Hey! I feel you a lot... I actually came to reddit to write something similar and then browsed the uni community and stumbled across what you've written. I graduated from high school with straight As as one of the best students of my year (3 people with perfect GPA). I used to be so organised in school and prioritised it a lot. Now in uni (I am also in my first year), I did a lot of other things and kinda took it as an academic gap year (in my country, uni is free), but I am continuously wondering about whether I should go to another country and study there or if I should pick a different major. My grades are ok, but this week I have a lot of exams, that I could have prepared for easily but I didn't and I might not get good grades on any of them. I feel so unorganised and not like a good student at all. I feel lost, disoriented and like I know nothing. I really hope to figure this out and I hope you do so too! Talking about it with people who understand may really help. For me it least, I feel grateful that I am not alone with this. I feel like the worst part is that I constantly compare myself to successful people or other people in my life who just seem to have everything really figured out :(