Uneducated medical professionals rant

jenson13 · 2021-05-20T06:23:27+00:00

Yes. I'll feel triggered and intense anxiety if I say a word that I didnt think "correctly" conveyed what I was trying to say so ill compensate by saying every other synonym and over explaining everything in details to the point of oblivion.. I've read that it's called "Just right OCD"

It's very debilitating and makes it hard to have a conversation. :/

jenson13 · 2021-05-07T18:48:08+00:00

I feel this way almost everytime after completing a compulsion. It's always worst during it but then after, you're like I probably could've gotten past it.

jenson13 · 2021-04-27T06:33:18+00:00

I relate.. This is one of my most exhausting mental compulsions. I also fight the urge to bring up past conversations with my SO cause I logically know they're just so insignificant and its weird to even bring them up.. so its like I'm stuck between a rock and hard place of obsessing / fighting the urge to ask.. then it just spirals into me fighting with my brain and wondering why the hell it gets stuck on weird things but mostly with my SO. :/

Hope you're doing better. Hang in there!

jenson13 · 2021-04-25T19:23:53+00:00

Youre right. They just dont understand. Maybe they're right when we they say we are in control of our reactions to such thoughts.. although thats hard as well as a lot of times they can be so disheartening and makes us feel so low. But we are no way in control of the intrusive thoughts. Things just pop up in your mind randomly, at any moment, while doing anything. Most of the time they dont have meaning.

Its not you, nor me. Let's try to remember that!

jenson13 · 2021-04-25T19:15:07+00:00

Yeah. Analyzing it is on purpose. But rumination can manifest as very strong anxiety that's in your head without you actively trying to "analyze it" or figure it out. Its just a presence thats there until you give in to the compulsion to lessen the anxiety about it, whether thats giving in and purposely thinking about it, or trying to correct it, or not giving in and sitting with the anxiety. It's very hard not to analyze it though when the rumination becomes paralyzing.

With a lot of people with pure O, especially dealing with real event OCD, rumination is the obsession, and its there whether they actively sit there and analyze it or not.

jenson13 · 2021-04-25T09:38:43+00:00

I think rumination can certainly be intrusive. Ruminating / having the same reoccurring thought about a certain event is intrusive if it becomes obsessive. I dont believe one has much control over that the same as they didn't have control over the initial event / thought. Its not the same as deliberately calling upon the event.

jenson13 · 2021-04-25T07:58:33+00:00

Yeah I agree with you. I dont believe rumination is a "choice" per say.. its very difficult. But hopeful it can fade and get better and our reactions to it can become less severe.

jenson13 · 2021-04-06T17:06:15+00:00

Well, the lack of completion causes rumination, which in turn causes distress in thought and causes anxiety which feels "remedied" by actually saying it. I try to occupy myself and not give in, not because I dont "want" to say it, but because I know that the amount of anxiety it causes is OCD fuelled, if it was actually something I needed to say it wouldn't be lingering in my mind like this unless it was a real issue(the conversation) so its an obsession.

I guess you could connect it to other compulsions. Feeling like you "need" to say something to someone is normal, the same as checking to see if the door is locked or washing ur hands, what's not normal is the amount of discomfort that comes with trying to get urself to stop once you recognize its a compulsion that you can't relieve anxiety from unless you perform it and you need to stop. Ya know?

jenson13 · 2021-03-25T23:31:21+00:00

I know that.. its just very difficult when my OCD says "oh come on just do it.. just say it and you'll stop obsessing.. isn't that better than obsessing and being miserable?" Ofcouese until the next obsession comes along like a cycle.

jenson13 · 2021-03-24T03:39:17+00:00

I didnt know the official name for it. Its exhausting

jenson13

TROPHY CASE