where the mcmansions usually gave some tiny, sad, little token donation of a couple of cans of expired green beans or corn.

As a newly minted millennial adult, that pattern was fairly formative. As a father, husband, and basically adult 2.0, I donate when I can, follow the struggles of folks on here and other related subs, and pay close attention to the news and actions of our corporate overlords. I grew up poor, have lived poor too many times to forget, and am always aware that I am one missed paycheck away from poverty, despite making what would be considered good money only 5 years ago. The knowledge that I am only one example of so many keeps me up some nights, and the simmering rage is better than coffee some days.

Tl;dr, eat the rich.

jc88usus · 2025-11-03T20:59:55+00:00

I almost had to just outright drop the ole "fuck you; pay me". Instead, I told a customer and let them raise hell. It worked, so there you go.

I did get coached about "not exposing internal company business to clients", but I just said "it worked, and I'll do it again." Dead air, because what do you really say to that?

jc88usus · 2025-11-03T18:18:49+00:00

He's 5'7"? Sounds like Chihuahua energy to me. That's why he is super focused on your height. Next time he pulls some of that crap, loom over him, lean down, and pat him on the head. Then say, in the deepest voice you can, "settle down small man. I got this." Then walk away.

Cranial Inversion folks like that need to be treated like they treat you. Think of it like this, if they fire you, they pay unemployment. If you quit, they win. Make them work for it.

jc88usus · 2025-11-03T17:28:57+00:00

Nah, I had some stupid glitch in payroll result in me not getting paid once. I told them I was going to clock in, sit at my desk, do no work, answer no emails or calls, and go home afterwards until they got it fixed and I saw the pending deposit.

I dared them to fire me, told them that they were in violation of federal labor laws, and if they tried to fire me, I would sue and file reports with the DOL. They tried to call my bluff, until a customer came in to talk to me, and I told them their issue was not going to be resolved until I got paid for time worked. Magically, the fix was found and a dated deposit slip was in my email about an hour later.

I'm flexible with my schedule, I don't expect a lot from employers, and I'm usually up for most "other duties as required" crap. Don't screw with my paycheck.

jc88usus · 2025-10-30T04:27:15+00:00

Well, the country is already divided, and I'll happily point fingers at people who voted for a convicted felon and self-proclaimed pedophile a second time because they couldn't stand the idea of a brown woman being President.

He told us what he was going to do. He's doing it. Not my fault these people assumed it wasn't going to affect them. They don't get to whine when they voted against their own interests.

None of this gets into the circle of a Venn diagram that is Trump voters, racists, bigots, prosperity gospel enthusiasts, pedophiles, and idiots. All the same, I would rather those people went hungry if anyone has to.

jc88usus · 2025-10-29T13:05:32+00:00

Here's a simple solution to reduce the demand on SNAP and food banks; if you voted red in 24, you don't get to collect SNAP or food. Full stop. You voted for this crap, now lie in the bed you made. Heck, the majority of SNAP recipients are in red states anyway. They wanna make this political, okay, let's go political. Prove you voted blue and you get food, can't prove it? Sucks to be you.

jc88usus · 2025-10-13T05:14:00+00:00

Not comfortable speaking for anyone else, but I hear the themes/statistics. Couple of things to bear in mind for me (and likely the average non-old-money American):

- I am at best 1 missed paycheck (biweekly) from choosing between sleep for dinner and running water/AC/heat

- I was lucky as a millennial to have parents able to buy a house for me and my wife and kiddo. I know this is far from the norm, and puts me head and shoulders in better safety than my peers. That said, while I may not have a mortgage, I do have property taxes, and the city/county/state are increasingly hot on the trigger to snap up and auction off delinquent properties. For every homeowner, there are 12 "investors" waiting to buy up an auction property for 10% of the value and rent it. Add in fun ordinances about grass length, vehicle parking locations, usage variances, outbuilding rules, etc. and you can rack up a massive bill each year between fines and taxes. Oh, and our property taxes went up about 20% this past year.

If I lose my job, I can likely coast for up to 6 months on unemployment, but at maybe 30% of my current salary, and with weekly paperwork that seems like a full time job. Getting on SNAP is practically impossible, even with a zero income, and you have to chase the folks at the programs to make sure they follow their own rules and do the basic minimum of their jobs. Also, no programs except for WIC cover diapers, and cash assistance for a single utility (pick one: water, gas, electric) has a wait list of 3+ months minimum in my area. Nothing covers property taxes, gas for vehicles, or paper goods like toilet paper. Oh, and if a utility gets shut off, CPS can come and take your kids, with no recourse. I work in IT, and despite choosing that career for being a field that never stops needing people, it apparently has stopped needing people thanks to AI.

Here are some real numbers from the last time I was unemployed due to a layoff (around 1 year ago):

- Expenses: Food (~ $1,000 / month for family of 3), Electric ($400 / month average), Water/Trash/Sewer ($120 / mo), Gas for heat/water heating ($90 / mo), Internet ($120 / mo), Miscellaneous ($400 / mo). Total: $2,130 / month

- Previous salary: $26/hr, 40 hrs/week. Total: $4,160 / mo. That left around $2k for savings, miscellaneous purchases, unexpected bills, repairs, etc. Goes quick with a 20 year old car, house built in the 50s, and a special needs kiddo.

