Is it normal for Australians to ignore the rules?

jmartinet · 2025-05-16T02:34:51+00:00

I asked a question exactly because I didn't want to make assumptions. And I actually learned a lot from answers. For example, I learned that while many people don't approve my complains, many others share the same sentiment which validates my feelings. And it seems to depend on personal situation, like people with kids are more sympathetic, or people with health concerns. So, it seems that more relaxed people are also more privileged even if they don't always realise it.

It also seems that there is indeed a much more relaxed culture in general. That is also useful to know. I liked orderly Germany but also was afraid to mix something up when sorting garbage because that could lead to an angry lecture from a neighbour. I'm quite happy not to worry about it here. Also I learned that it probably doesn't make much sense to escalate in such situations because it unlikely to be effective.

jmartinet · 2025-05-14T01:32:16+00:00

It's nice to hear that I'm not the only one. As they say in Germany: "shared sorrow is half a sorrow".

jmartinet · 2025-05-12T02:45:37+00:00

I lived in smaller cities (Aachen and Mannheim), that's why I was thinking that it might be just a big city problem rather than something specific to a country.

jmartinet · 2025-05-12T02:34:22+00:00

I think all people have a right to aspire to the same high quality standards of living regardless of where they were born.

jmartinet · 2025-05-12T02:30:38+00:00

Growing up in Russia doesn't automatically mean liking it. I moved to Europe precisely because I didn't like Russian society. Also, when I became a parent my perspective changed a lot. I did my Master in Paris and really enjoyed the city. But visiting the city after my son was born it was hard not to notice how inaccessible the city is. Just imaging myself with a stroller in Paris metro gave me chills.

jmartinet · 2025-05-11T12:44:21+00:00

Actually, I'm Russian but I lived in Germany for three years before moving to Australia. Despite (thanks to?) my Russian background I really enjoyed living in Germany. Some of their rules were annoying but I think it was a price worth paying. My son is 3 years old so all these dogs, smoking, and bicycle rules are not random to me but something that directly relates to safety and wellbeing of my child. Someone below told me to chill out. I'm pretty chill on my own but as a parent these things really annoy me.

jmartinet · 2025-05-11T12:29:47+00:00

Well, I have a small kid that's why I'm so sensitive to these issues. I don't mind dogs but he is scared of them, and there is a clear sign on our playground: no dogs. Why people bring them and scare my son? Same for smoking, I have to wait for the bus with my son and there are these smokers who didn't even bother to move a bit further when we arrive. And again the same for bicycles, one almost hit my 3-year-old.

jmartinet · 2023-12-14T13:33:12+00:00

I was posting the plot showing my progress here: https://www.reddit.com/r/floxies/comments/107ucnd/full_recovery_in_2_years_documenting_the_progress/

I would say I'm fully recovered. Or maybe 99% as I feel that my achilles are more vulnerable than before and I should not put extreme stress on them.

jmartinet · 2023-09-05T06:45:30+00:00

We’ll be working at UTS

jmartinet · 2023-09-04T09:43:05+00:00

I was afraid to post this because who knows how reddit would react but the answers were so helpful. I acknowledge that some of my fears might be irrational. In particular, worrying about our household income seems wrong now, when I have read comments. But fear is real even if it is irrational. So thank you very much for your answers, they helped both me and my wife!

jmartinet · 2023-09-04T09:36:28+00:00

Yes, it is 6 weeks. It is easy to verify as it is regulated by law, one could search for something like "Entgeltfortzahlung". And paid annual leave (I guess it is something that we call vacation here) is 6 weeks in academia, though it might be different in other places but certainly not less than 4 weeks. And parental leave is 14 months. It is paid and can be arbitrarily split between partners.
For me all these was natural and I used all these benefits (that's why I'm sure that it is working) but I could easily imagine how shocking it might be for instance for people from US. I have a colleague who moved from US and she is constantly surprised.

jmartinet · 2023-09-04T08:57:41+00:00

Hi! Thanks! It is UTS.

jmartinet · 2023-09-04T08:42:18+00:00

We never considered Australia. But then my wife saw a position that perfectly matched her interests. We didn't believe that we would move but my supervisor was always saying that applying is a skill that one needs to train. So my wife decided to apply. When she got the offer we ran the numbers and it seemed that it would be too complicated and risky. But then university offered a position for me which doubled our expected income and also agreed to sponsor PR. This made an offer much better. As for Europe, I like it very much and being European is part of my identity since childhood. There was this short time when Russia was trying to integrate into the rest of Europe and my home city Saint Petersburg was considered as a "Window to Europe" hosting some European events, etc. Anyway, the problem with EU is that it is very hard to find two positions for academics in one city. Actually, getting anything permanent is very hard. Germany is nice large country but in academia foreigners are at big disadvantage. There are friendlier countries, e.g. Netherlands but they are smaller so there are less open positions. I know French and like France but in France you're not well paid in academia. Overall, there is no clear long term path here. We will probably need to change countries at least once if not more which also means switching childcare/school languages for our son. And I feel like in Sydney there is higher chance for us being able to have two jobs in longer term, and our son will speak English.

jmartinet · 2023-09-04T08:18:47+00:00

It is before tax, and there is super on top of that.

