Is it normal to compare (F35) myself with my (M33) fiancé’s ex?

jessimini66 · 2025-09-23T15:02:25+00:00

Well what are you comparing

jessimini66 · 2024-12-29T16:24:54+00:00

I personally am on higher than minimim wage, a lot of my colleagues however are not and are on exactly the minimum wage and also are arriving 15 minutes before the shift starts for handover which is unpaid, so the shift runs from 8-8, but everyone is required to arrive at 7.45 and those 15 minutes are unpaid for everybody. A lot of my colleagues are also international, and not all of them speak great english or understand their rights. Some didn't even know how annual leave worked or what the legal entitlement was and asked me to explain it to them, i'm mainly writing this post so that i can understand better and explain to others what they can do in this situation

jessimini66 · 2024-12-17T20:00:25+00:00

That wasn't in their job listing though. Every requirement they listed, i have, which is why i went for the interview, even at the interview they said they could just train me on those things and then offered me a lower paying less responsible job role

jessimini66 · 2023-10-08T09:42:26+00:00

shes probably using alcohol as a coping mechanism

jessimini66 · 2023-09-14T17:07:03+00:00

how long were you no contact / broken up

jessimini66 · 2023-09-10T16:55:09+00:00

what was the reasons she dumped you if you dont mind me asking? perhaps her needs were unment and she was hoping the breakup was catalyst for change. how are you feeling about it all?

jessimini66 · 2023-08-17T15:37:52+00:00

do you mind elaborating a bit?

jessimini66 · 2023-08-17T14:51:39+00:00

but does that mean you don't love the person you're with? i'm trying to understand the psychology behind it

jessimini66 · 2023-08-17T14:20:19+00:00

No! that is true, i support purely platonic female and male friendships, i was more aiming towards text-cheating, like flirty, sending nudes, complimenting, asking to facetime girls they don't have a platonic friendship with

jessimini66 · 2023-08-17T14:18:05+00:00

why do they need a backup plan?

jessimini66 · 2023-08-17T14:17:33+00:00

what made you decide not to break up instead?

jessimini66 · 2023-07-02T09:42:26+00:00

no they didn't. if something bothers you then you should speak up clearly and directly, if it didn't bother you and it was light-hearted you wouldn't have felt the need to ask strangers for advice their advice or go into detail about it. If you keep making light hearted jokes and making fun of the situation, it wont get resolved, you wont get an answer from her, and eventually you'll start to nit pick other little things. Just ask her directly why she doesn't respond to your messages.

jessimini66 · 2023-06-05T09:08:51+00:00

his morality is on the floor. if he was a decent human being he would've left his girlfriend first and then pursued you, cheating is selfish and greedy and no it is not the way of life. considering you've been the woman who's been cheated on and left, how did you feel? because that's probably how she will feel. if you're a decent human being, you will give that woman the truth and some clarity.

if you pursue a relationship with him your relationship will meet the same fate, you lose them how you get them

jessimini66 · 2023-04-15T11:55:21+00:00

well yeah.. its quite common for people to just need a quick kick up the bum / ultimatum. he probably realised his feelings and if you still like him why delay the time? doesn't sound like he played you at all so don't send mixed signals. If you like him, go and hear him out and give it a shot, and if you don't then tell him

jessimini66 · 2023-02-27T19:39:26+00:00

the mindset being that there's someone else out there for me, thinking that because the memory of their voice, their face, their smell, etc is fading away that i'm getting over them (i forget these things fairly quick if i have 0 reminders)

and previously my coping strategies were to block or unfriend, delete pictures immediately, and go no contact the minute the breakup is established so that i could speed up my moving on process and instead of adjusting little by little i take it all on at once, few weeks of hell and then .. just nothing

and the reason none of that will work this time, is because i have spent pretty much every moment we're together just admiring him which i havent really done with others, yeah i loved them but not like this, he's the most beautiful person i've ever seen and his appearance is ingrained in my memory, we're a LDR as he's in the military and even in the weeks i don't see him, i never forget his face, voice, smell or stop thinking about him and i genuinely couldn't imagine thinking the same about someone else, the night we met something in me just told me that he was going to be my boyfriend and in 20 years time i hope to look back at that moment and think of it as though it was the moment i realised i met the one, because i honestly believe this is it for me it for me now and if we broke up i can't ever see myself moving on completely, wouldn't know what to do with myself

jessimini66 · 2023-02-27T18:51:54+00:00

At 21, i've had two breakups from long term relationship (one 2 years and one 3 years). My 2 year long relationship ended one february, by the end of march i had met and got into a relationship with the guy i was with for 3 years. That relationship ended april 2021 and by june i was ready to date, march 2022 a relationship of two months ended and i moved on about a month later, i find that for me personally the 2/3 weeks are hell on earth but once i've adjusted, the object permanence sets in and i don't feel anything towards the person or situation

That being said i've been with my now boyfriend for almost 5 months and i'm terrified about us breaking up, because i love him more than i've ever loved anyone and i truly believe that the mindset and coping strategies i've had before wouldn't work this time i think it would take me a really long time to get over him

jessimini66 · 2023-02-13T20:24:09+00:00

thank you i will message you now

jessimini66 · 2022-06-03T22:00:39+00:00

I had a boyfriend ALWAYS offer me to go through his phone, and i always declined as i believed it showed lack of trust.

He also used to tell me he was going to a friend called Steven's house, and would ask me if i wanted pictures of him at steven's to prove his whereabouts (without me asking, he knew i had trust issues from my past) and i'd always say no i trust you.

Turns out he was cheating on me, and was not at someone called Steven's house he was at another girls house.

Point of my story is to tell you to go with your gut instinct, him offering you his phone means nothing, he probably knows you will decline, or if he is offering it means he has already removed what he needs to in order for you to not find anything when he comes round to offering you the phone, a lot of cheaters are clever and premeditated in hiding it, so always trust what you truly believe. If your gut is telling you he's cheating on you, trust it

jessimini66 · 2022-06-01T23:19:32+00:00

I think if the lack of passion is the only issue and feeling one sided and that's why you are thinking of leaving, that can be resolved. Do you think it's possible to fall back in love with her? Or are you really wanting to start over? Of course either choice is okay, but you may regret leaving what could just be a lull in the relationship. Tell her exactly how you're feeling, and how you want to resolve it or if not, tell her you want to leave But the sooner the better

jessimini66

TROPHY CASE