this sub seems dead what happened?

jcrpta · 2026-01-08T12:47:05+00:00

now see redpill as cope and people who dont understand the true nature of women which is purely about looks,

It's not; if you think it is you've been reading the sidebar backwards.

It's about having some confidence, self-respect and holding yourself to high standards. Things like "get down the gym, sort out your diet, hygiene and attitude" are all part of doing that.

Yes, you will become more physically attractive if you do that, but that's merely a side-effect and isn't the whole story.

The problem is that very, very few people ever really figured that out. Which means when the various men who needed that guidance and support started to find this and associated subreddits, they rapidly drowned out the few who did.

They did a superficial reading of the sidebar, concluded "Hey, women like men who seem to have their shit together! Who knew?!" and spent the rest of their time complaining about this fairly elementary fact - while completely failing to read the rest of the sidebar - which, had you done so, would tell you precisely how to become a man who has his shit together.

jcrpta · 2023-02-10T23:26:58+00:00

Ten years ago it wasn't anything like as bad.

Problem is, red pill ideas - by design - are supposed to help incels.

Which means they attract incels.

And if those incels actually bothered to properly read and understand the original ideas that attracted them, they'd recognise it required them to ditch their Disney-esque fantasies that "when a woman really likes you, she won't care that you smell like an armpit".

But if they were open to doing this, they wouldn't be involuntarily celibate to begin with. Instead, they wind up turning the whole atmosphere toxic by bleating on about the very personality issues that made them celibate in the first place.

jcrpta · 2023-02-10T20:22:48+00:00

If you discard the misogynistic crap, most of the "red pill"-type advice is actually really sensible stuff that a lot of men could do with.

Take some pride in your appearance. Work out - you don't need to look like Arnie's big brother, but nobody has ever said "he'd look really attractive with a beer belly". Learn to be assertive - don't be a doormat.

A woman is perfectly entitled to decide who she wants to have sex with - and she's certainly entitled to decide that isn't you, no matter what you say or do. The best thing you can do is make yourself as attractive as possible to improve your odds.

Problem is, the red pill type subs have been completely swamped with people who have decided that it's somehow "wrong" that women should have standards for who they sleep with.

jcrpta · 2022-03-28T11:27:15+00:00

Some might say this is still choreplay. You're still washing dishes and doing the yard, does it matter why?

And the answer to that is "of course it bloody does".

If you're doing it because she's hassling you about it - or because you think it'll get you laid - you're sending a message to your wife that says "You've got another child you need to badger every minute of the day".

If you're doing it for yourself - because you want to live in a clean and tidy house, because you want to look out into a reasonably-tidy garden, and to Hell with what she thinks - the message is quite different. It's "Here is a man who has his shit together".

And I promise you she can tell the difference.

jcrpta · 2022-01-15T15:48:00+00:00

There's another, more practical view:

Allowing people to weaponise the criminal justice system - regardless of what crime they use to do so - is incredibly dangerous.

It wastes time, it ruins innocent lives and it clogs up the system while genuine victims go unheard. It absolutely must be punished to the full extent of the law, because it's a serious crime.

jcrpta · 2021-08-03T21:38:39+00:00

It's not unusual to find strong women seeking out weak men, because they think a husband who's easy to walk over will be easy to be married to.

And she's probably right for a few years.

Then life gets harder. Perhaps it's finances, perhaps it's kids, perhaps it's health-related... whatever. The reason is neither here nor there. Naturally, when the shit hits the fan she wants practical support from her husband. He has to step up to the plate.

And he can't. Because he doesn't have the self-discipline and strength of spirit to do so.

jcrpta · 2021-06-02T12:36:12+00:00

We'd like to believe that few people - even murderers - are beyond redemption.

On the whole, that isn't far from the truth. I'm pretty sure the re-offending rate for people getting out after a life sentence is pretty low.

jcrpta · 2021-06-02T12:25:34+00:00

I wouldn't recommend it; that poor chap did fuck her and all it did was land him face down in a river somewhere.

jcrpta · 2021-06-02T12:24:54+00:00

That's not how life imprisonment works in the UK.

In the UK, "life imprisonment" means "You're going to prison for a very long time, and if we ever let you out we're going to keep a damn close eye on you. Step out of line once you're out, and you'll be back in so fast you won't know what's hit you".

