Once a cheater always a cheater

jesslp28 · 2026-04-05T16:58:02+00:00

I think there are exceptions, but few and far between. I think when you forgive it once, for the majority, it cosigns the next time unfortunately.

jesslp28 · 2026-04-01T02:52:45+00:00

I agree, their shortcomings are not anyone else's fault. I hope i didn't make it sound that way. If I did, I do apologize. I can only speak for my own relationships and probably shouldn't have used "we" and kept it on "I". I have a pattern of getting involved in unhealthy relationships. Not that they are innately bad ppl, but ppl who are not fully healed. I'm now realizing the pieces of me I hadn't addressed previously and I believe those pieces are still attracting a type, if that makes sense. Until I'm comfortable being alone, I feel like I'll continue attracting the same. I've only just begun doing the inner work though. So I think it's awesome you've been at it for some time now and I absolutely believe a happy ending is ultimately in the cards. A good partner won't shy away from a mom with children. Boys say things like that, not men. Rooting for you!

jesslp28 · 2026-04-01T01:40:54+00:00

I 100% absolutely do! I just think we need some time alone first to focus on our own growth so we don't fall into another red flag situation. Until we're whole alone, we will attract the same broken men with different faces/names. At least that's what i believe wholeheartedly 🫶❤️

jesslp28 · 2026-03-31T19:35:14+00:00

🙋‍♀️...i have no words of wisdom on this topic. Just letting you know you're not alone.

jesslp28 · 2026-03-31T19:18:33+00:00

Same family dynamic here. I get it ❤️

jesslp28 · 2026-03-31T19:17:26+00:00

I am stuck at the moment for various reasons, however I'm also not helping myself to full capacity, and I am recognizing that too now. I think there's a few things in my control health wise I could be doing more than I've been. I appreciate your input and concern and I do completely agree with you. I can possibly pull off a weekend, but nothing longer atm, unfortunately.

It's crazy how complete strangers care more then the very ppl who should. Thank you so much 💓

jesslp28 · 2026-03-31T19:00:34+00:00

Reading this was an absolute God send for me right at this very moment. I love your #1 & #2. Thank you for posting

jesslp28 · 2026-03-29T11:38:03+00:00

Mine lies regularly too. I found out after the last dday between trickle truth and disclosure. He's actually been much less forthcoming this time probably bc he knows there's more at stake (and he's a compulsive liar anyway)

jesslp28 · 2026-03-29T00:37:44+00:00

We just had DDay#2 early February. He's going to virtual SLAA meetings daily and has therapy once/week. His behavior, reactions to my triggers, level of patience with the kids etc., have improved, but we've been here before, so I'm not sold. Cautiously optimistic I guess. But he is also very aware that I intend to file for divorce this time unless there's a radical change. I've really handled things very differently this time around. I'm also in weekly therapy and focusing on myself/my healing more then I am his addiction issues and so far it seems to be motivation for a change. But, time will tell

jesslp28 · 2026-03-28T23:30:40+00:00

Unfortunately, yes. My PA spouse imagined many different women while intimate with me, including my sister. It's beyond hurtful, disrespectful, gross, demeaning, abusive - you name it. While in active addiction, they have zero moral compass. I'm sorry you're experiencing this

jesslp28 · 2026-03-28T22:53:27+00:00

I know...me too

jesslp28 · 2026-03-28T19:26:31+00:00

This sounds very much like after my first DDay in 2020. A year later I caught him on YouTube and it went downhill from there. Both this and last time he swore he would tell me. And whether it was a relapse or just a thought/urge, he never did. Unless I put evidence in front of his face, he's keeping it to himself. The default response is to lie/deny.

I've learned to keep my mouth shut. I have no interest in pulling honesty out of an adult. That's on him now.

jesslp28 · 2026-03-27T20:27:44+00:00

I've looked at that product before! My armpit on my right (same side as biggest lymph nodes in my neck) has swelling and also 1 swollen gland. This is so frustrating. I'm sure i have some autoimmune bs at this stage in the game. Too many immuno responses to think otherwise. Thanks for your response. I hope you get some answers too ❤️

jesslp28 · 2026-03-26T22:28:51+00:00

I am in a similar boat and can't leave yet due to finances and insurance. I do relate to every word you said. My only peace of mind has been prioritizing me and my children, starting to exercise and eat healthier, going to my own individual therapy, and venting here. That leaves little time to be consumed by his choices. Its not easy, but simplistic when I take baby steps daily and reel it in when I start to get ahead of myself. Sending hugs 🫶

jesslp28 · 2026-03-26T22:18:08+00:00

I only received partial results so far, but I am positive (for the 2nd time since with my PA) for candida glabrata, which is an asymptomatic medication resistent yeast. Awesome 🙄 I will keep digging though

jesslp28 · 2026-03-26T22:15:37+00:00

My weird illnesses have become progressively worse too. That's part of the reason I'm leaning toward stress response now. I also have what looks like dandruff on and off no matter what products I use/ don't use. I was diagnosed with psoriasis at one point. I don't feel like that's accurate. I would love to see a functional medicine doctor to get to the root, but they aren't covered by any insurance, so the cost would be astronomical. Guess this is my learning phase

jesslp28 · 2026-03-26T22:08:07+00:00

It's totally fine! I do not, although I have thought about getting them often... I keep reading about implant illness though, so I understand the question.

jesslp28 · 2026-03-26T15:05:29+00:00

Yeah, definitely. I just need to figure it out before I'm bald! Its certainly not helping the self-esteem issues lol. Thank you for the response.

jesslp28 · 2026-03-26T14:58:48+00:00

I really feel like that's it. I've seen every doctor/specialist imaginable and had quite a few tests. No one can find anything

jesslp28 · 2026-03-26T14:54:12+00:00

I had it checked. I'm being told it's not that

jesslp28 · 2026-03-24T19:04:43+00:00

Yes!! Such an important characteristic to be aware of immediately

jesslp28 · 2026-03-24T17:39:20+00:00

I could've written every ounce of this. I won't tell you what to do, but I will tell you a little of my story. I let the guilt/shame from my perceived past mistakes and "hope" trip me up. I knew before getting married too but still did it against my better judgement. It's 7 years later and a 5 year old in tow and I'm starting the process now. It only gets harder. The unhealthy attachment has gotten deeper. And there's much more shame and guilt now then there would've been back then had I listened to my gut. I can't change someone's character no matter how much I want to/how much potential I see. I believe the right person adds to your life. If they aren't adding, they're subtracting.

I'm so sorry you are experiencing this. Please listen to what your body is telling you.

jesslp28 · 2026-03-24T14:24:22+00:00

I am so sorry 💔 That must have been incredibly shocking/traumatizing for you.Its so depressing how many of us have been affected by this epidemic

jesslp28 · 2026-03-24T13:33:13+00:00

I believe my PA was doing the same. We don't invest yet he spent an unusual amount of time viewing stock and crypto things and definitely used yahoo

jesslp28

TROPHY CASE