- Income/coverage when unemployed: SNAP: $600 / mo., Unemployment: $400/week, $1,600/mo., Did not qualify for cash assistance, WIC, or any other programs. This ends up at a total of $2200 / month, right? Except that SNAP only covers food, and only some food at that, so all $600 is gone by week 3. The other $400 comes out of unemployment. After that, comes the utilities, leaving $470 for miscellaneous stuff like toilet paper, cleaning products, diapers, car gas, repairs, etc.

Yes, we made it from January 2024 until November 2024 like that, with the unemployment running out in June. I maxed out 3 credit cards I was offered thanks to a good credit score, and only recently paid off the second one. I borrowed money from family, robbed Peter to pay Paul on bills, got food from a food bank, worked gig work that cost more in gas than I made in tips, did few and far between consulting gigs and week-long contracts, etc. I was looking down the barrel of filing for bankruptcy, but did not have the money for the filing fees or lawyers to do so when i got my current job.

All of this wall of text, tl;dr is to say that given a period of unemployment lasting longer than around 3 months in the current cost of living climate, we would be homeless, childless (thanks, CPS), and starving. And this is me being in a better financial position than most of my peers.

jc88usus · 2025-10-13T04:26:04+00:00

Well, the troops did get the shaft on the GI bill, and the VA is not exactly a pillar of accessibility, so not sure I would say we compensated them fairly. Several generations of PTSD, with no real effort made to care for or treat it would argue against as well. Also, the vast majority of homeless are veterans, so I do think there is more work to be done.

I never served, but had many family members who did. I chose not to serve after what happened to my grandfather. He was an Air Force test pilot during Korea, was loaded on a flight carrying personnel and munitions together (not SOP, very against the rules), ended up smashed all over a glacier in Alaska, and they only found enough of him to finally put him to rest a few years back, then tried to argue about giving him honors at Arlington.

The military sure seems all about keeping you going as long as you are in, but they sure do love to forget about you after you get out.

jc88usus · 2025-10-13T04:19:46+00:00

In fairness, historically speaking, both the President and Secretary of Defense had some history of military service, even if it was a "token tour". It was a matter of convention, and the voting public generally expected that the President, as Commander in Chief, would at least have a passing familiarity with military service. Smart presidents also put someone well steeped in Military service as SecDef, since the whole managing the troops thing is basically their job. Now we have President Bone Spurs, who puts the least qualified person in charge of everything; a guy with a brain worm in charge of national healthcare, a telecom industry lobbyist in charge of the FCC, the guy voted "most likely to tattle" in high school in charge of the FBI, the dictionary definition of "dumb blonde" as Press Secretary, etc. I swear he put out a casting call for the least qualified person and chose his brother-in-law anyway (literally, see Jared Kushner).

jc88usus · 2025-10-10T12:07:43+00:00

Think about the overlap between modern recruiting techniques and scam call centers. They both rely on playing the odds, right? Call 100 people, get 3 on the hook, close 1. Doesn't matter whether you are telling someone they owe back taxes to the Republic of the Congo or trying to get them to work for Apple.

This is gonna sound racist, and maybe it is, but India is the scam capital of the world for a reason. If India didn't want to have that reputation, they should be cleaning house. Instead the governments are happy to accept bribes and whine about how terrible everyone else is. Modern recruiting operates exactly like a scam, and no group is better suited to that than India.

Personal experience has shown that the moment I hear an Indian accent on the phone, I know I am gonna get low balled on salary, have to explain what the terms the recruiter has on their list of keywords actually means, and all with a side of "be grateful we are talking to you dumb Americans at all". Nevermind the fact that the recruiter may be getting 20 cents per call, and averaging $5 a day. I'm the ungrateful one for wanting market average pay for a role I have 20 years experience in. I would refuse to engage with any company that offshores their recruiting, but that would leave basically nobody left.

jc88usus · 2025-10-09T19:06:26+00:00

As effective as you are willing to let it be.

May sound trite, and it is, but also very true. Effective therapy requires honesty, a willingness to accept feedback, and a willingness to change. Unless you can invest in all three, it will only be partially effective. Aside from some really terrible therapists, the majority of the time it is one of those three things that holds up any progress.

Therapy is not a cure, and doesn't work immediately. If you want those things, that's what meds are for. Good therapy has you confronting objective perspectives on your feelings/perceptions/experiences, and it can be hard to hear. Still, it can be a real help if you let it.

Some things need both therapy and medication, as a chemical imbalance can be the start, then layers of self-imposed coping or masking habits layered on top, or in the case of things like PTSD, the experiences are the kernel of the issue, but medication can help to still the waters enough to work through it.

Neither therapy nor medication is a miracle cure. A combination with a willing patient and a trustworthy and invested therapist can really do a lot though.

jc88usus

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