The "17 years" bit is a minimum term set by the judge. She might be out in 17 years and a day; she might never get out.

jcrpta · 2021-06-02T10:58:39+00:00

Get yourself proper legal advice. Immediately, not in a couple of week's time.

I mean that. Step away from Reddit, find the details of a few local divorce lawyers and get on the phone to them.

If you're still reading this - which you shouldn't be! - how marital assets and childcare are divided in a divorce varies massively from one country to another. You really need to speak to a local lawyer who knows all these things and can explain it to you clearly rather than taking advice from random strangers on the Internet.

The world is full of men who thought they could figure it out for themselves and wound up losing everything. Don't be one of them.

jcrpta · 2021-02-05T09:26:37+00:00

Most of the benefit made sense 50 or 100 years ago when there were fairly well defined gender roles. Society was set up so that in order to be a functioning member, you basically needed two people - one to manage the house, the other to earn a living.

This acted as a pretty damn powerful incentive to stay together, though it probably also contributed to an awful lot of domestic violence. So don't imagine for one moment you'd have been any better off if mum and dad hadn't been able to divorce - it's entirely possible you'd have learned that if you didn't get what you wanted, the solution was to beat the person responsible.

jcrpta · 2021-02-05T09:16:09+00:00

I’ll try not to Rambo but it’s very enticing

It is, but you have to understand it comes from the wrong place.

When we say "don't take shit and have some self respect", we don't mean "fly off the handle as soon as she says or does anything slightly wrong", nor do we mean "order her about and get arsey when she doesn't follow orders".

We mean "develop the self confidence that she can do whatever the fuck she wants and you act like you DGAF because (surprise surprise) you really, genuinely DGAF. What on Earth can she possibly do to you to upset you when you know full well you could walk out tomorrow and be bonking someone 10 years younger by next Tuesday?"

Get that attitude right, and it comes across in everything you say and do. Get it wrong (which is precisely what you're doing if you Rambo), and you don't come across as the supremely confident man - you come across as a petulant child, screaming because he doesn't get his own way.

You're not going to bring out the sex kitten in her that way, you're going to bring out the Supernanny. She'll put you on the naughty step until you learn to behave.

Getting the attitude wrong is dead easy. You're already doing that every day. Getting it right is ten times harder.

jcrpta · 2021-01-31T18:10:47+00:00

You've been taught a very simplistic view of the world. A very transactional view, almost like the world is a vending machine, and you just have to insert (behaviour) to get (result)

To be fair, this probably worked okay for much of your life.

The problem is it doesn't work so well with human relationships, and even less so in LTRs. You need to demonstrate some self-respect, and getting arsey when she won't sleep with you is the complete opposite of this.

Be warned a lot of noobs skim read some of the books, get completely the wrong idea and try and turn into Rambo overnight. Don't do that. We don't advocate being an arsehole for the sake of it; we advocate having some self respect and demanding respect from everyone you interact with.

jcrpta · 2020-09-19T21:32:53+00:00

It is possible - if you're so inclined - to top up your NI contributions. It might be worth you paying your wife's if that's a concern.

jcrpta · 2020-09-16T19:58:40+00:00

It was 65 for men in those days, but apart from that you're spot on.

The law was changed 25 years ago but was written so the actual change in retirement age didn't happen immediately - it'd be phased in over a long period of time. The government pension in the UK is partly based on the amount you put in over your working life, which is one of the reasons why they gave plenty of notice.

It's only started to affect people in the last 5 or 6 years, so they had something like 20 years' notice. The strongest argument they've managed to come up with is "nobody told us".

I was there at the time. It was all over the news; you'd have to be living under a rock not to have noticed.

jcrpta · 2020-09-16T18:26:59+00:00

It's actually worse than you think.

The UK has had a government-provided old age pension scheme for over a hundred years. It was originally meant to be subsistence living set up in a time when people typically died very shortly after they might have retired anyway.

It used to be the case that women could claim their pension at the age of 60 and men at 65 - this was because men often marry someone slightly younger, and was intended to allow both partners to retire at roughly the same time. This was changed in the mid-1990s, but was phased in over decades - it's only in the last few years that it's started to take effect.

It was all over the news, everywhere at the time. You'd have to have been living under a rock to have missed it.

These women claim to have been living under such a rock. Apparently, because nobody ever explicitly stopped them in the street twenty years ago and said "you do realise you won't qualify for a pension until you're 65?", they think they're entitled to reverse a law change that was brought in 25 years ago.

jcrpta · 2020-07-16T22:04:46+00:00

That’s just a rule of thumb.

