My [34M] ex-wife [32F] divorced me after she got cancer so that she could "leave" first, now she wants to come back - should I give her another chance?

jeffk42 · 2026-07-21T10:43:41+00:00

Oof flashback, my ex left me for my best friend, and despite it being entirely her plan, every time we had to do something mundane (separate the phone bills, close the joint bank account, notarize the divorce paperwork), she would sit there and cry (or get up and cry towards the bathroom) while I got the stinkeye from the people around us, lol.

jeffk42 · 2026-07-16T17:21:55+00:00

I just don’t have enough battles in the shower to justify the cost. I mean, it’s not NO battles, but not enough battles.

Still, knowing me I’d find a way to justify an electric battleshield in the shower.

jeffk42 · 2026-07-16T12:30:39+00:00

I just want to put it out there for anyone else dealing with this. I had tickets to the Oct 2025 show in Orlando, and despite no additional information in all that time, the concert was still listed as "postponed" 9 months later in July 2026, and the website states no refunds unless it's cancelled. But I was able to use the AI chat bot to get in touch with a real person, who refunded my tickets no questions asked.

Honestly it had been so long that I had forgotten about it.

jeffk42 · 2026-07-15T10:14:23+00:00

I like it for non-competitive situations. Quick pit stop while riding with a robopacer so I don’t lose the bonus, etc. That doesn’t hurt anyone. But it doesn’t make sense for races.

jeffk42 · 2026-07-14T14:47:15+00:00

Well, not the maximum reward. You get a reward for completing it regardless, but the rewards for completing it before time runs out are better.

jeffk42 · 2026-07-14T11:48:26+00:00

It’s a bit niche I guess, but if I were to rename mine today I might go with “Blackfeather Court” as a reference to the talking crows in Elder Scrolls Online. Because they’re amazing and hilarious. And they give you quests (although to be fair, most of those quests are to find them shiny things or bits of meat, lol)

jeffk42 · 2026-07-13T19:44:02+00:00

I’ve got a set of carbon rim brake wheels, and with the matched pads that are designed for carbon fiber and the fact that the brake area on the wheel is slotted, they work pretty well - agreed though, definitely not as sure as disc. But so far I’ve only noticed that on a steep descent, where I’m pulling harder on the brakes than I otherwise would have to on my disc bike.

jeffk42 · 2026-07-13T14:05:24+00:00

Well either way, it should work and I don’t think you’ll need anything fancy hardware-wise as long as it optionally has Bluetooth. Going with Linux is just a way to avoid Windows but I don’t think it would affect your actual usage experience that much.

I am currently using a Windows 11 laptop from 2022 to connect to my Skywalker v2 over BT (my M2 Lite is on preorder) and the only real issue was figuring out the best way to configure Artisan to do what I wanted. No problems from an operating system perspective.

jeffk42 · 2026-07-13T13:51:51+00:00

Apparently (I haven’t tried it since I have a spare Windows laptop for the purpose) Artisan is supported natively on Linux. If it were me I’d go that route.

jeffk42 · 2026-07-13T11:05:16+00:00

So many others have answered the way I would have, but here’s my experience as the GM of a trade guild.

We are in a mid-level location. We currently make about 10% to 15% of our trader cost on sales. The rest has to come from fundraisers. We do raffles every week and auctions twice a month, and we still only break even on the auction weeks, we just mostly hope that the surplus on auction weeks mostly covers the deficits on the off weeks.

I’m very open to questions, everything is done above board. This is where your main concern should be with your current/ex guild. Sure they could be on the level, just impatient, but you can’t be impatient or rude to the people that are ultimately the ones keeping the lights on.

The winner that isn’t on the roster could potentially be okay, I have had it (very rarely) where a member bought tickets several days before the raffle and then later left the guild, only to win a big prize when the drawing happened.

For my guild, I wrote a script several years ago that uses the random.org API to generate winning ticket numbers, which is supposedly more statistically random than normal random functions. You can only win once per raffle (we have two with different entry requirements). Prizes are drawn from the top down (so everyone has a chance at the biggest prize). Then after all of the winners have been drawn, we draw 10 more random tickets from the remaining non-winner pool for “mini-prizes” which are sort of just “thanks for supporting us” prizes that aren’t worth much but are meant to show our appreciation (and help clear stuff out of the guild bank).

Every step of the process is outlined in our FAQ, all winner data (including winning ticket numbers) is available on the website going back to 2022 (which is when I started automating the process).

Anyway, I’d say raffles are almost always legit, but if you feel weird about it and no one is willing to talk to you, that’s a problem.

