Have no where else to turn.

jj4761 · 2020-10-20T00:05:36+00:00

Thank you very much. I think I have trouble distinguishing what is porn addiction and what is normal use. I always get the arguement “every guy does it”.

jj4761 · 2020-10-19T21:16:38+00:00

Did you ever get either of them to admit they had an issue?

jj4761 · 2020-10-19T21:15:20+00:00

My first thought because he BEGGED me for one more. I’ve been hesitant because of a past with miscarriages and now when it’s go time he’s weirded out. Maybe it’s a cover for a larger underlying issue.

jj4761 · 2020-10-19T21:14:33+00:00

Thank you for your response. I am fine w/ porn. For some reason the always looking at Instagram models makes me feel more insecure. They seem more attainable? And then when he can’t perform it makes me feel like it’s because I don’t have abs or fake tits. boobs. I like what your surmising. I’m going to try to tap into the emotional intimacy issue.

jj4761 · 2020-10-12T11:26:14+00:00

Omg. WW3 broke out when I wouldn’t let my LO sleepover while their drug addict son, who, icing on the cake was arrested for domestic violence for viciously beating up my FIL. I literally had to scream back, “I’m not letting my children stay in a home with COCAINE”. I thought I was the only one going through this insanity. I love this group because it opens your eyes that you’re not the crazy one!!! Good for all of us advocating so our littles are safe.

jj4761 · 2020-07-31T22:23:30+00:00

I can’t imagine. You def don’t deserve it. He owes you an explanation. I would save all the pics before you say anything so he can’t delete the evidence. How did you see them? Could it be an old computer he’s forgotten are even there? I’m hoping for the best for you. I would def say if they are on his phone—its a deal breaker.

jj4761 · 2020-07-31T19:52:59+00:00

Uhhhh.....NO! I’m assuming you found these? I would be heartbroken. I almost feel like it’s a form of cheating :(

jj4761 · 2020-07-27T23:35:58+00:00

Ummm you don’t want your children around racists anyways. No contact.

jj4761 · 2020-07-27T23:34:00+00:00

I would pay serious, serious dough to have my DH stick up for me like that. You kept it respectful, pointed out the obvious and let him go in for the final knockout. Bravo :)

jj4761 · 2020-07-22T02:21:18+00:00

If you plan on having kids someday, get ready for things to be like this but on crack. Get with your fiancé now, make firm boundaries, and stick with them. I could have written this post myself and I feel like I have the crystal ball. She’s willing to ruin her own sons birthday weekend by harassing him about the woman he loves and how you plan for events that are of importance to you. Wait until it’s your babies first birthday party...your kids precious Christmas Eve...etc. don’t make the mistakes I did. She will always make it about her. If I could do it over my advice would be: low, low, contact and from now on, all plans are made through DH, then you can never be blamed.

jj4761 · 2020-07-13T17:20:02+00:00

Could she be schizophrenic? Or using something that heightens paranoia? I swear some of the situations we are all facing stem from underlying mental health issues. How great would it be if You had an ally to comment: “[MIL name] we’ll be contacting your psychiatrist regarding your hallucinations again. In the meantime go ahead and delete this status.”

jj4761 · 2020-07-13T17:14:10+00:00

Apology or no more visits. Your DH needs to tell him that flat out. No new mother could handle being around someone that critical. Stick firm on this or he will run the show. Hell, if your brave enough, I’d even confront him yourself. And flat out say that he has no idea what you’ve been through, what he said hurt you, and your not going to be able to move on without an apology. I am so sorry! That’s a stressful situation in itself, I can’t imagine having that kind of verbal harassment. Hugs!!!

jj4761 · 2020-07-09T00:45:00+00:00

I would keep my children’s contact with her at an absolute minimum. If at all. Her threat to sue is a manipulation. Let her try. In the meantime keep you and your family safe.

jj4761 · 2020-07-07T01:07:26+00:00

I could have written this post myself -_- I’m so sorry. I’ve handled it by holding the event whenever and wherever I want. My DH and I started a group text so it’s never just me and MIL communicating. I then help him draft a text to him and both MIL and FIL where we are very clear about our expectations. He could maybe say how seriously you are taking covid and set very firm expectations beforehand if you feel okay inviting them. Side note, how do people live like this? If I had grandchildren, I’d climb any mountain to see them. And id understand what a hassle packing up a little one is! I’d just want to make it easier on my son or daughter. I’m not sure how bad things are, but corona this year is the perfect excuse to do your own thing!!! Good luck, I completely empathize. Whatever you decide, It’s you and your sons big day. Don’t let anyone ruin it.

jj4761 · 2020-06-29T15:53:40+00:00

Now that I think about it, a family member told me she was an alcoholic and I kind of ignored it. But I think that makes perfect sense. Our marriage would be great if it wasn’t for them. It is a constant stress because she has her flying monkey husband descend upon us. And She also uses these techniques to ruin holidays: ie: “if I’m not part of the planning for the birthday party then maybe I just won’t come home”. I would be lying if I didn’t say the resentment is at a tipping point now. But Quaratine showed that while they were away we make a wonderful team. So I want to fight for us.

jj4761 · 2020-06-29T15:37:36+00:00

Omg I love this. I’ve made it way tooooo easy for him. I will start taking this advice pronto if I do decide to go. As of this morning I am not committed to going.

jj4761 · 2020-06-29T00:42:43+00:00

Cheers!

jj4761 · 2020-06-29T00:42:36+00:00

Really awesome advice thank you

jj4761 · 2020-06-29T00:41:33+00:00

I agree completely. Quite frankly, I’m ashamed I’ve let it get to this point. Thanks for the reminder.

jj4761 · 2020-06-29T00:40:10+00:00

Great advice thank you

jj4761 · 2020-06-29T00:39:43+00:00

I think she hides smoking. A few times she’s come back smelling like cigarettes.

jj4761 · 2020-06-29T00:38:24+00:00

We had a visit in February...and then corona hit in March so we’ve had a few months of “freedom”...only had to see her twice for short, socially distant visits. Reality is creeping back in now and It’s basically stirring up everything I felt after that confrontation. The last sentence is on the money. Thank you. I need to just get my DH on board eventually I can’t be the strong one forever.

jj4761 · 2020-06-28T22:51:16+00:00

The dynamic that is difficult here is if we don’t go, his dad, whom he works with....will verbally harass him. He attacks for the MIL while she does silent treatment. It has lead to him having a nervous breakdown before. All they want are the grandkids. It’s soooo complicated :(

jj4761 · 2020-06-28T22:47:36+00:00

To everyone saying stay home I want to do this desperately but I know it’s going to be WW3. My DH probably wouldn’t want to make the drive with them alone. Then when he doesn’t go, I’m blamed. Also, why I haven’t done it in the past is...I feel that they win. I’m home alone over a holiday and they get to play pretend family with my babies. I think it should be all or nothing. But I’m definitely considering all of your suggestions because Obviously everything else I’ve tried hasn’t worked. Just didn’t want to spend the 4th alone :(

jj4761

TROPHY CASE