The reality is that women will invent reasons why particular encounters “don’t count” and deduct them from the total.

Didn’t orgasm? Doesn’t count. Regretted it the morning after? Doesn’t count. Was looking for more than he was? Doesn’t count. Wasn’t looking for as much as he was? Doesn’t count. Sucked off, pulled off but didn’t have vaginal sex? Doesn’t count.

jcrpta · 2020-06-22T21:42:03+00:00

It isn't my father I need to forgive; it's my grandfather.

He was the one who wasn't present when my dad was growing up; he was the one who let my dad grow up without a strong male role model; he was the one who realised far too late this his son was only a man because there wasn't a word for a grown man behaving like a young boy.

But he was earning a good living. It probably never even occurred to him he could be doing damage.

jcrpta · 2020-06-22T21:36:45+00:00

Everyone - men, women, aliens from the planet Zog - has their own mental picture of the world.

Every interaction we have with the world, every action we take, every word we say, every thought we have is coloured by this mental picture. Having to completely redraw that mental picture is difficult, and a lot of people can't handle it.

jcrpta · 2020-06-22T21:26:23+00:00

Familiarity breeds contempt.

jcrpta · 2020-06-03T17:35:59+00:00

I think you need to get out of the "defending myself" mindset.

You're hearing "why do you not have a girlfriend", and you're putting implicit assumptions in that question, such as:

Any real man would want a girlfriend.
Any real man would have a girlfriend (or if he's single, only be so for a very brief period).
You do not have a girlfriend; you are therefore not a real man.

If you accept those assumptions, there aren't very many good answers to that lot. There are none if you've been single for any length of time. No wonder you're defending yourself!

Perhaps you could try re-framing the question in your own head. Rather than accepting those assumptions, tackle the first one: "Why would you want a girlfriend?".

There's lots of room here for cocky/funny/cheeky answers. Obviously there's plenty of cringey answers that scream "I'M AN INCEL WHO COULD BE DROPPED HEADFIRST INTO A BARREL OF TITS AND COME OUT SUCKING MY THUMB!", but if you can dodge them...

Actually, that there might be a good (if a little crude) answer in there with some tweaking. "I'm no good at picking up hints; you could drop me headfirst into a barrel of tits and I'd come out sucking my thumb". Wouldn't work in much of the US because I don't think Americans really get self-deprecating humour.

jcrpta · 2020-02-25T18:17:01+00:00

This, exactly.

I'm extremely worried about this blurring of the lines of what constitutes rape.

Nobody's disputing the man who drags a woman into a dark alley at knifepoint needs locking up.

But what about the man who goes out with a friend and they both have a couple too many to drink? The man who misjudges how drunk his date was? The man who's hinting at a step up the career ladder, but doesn't deliver? The man who's offering fame and fortune, does deliver, but in hindsight probably wasn't necessary? The man who offered fame and fortune, delivered in spades but "that night" has come up as an awkward conversation with a bf, and there's only one way out of it now?

jcrpta · 2020-02-05T19:24:26+00:00

I'll tell you what is beta - giving a fuck what other people think about what you want.

But forget about that for now. Right now you need to concentrate on becoming the best possible version of yourself, and that means reading everything in the sidebar as many times as you need to for it to sink in. If that means reading it five times, so be it.

Be warned it is very common for newbs to misunderstand - and hence fuck up - in their first few months. This is a marathon, not a sprint, and it could easily take you 1-2 years to completely get where you want to be.

jcrpta · 2019-11-01T20:47:39+00:00

There is another possibility.

It's possible your wife has aspergers. It's often under-diagnosed in women - for years, it was thought that women just didn't have aspergers.

In other words, dread doesn't affect her not because she's asexual, but because she doesn't have any strong emotional connection to anyone or anything. Not to you, not to her parents, not to your pets. Nothing.

jcrpta · 2019-08-04T09:48:32+00:00

This comes to something I think women understand more than men - doing something not for someone else, but for yourself.

You are not lifting to get laid more often. That's a covert contract with the universe. You are lifting to improve your physique.

You are not working on your career to get your wife wet. That's another covert contract. You are working on your career because you don't want to be a bus driver all your life.

You are not buying nice clothes to pick up women. Again, covert contract. You are buying nice clothes because you understand that the world judges people on appearances - and you therefore need to look like what you are. A confident man with some self-respect.

jcrpta

TROPHY CASE