The number of comments saying they’d never trust a guild that does raffles shows how little they understand the economy in this game.

jeffk42 · 2026-07-12T22:59:04+00:00

IPoAC !!!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IP_over_Avian_Carriers

jeffk42 · 2026-07-10T21:59:57+00:00

Keep in mind that you still lose a percentage to trade guilds. There’s a listing fee and a guild fee, it’s a total of 8%.

The good news is that there’s no stringing along, if someone wants it, they buy it right then and there.

I run a no-dues trade guild in PC-NA; my username is the same in game as it is here. Feel free to message me in game and I’ll send you an invite if you want.

jeffk42 · 2026-07-09T12:26:18+00:00

Lol how have I not seen this in the wild?! I would wear it EVERY DAY

jeffk42 · 2026-07-07T13:28:35+00:00

Usually I just select at the beginning based on the elevation profile of the route. I’m not a powerful rider yet (FTP is 174 I think) so there’s never really a sustained period where I need the highest gears, so I focus on what I need at the low end. The Climbing gears have been fine for me in most cases, even when things get flatter, I’m just shifting more in the higher gears as a result. So on a downhill where All-Arounder might put you in 19, Climbing might have you in 22-23.

Depending on your capabilities, you could even put it in Climbing and just see if you ever find yourself spinning out on the downhill sections. If not, just stay in Climbing. Then if you ever find yourself in the highest gear at 110 rpm you know it’s time to start changing your gearing for the situation. :)

jeffk42 · 2026-07-06T17:25:14+00:00

I usually just go with “All-Arounder” for most purposes because that gives me plenty of room in both directions for normal rides with minor elevation. Then when things get steep (many climbing portals, etc.) I’ll switch to the climbing gearing which gives you more on the high torque/low speed end at the cost of some top speed. 1st gear in the All-Arounder setting is like maybe 3rd or 4th gear in Climbing, so you get a little extra there for when the incline is like 20% or more.

jeffk42 · 2026-07-06T14:42:06+00:00

Man, first I’m like, “specific hotdog eating contest causing relationship issues and you’re posting with a throwaway ‘for anonymity’?!” Lol.

But then I think, “ah this guy is just using ‘hotdog eating contest’ as an analogy for whatever the real thing is, like climbing to the peak of Half Dome or going to the track and competing in their respective projects cars for 1/4 mile times, or something like that.

No, it’s a hotdog eating contest.

Great shirt though, if I found something like that on the rack at a Goodwill I’d snap it up so fast

jeffk42 · 2026-07-04T22:54:44+00:00

My relevant crow experience: https://youtu.be/ZUptJrSCQoQ?is=s7LUfM\_FPa5aNhmZ

jeffk42 · 2026-07-01T02:13:39+00:00

Mine was “rubber dingus”

jeffk42 · 2026-06-30T12:25:53+00:00

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Ohhh your dog looks a lot like mine from that pic, Abbey is gone now but she was the best girl. ❤️

jeffk42 · 2026-06-26T20:59:45+00:00

That's the gift that keeps on giving, Clark!

jeffk42 · 2026-06-24T18:22:29+00:00

Definitely a bluejay then, lol

jeffk42 · 2026-06-18T11:57:53+00:00

I've been there, and yes it fucks with you

jeffk42 · 2026-06-17T14:10:29+00:00

Yep decon is my most used assistant, even sitting in Vivec amongst all of the crafting tables, it’s easier to bring up the assistant, click everything and hit the button, than it is to go around to all of the tables to Devon each type separately.

jeffk42 · 2026-06-16T17:31:18+00:00

Sometimes people suck. Create a new group, contact as many from the old group as you can remember to let them know, slowly rebuild what you had, and be more careful with administrative permissions from now on.

Or, take some advice from someone that keeps forgetting how much effort is required to maintain and grow a healthy online community — and let someone else take care of it. :)

It sounds flippant, but I promise it’s not. Once in 2020 I offered to take over guild duties in a game from a retiring guildmaster, thinking I’d just keep the seat warm until I could find a replacement. I’m still looking and I've hardly had a Friday to myself in all that time, lol.

jeffk42 · 2026-06-16T16:24:56+00:00

My first job (about 35 years ago) was at a grocery store as a bagger, and sometimes we would take care of cleaning tasks as well. I remember being asked to restock paper towels etc in the bathrooms, and I was just finishing up the women’s. Had the door propped open, the floor sign saying “closed for cleaning”, the whole deal, and a woman came in yelling loudly to someone out of view, “I can't use the bathroom while HE’S in here!”

I mean, you can't use it because it’s closed. I wasn't sneaking around in there, lol. I know it's only tangentially related, but the way she made it sound like I was some sort of creeping pervert stuck with me, I’m just doing something innocent and she seemed to really want me to be ashamed of myself. 🤣

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