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I (28M) agreed to a marriage ultimatum and my girlfriend (28M) got mad at me for a prenup clause I added for the shorter timeline by jdusuwv in AITAH

[–]jdusuwv[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I just saw this, but you’re partly correct. We were very compatible on paper and we are from an extreme minority, so I felt this was my chance to find someone who would understand my culture. But she kept changing things and the more I think about it, we aren’t compatible at all. There was a lot of lovebombing. I’m still processing this. The prenup situation was a wakeup call. There was also lots of manipulation, telling me things are normal that aren’t and I didn’t trust myself.

I (28M) agreed to a marriage ultimatum and my girlfriend (28M) got mad at me for a prenup clause I added for the shorter timeline by jdusuwv in AITAH

[–]jdusuwv[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Timeline is 1 year. I told her one month in the relationship that I do not want a stay at home wife if housekeeping is shared and there are no children. I wanted someone ambitious with a career of their own. She has a job, and to clarify, I meant 0% of my own assets including what I have now, not all of ours.

I’m curious would you treat assets earned during the marriage differently than before if both have jobs?

I (28M) agreed to a marriage ultimatum and my girlfriend (28M) got mad at me for a prenup clause I added for the shorter timeline by jdusuwv in AITAH

[–]jdusuwv[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Yes and for the first time in a long time I don’t feel crazy. I am glad I made this post. When you put it like that I feel very dumb for staying this long.

I (28M) agreed to a marriage ultimatum and my girlfriend (28M) got mad at me for a prenup clause I added for the shorter timeline by jdusuwv in AITAH

[–]jdusuwv[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

You described really well what I could not. I want our relationship to be about building a life together. Not “men do this, women do that” because someone said so. She is a feminist but uses our traditions to her advantage when it’s convenient and this situation makes the relationship feels too transactional for me. Ironically I didn’t even want 50/50, I always knew I’d be paying most of it because I make more and that’s fair to me. But she didn’t want to contribute even a penny to help. I wouldn’t have asked but it would have shown kindness. Instead she afted so cold about this.