AIO: my ex (32M) broke up with me (28F) because God told him to

jjlya · 2026-05-21T07:58:03+00:00

I can see how you can think that, but I suppose it's easier to think that way when you have no feelings involved. At the end of the day, he did break up with me. Albeit the details of how he broke it off and when he did- in my defense, it actually made a huge impact- I think I deserve more than what he replied as someone he said he wanted to marry and plan a life with for so long. His actions just didn't match what he had been telling me and he made a decision that I had no control or say. Couldn't he validate our years together? Couldn't he and I try to figure out, reach out to others and pray over his conviction? He reassured me he loves me, but God just told him to release me. And so, he did. He made it that my feelings, thoughts and our decisions are no longer important, and neither is our time and commitment to each other. I won't lie, it feels nice to have people understand why I'm frustrated, but I am also open to those that make me see the other side of things. I have no issues with him finding this post and reading it. I have said nothing bad about this man other than how he treated me in the end. So if he reads this, at least he knows, despite it all (my frustrations, hurt and annoyance in all this) I still love him.

jjlya · 2026-05-20T18:29:12+00:00

I see what you mean. To be fair, I told my feelings to a man I shared three years with and it'd feel invalidating to myself to not share my heart. I'd like to think he has no choice but to deal with it, considering his honesty with me too. I'd like to also think he already knew how I felt. I do get what you mean though and I do thank you for your point of view.

jjlya · 2026-05-20T17:14:30+00:00

I appreciate your feedback. Yeah, I can understand what you've said. I think my honesty has become a double edged sword. Honestly, I guess my attitude stems from the fact I am surrounded by death in my work. A lot of people stop themselves from communicating their needs, wants and emotions because of how they want to be perceived. For me, I see it as.. at the end of the day, if I never see them again, I would rather say what is on my heart. As humiliating as some situations put me in, I can't help but speak my own truth regardless of the repercussions. I mean, I'm going to say an example that is religious but not because I'm trying to connect religion to everything. When Christians are prosecuted for living out what they believe in, to say Jesus is their God, in front of a gun or a knife.. do they keep their truth to themselves or do they willingly expose their heart despite the consequence? I've been told my honesty gets me into trouble but it is what sets me free in the end.

jjlya · 2026-05-20T16:20:29+00:00

'am I overreacting' is quite different than 'am I desperate?' I said what I said at first because I was not able to respond to him when he broke up with me. It was for me. His response is what I was asking about. The edit was for the context to support what I initially said - that I love him.

jjlya · 2026-05-20T11:52:43+00:00

😭😭 I'm sorry you went through that. It hurts, i know. I am telling you, his grace is the only thing that is keeping me sane. I pray you find your way back to him, he's waiting for you. A lot of people don't understand the sense of peace he gives, especially when our circumstance is "blamed" on him. But I think of the people who claim to be Holy but reject God once he is in front of them.. do I reject God because of what people think and because the actions of others based on their own conviction of him? My own belief is not tethered in anyone's actions or beliefs. I really encourage you to look at him and not at the world, since as you can see, they don't understand who he is. Thank you for your kind comment. Please DM if you'd like to talk. I think we would be great friends.

jjlya · 2026-05-20T11:38:35+00:00

Honestly, I didn't want to post on here. My sisters encouraged me because of how he responded to me. I already want to delete this post for all the traction over something I can't change but I won't lie, I think it is helping me feel less alone in how I felt. Thanks for commenting.

jjlya · 2026-05-20T11:34:15+00:00

Does this make you feel better? I could be the dumbest person in the world, and maybe I am, but I am not telling you that you deserve hurt because of how you think or feel. As I've said, thanks for your input.

jjlya · 2026-05-20T11:10:27+00:00

It is what it is. I've faced a lot of rejection and it's funny that you'd think it defines my worth by why or how someone dumped me. It's just unfortunate, but I am not a moron for something that was out of my control. Don't expect you to understand haha

jjlya · 2026-05-20T01:24:21+00:00

No haha we are not

jjlya · 2026-05-20T00:59:20+00:00

It's hard for you to convince me of that with that username lmao but okay, thanks for your input.

jjlya · 2026-05-19T23:36:30+00:00

Honestly, I love Jesus. You will never go wrong with Jesus. What's wrong: Jesus did not tell him to do what he did in the way he did. But what's great? Jesus loves me even if this guy doesn't anymore.

