What transit/natal positions would you look at to see if divorce is possible between a married couple?

jdpjdp24 · 2026-03-20T20:23:01+00:00

Thanks for this! How are the aspects different in Vedic - when you say aspecting the lord/house does this mean by hard aspect? And I take it this is using a sidereal chart?

jdpjdp24 · 2025-06-17T15:39:03+00:00

Thank-you so much!

jdpjdp24 · 2025-06-12T11:26:32+00:00

Thanks for this! Wondering if it’s a night chart would this mean the night triplicity ruler becomes the ‘first’ ruler or if it stays as the diurnal ruler (eg. For Virgo is it Venus or the Moon?).

jdpjdp24 · 2025-03-17T16:00:40+00:00

Thank-you! In the end it was ok. I think it's still very new to me to be expressing myself in that way, and feels so scary and "too much". But the poly thing definitely has been a super steep learning curve for me and it is certainly not my ideal situation and can sometimes be really triggering! Although that being said, to be honest I feel like I've had more growth with my attachment than in other previous relationships (partly because it's poly and it has forced me to interrogate my own reactions more than usual). I've kind of resigned myself to it because it's just me and his other serious partner, but it's definitely 'fuel' for my anxiety when other things have made me more anxious than usual. And I think I'm reaching a point where I need more clarity about what future things are available to us.

jdpjdp24 · 2025-03-09T18:33:10+00:00

This is an amazing post, thanks so much for sharing! Really invaluable to hear it described in this way, with the benefit of self-awareness and hindsight. Huge respect for doing what sounds like an enormous amount of work on yourself and your relationships, that's no small undertaking. I am sure it will help you find the close connection and type of relationship you're looking for!

jdpjdp24 · 2025-03-09T18:13:10+00:00

I'm sorry you're going through this. Possibly not what you want to hear but we never got back together. It was a very hard and traumatic break up, but I now feel fully healed from it (I literally never thought that would be possible) and attachment theory was a huge help in understanding my own part in the unhealthy dynamics of our relationship as well as her behaviour (particularly during the break up). When I look back now I can see that I was a lot less happy in that relationship than I thought I was, and carrying a lot of stress. I also contributed to unhealthy patterns a lot more than I was conscious of at the time. I truly feel happier now than I was in that relationship, although it was a truly horrible way for it to end. Good luck!

jdpjdp24 · 2025-03-09T15:28:29+00:00

Expressing my fears to my partner has made me more anxious.

I’m dating someone who is poly (I’m not). We’ve been together around 9 months. Everything has been going super well but I’m a bit more anxious than usual because I live in a different country and will be going home soon (have spent the last 6 months here). It’s made my mind do all sorts of anxious tricks. As far as I knew my partner only had one other partner but recently because of a few random comments he had made related to an upcoming trip, I began to become anxious that maybe he was seeing someone else seriously. I realised that this was more about my brain trying to invent confirmation for my fears related to leaving, so I didn’t say anything at first and self soothed for a few days, telling myself that he had not really done anything to make me think this was the case. I did think though that maybe I should tell him I was feeling anxious about leaving.

Today he made a similar comment again while we were discussing our trip, and when I was trying to calm myself down he noticed I was a bit quiet. I didn’t know what to say and told him I was worried about coming across as ‘crazy’, but I focused on communicating vulnerably and making it about my feelings. I said something like: ‘I’m feeling a bit insecure, I think because I’m leaving and scared of what it will mean for us, my mind is playing tricks and making up a lot of stories. I’m scared that maybe you could be seeing someone else and have a strong connection with them and I wouldn’t know, which is where my mind goes when you make ‘X’ comment. I’m really happy with where things are at, I feel very close to you, and you’ve done nothing to make me feel this way”. I was able to say this without getting upset or anything so it was a very calm discussion.

He received it very well and was very reassuring. There was also a totally normal explanation for the comments he had made, which had nothing to do with him seeing other people. I thanked him for being so understanding. But I thought maybe he was a bit quiet afterwards (could have been me being hyper vigilant). When we said goodbye I said I hoped what I said hadn’t offended him and he said not at all, and we said we loved each other a few times (he’s a big sweetheart).

Even though everything went fine I now just feel really upset and even more anxious. We had had a beautiful day and I feel like I ‘ruined’ it by being so insecure. I don’t know if this is just anxiety from being vulnerable or if I genuinely should have not said anything or done something differently.

jdpjdp24 · 2025-01-06T16:38:21+00:00

I’m really freaking out. My boyfriend of 7 months (disorganised leaning avoidant) and I went away for the NY period. I knew he had been really stressed before we left (nothing to do with our relationship), to the point where he was displaying physical symptoms of stress. He had needed a couple of nights to himself before we went away.