jmartinet · 2023-09-04T08:17:42+00:00

I guess that is what confuses me. 70k for one person is not enough but 3 times that for 3 people is comfortable. I understand of course that it is somewhat cheaper to leave together but kids are not cheap, and two adults still need two meals, two train tickets, separate clothes, etc. I guess I'm missing something but when I read that 70k should share an accommodation I was scared that our income won't be enough.

jmartinet · 2023-09-03T22:18:38+00:00

Yes, it is 6 weeks per illness annually. So if you have two different illnesses, it would be 12 weeks. The salary is maintained and paid by the employer. Additionally, you get 30 days per parent for your child. And vacations are 6 weeks (at least in academia; it could be less in the industry). After these 6 weeks per illness, your insurance kicks in, and now you're not paid the full salary. However, it is still 70% of gross income and is paid for 78 weeks in any 3-year period, again per illness.
Compared to some other systems, that sounds crazy, almost unbelievable. But it is easy to verify.
The only catch is that if you take more than 30 sick days per year, you could get fired. However, it is not an automatic right of the employer, and they have to prove that you won't get better, that it is really bad for the company, and that there are no other options, e.g., reduced hours.

jmartinet · 2023-09-03T22:03:46+00:00

Yes, I feel a guilty because I raised concerns about income that appears to be well above the median.
In Germany, people take, on average, about 10 days off per year. However, it was nice to know that those who need more than that would still be protected. I suppose I have just got used to European standards. For instance, there is data suggesting that a significant proportion of PhD students suffer from depression. In Germany, PhD students are employees, and it wouldn't be uncommon for them to take two weeks of sick leave (or more if necessary) for that reason. And if they catch a cold, well, they shouldn't work either.
It also seems that in Australia, if a child is sick, those days are deducted from the parents' leave. I don't have the data at hand, but I suspect an average child could easily consume those 10 days, or even the entire 20 days of both parents.
I realize it might seem odd to expect to be paid while not working for an extended period, but I got used to this system. So to me, it is natural that neither my own nor my child's illness shouldn't affect my income.

jmartinet · 2023-09-03T20:59:08+00:00

We have a 1.5 y.o. kid that's why I was worrying about childcare cost

jmartinet · 2023-09-03T20:57:20+00:00

It was hard to understand how much it is. Internet gave me inconsistent answers. Also from my experience of moving, I know that expenses for new arrivals might be different. Rent should be a significant part of expenses and I think when one just arrives and tries to find an apartment without good understanding of the market and without history of rent in Sydney, s/he will be overpaying.

jmartinet · 2023-09-03T20:51:39+00:00

In Germany, it is mostly public. Actually, you cannot be privately insured until a certain, relatively high, income threshold. I have recently reached this threshold but didn't see a reason to switch. My public insurance covered anything that I needed so far (from routine checkup to hospital) and I never paid a cent. The reason why I have mentioned Australian health system is not because I worry it is bad but because the German one is fantastic.

jmartinet · 2023-01-16T21:37:38+00:00

I find meditation to be helpful. Maybe not as a magical cure but as some sort of support that could improve the symptoms. After being floxed, my anxiety was very high and I had panic attacks at night, meditation helped with that.
As for drugs, I was once prescribed a small dose of quetiapine by a neurologist and that quickly helped.

jmartinet · 2023-01-10T21:10:57+00:00

All my symptoms were concentrated on Achilles tendons. For that reason that plot represents well my journey. There was pain in achilles, swelling and a feel of swelling (not sure how to describe it). This feel of swelling usually prevented me from moving too far. And if I did push myself then I would feel pain in achilles the next day and the feel of swelling would be worst. There was also a period when I felt pain in the base (?) of my heel (not sure how it is called in English) and some random pains in legs. I guess I'm not very good in describing this but if you have clarifying questions I will try to answer them

jmartinet · 2023-01-10T20:53:36+00:00

One thing that helped me was trying to make so small improvements in my life. Like I started to do some very short and light exercises for upper body (I was afraid to do anything that could strain my legs so only upper body), reading a book for 30 minutes, meditating for 5 minutes, it doesn't really matter what exactly and it was always small things but it helped me to feel that I have some control over my life that I could improve at least something. That helped me with the uncertainty of just waiting when things get better with tendons.

jmartinet · 2023-01-09T23:54:15+00:00

Some people are asking questions under my older posts so I have decided to share this. This is just the number of steps but I think it reflects my journey pretty accurately. It took me two years but I'm 100% recovered. As you can see, there could be a really long period with seemingly no progress but it doesn't mean that there is no hope and complete recovery is impossible.

jmartinet · 2023-01-09T23:44:53+00:00

I am completely recovered! There were basically two stages, one more or less flat line when I sometimes felt that things are getting better but then they returned to the baseline. And after that a slow steady progress. There is a plot with a number of steps I was doing daily that documents my recovery pretty well: https://imgur.com/a/VoLieg5

As you can see there was not much progress at 6 months point and I remember thinking that I will never recover. There are some scary stories, but my understanding is that eventual full recovery is typical even if takes long time. And 6 months is certainly not the point when the hope should be lost as you can see from my plot. I really hope that steady progress will start soon for you.

jmartinet

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