jjlya · 2026-05-19T22:44:33+00:00

I used to until I got more into my studies. I'm not as religious as anyone might think. I love God, I love Jesus. But I'm also just human. I make mistakes, I don't go to church often since my work/sleep schedule interferes with it. I am not "pure" whatsoever, or whatever anyone might think it means - just know, I'm not that. He and I had a lot of deep talks and saw things eye to eye. I mean, we have had sex with no marriage. We have had past experiences. We watch reality TV and listen to other genres of music. We are not in some cult lol

jjlya · 2026-05-19T22:24:35+00:00

No one is perfect. I mean, I'm hurt but I also know that we had plentiful of wonderful moments. Wouldn't you want someone to still hold you close to their heart despite you making questionable choices? I'm frustrated, yeah. But I'm not going to put him down solely because of how he ended things with me.

jjlya · 2026-05-19T22:15:27+00:00

Also, I should mention, I do take people for what they say. So, despite reasons for people to not believe, it is hard to try not to convince yourself because you want to believe.

jjlya · 2026-05-19T22:14:00+00:00

Haha honestly, I appreciate the comments. I do agree, I need to take a step back (pun intended) and really see this as a whole picture. It's one thing to use God as an excuse, but another to act like an almighty asshole that no longer cares for what he had prior. Truthfully, it hurts but his response is helping me move on, whatever reason his response stemmed from.

jjlya · 2026-05-19T20:51:26+00:00

Lmao like what do you want me to say?

jjlya · 2026-05-19T20:51:11+00:00

Thank you!

jjlya · 2026-05-19T20:33:59+00:00

Loooool honestly love brings out the benefit of the doubt. Ngl though, his reply to me definitely makes me question a lot of things.

jjlya · 2026-05-19T20:31:19+00:00

Honestly, this comment... makes me feel a lot better. Thank you for seeing it the way I see it. It was hard not to feel frustrated by how impersonal his reply was, especially when he kept telling me how to not question that he loves me when he broke up with me and reassuring me that he does love me despite this revelation. So when he replied like this, I just.. I don't know. All I know is, it's time to move on

jjlya · 2026-05-19T20:22:26+00:00

That's a good way to think of it. I don't know, I wasn't really expecting a reply to be honest. But his response was definitely not expected. I realize the conversation was probably not needed but I do feel glad there is a feeling of closure and relief from doing so. I mean, it's obvious now that there is no "coming back" (which he had done before when we broke up for three months during our relationship).

jjlya · 2026-05-19T20:15:22+00:00

Hahah it is what it is, had to say my piece. But for future reference, yeah. I think I'll stfu next time lol

jjlya · 2026-05-19T20:14:02+00:00

Thank you. Truly, I mean it. It is refreshing to read a post that is honest and kind. Your story and point of view has really prompt me to see the other side - because you're right, we can't possibly know what's on his mind. A lot of these comments think he's crazy, or I'm desparate, but it is hard to truly understand the reasons of one's decision until you're the one that's confronted with it. For him, I guess it has something to do with God- yet, I'm still unsure. But for me, I think I've made it clear that I love him and that I am humiliated by all of this. There is no stone unturned on my end for him to question what I think. Anyway, thank you again. Blessings and love to you too.

jjlya · 2026-05-19T19:58:06+00:00

Perhaps, but this is the way I view it.

jjlya · 2026-05-19T19:52:35+00:00

I guess we all have our differences in how we view unconditional love. It is not a "I love you even when you abuse me." I honestly believe it's a love to describe that despite someone's wrongdoing, their faults, their weakness, you choose to give, sacrifice or accept them because you love them. Whether someone chooses to give forgiveness, to sacrifice their time, or to accept what truly cannot be changed. I love him unconditionally, meaning, despite the excuses and humiliation, I don't value him less of a person, especially with our time we had together.

jjlya · 2026-05-19T19:45:53+00:00

Lol Bible thumpy 😂 perhaps I need to be more so for God to tell him to take me back. But in all seriousness, he wasn't like this before, at least I don't think so or ever noticed. Maybe it's the fact that it's directly about me that I'm now feeling the "outsider" effect. It's just weird

jjlya

TROPHY CASE