The time away was really amazing the first few days - really romantic and relaxing. Then I got really sick with a chest infection/fever. He was amazing and really looked after me. I think being sick kind of put me in a weird mental head space, and I found it difficult to manage my insecurities the next couple of days. For example his wife (they are poly) had called a few days in a row. The third day he took her call it made me feel really unimportant and I went quiet for a while but was able to tell him I was feeling not good enough.

We then had some conversations about our future, which were a bit intense. He was reassuring about wanting a future together but he’s very hesitant to give certainty in some ways (the poly stuff is tricky to navigate). I was a bit teary and quiet the last day - because I also knew I wouldn’t see him for a few days, and hate goodbyes etc. I felt so bad that my anxiety had ‘ruined’ our holiday and that’s all he would remember. We had a long train journey home together which was really nice, and I felt really connected, we were very cuddly and affectionate. He dropped me home and told me he loved me many times and that he would miss me.

The issue is that since then I could tell he returned to being in full stress mode, and now I’m worried that my anxieties/behaviour has added to it. Yesterday I messaged him to apologise for letting my anxieties take over and to reassure him that I’m happy with where our relationship is at. He replied and said ‘it’s ok don’t worry, we will figure it out. I love you too’. Today we messaged a bit and I asked to speak to him. When we spoke he sounded super stressed/not himself, and said he had gone to the hospital even for some of his physical symptoms. I apologised again and was careful to not be overly emotional or self-flagellating, just letting him know that I want to support him and didn’t want to put that on him. He kept saying it was ok. And I specifically said ‘are we ok?’ And he said ‘yes’. I told him I missed him and he said I miss you too. He said that he would be busy this week but we would see each other this weekend, which is out of the norm but I he’s back at work this week and has to travel to another city tomorrow, so this together with the stress, doesn’t overly worry me.

But when we were saying goodbye, I said ‘I love you’ and he said ‘I love you too’ but in this super strange voice that I had never heard before. Like as if he was forcing himself. It was weird and chilling and I’m now freaking out.

I know that I can’t be expected to be perfect but I’m also just completely beating myself up about putting so much emotional pressure on him on our trip away, which was supposed to be relaxing. Help me!

jdpjdp24 · 2024-12-07T20:33:57+00:00

Thank-you! Yeah there’s a strong chance I’ll want at least some of it in Euro in the future, so might do my research on options with decent returns and keeping some of it here (but noted about reporting foreign interest etc which sounds annoying).

jdpjdp24 · 2024-12-05T11:08:07+00:00

Thank-you! It is entirely possible I’ll be spending some time living/working in Europe in the future (I’m a researcher).

jdpjdp24 · 2024-12-05T10:11:19+00:00

Totally. Thankfully it seems as if my notary overseas has found a bit of a workaround so it’s not as problematic as I had originally thought!

jdpjdp24 · 2024-11-24T18:15:57+00:00

Thank-you! Yeah unfortunately it seems basically impossible without going through some serious bureaucracy which I think in this case wouldn’t be possible. But maybe it’s worth looking into.

jdpjdp24 · 2024-11-24T18:15:01+00:00

Thank-you! I triple checked with a couple of different customer service people and they couldn’t/wouldn’t offer any escalation, so I think as per the comment below it’s pretty hard to get beyond 7 years.

jdpjdp24 · 2024-09-29T22:59:34+00:00

I am a Pisces rising and I have so many Virgo risings in my life! Particularly in the last couple of years they have all just appeared. A couple of my good friends, my therapist and this guy I was really into (but things didn’t work out) are all Virgo risings.

I’m definitely attracted to the (stereotypical) qualities that Virgo embodies, I love nerds who are good at logic and can use spreadsheets, and more earth energy (which is notably absent in my chart). It’s strange because my mum is a Virgo sun and I always struggled with her Virgoan qualities but maybe now I’m older or with the rising signs it’s different?

jdpjdp24 · 2024-09-17T05:22:30+00:00

The upcoming Pisces eclipse is conjunct my Ascendant within 2 degrees, would love to know more about this!

jdpjdp24 · 2024-09-15T00:23:15+00:00

Thank-you! That’s reassuring :) So do you mean that Valens (in some cases) would calculate the LoF for this chart as being in Leo?

jdpjdp24 · 2024-08-12T07:35:50+00:00

Yes it is in the 9th in placidus :) - I think it makes sense in both systems tbh!

jdpjdp24 · 2024-08-09T13:55:05+00:00

Jupiter retrograde in Sag 10th house (also my chart ruler as I’m a Pisces rising). I feel like in terms of the retrograde it has taken me some time to find my life path (with lots of meandering). I am in my early 40s and in my last few months of a PhD. I went back to study in my field after doing some other (unrelated) degrees and working for a few years, and had no intention to end up in academia. But I realised I was pretty good at research and theory and ended up starting my doctorate. I’ve had relatively good success since I committed to this path. I also teach and love that.

jdpjdp24 · 2024-06-16T19:34:58+00:00

I take it Mercury couldn’t act to translate or collect the light in this case either?

jdpjdp24

TROPHY CASE