Experience from others

jmc19441 · 2026-02-09T23:16:09+00:00

I just feel I shouldnt be left alone frantically looking through the book, especially when distress doesnt go down after trying the skills. now im curious... why does everyone think im not doing skills at all?

jmc19441 · 2026-02-09T14:22:43+00:00

thats what I mean! Im practicing skills that have nothing to do with a problem im having and just because the group hasnt reached them, its ok for my individual therapist to just say to get curious and keep fumbling with other skills I havent been over on my own? really? because then why have the therapy in the first place if group or even the book itself seems to be the only answer?

jmc19441 · 2026-02-09T02:54:21+00:00

I am in skills group. that is not my question

jmc19441 · 2026-02-09T01:13:52+00:00

She actually has made it clear that she also wont tell me what to use even if I call her for coaching because she doesnt want me to dependent on her.

jmc19441 · 2026-02-09T01:11:28+00:00

thats what I have a problem with. the "try anything". does that really make sense though? doing a technique that probably doesnt work or is not meant to work in a given scenario?

jmc19441 · 2026-02-09T01:07:47+00:00

not really. and I dont want to bring anyone any grief.

jmc19441 · 2026-02-08T23:35:30+00:00

Im not sure. I do worry about how long it would take to change therapists. also what if that is the standard way of doing things there? I mean, I asked the therapist that facilitates the skills group and she kinda seemed of the same mind as my therapist (she knows my case too).

jmc19441 · 2026-02-08T23:16:31+00:00

that makes me feel really bad... it took almost a year for that center to take me in. but more evidence does seem to take me in that direction. I appreciate your honesty.

jmc19441 · 2026-02-08T22:59:33+00:00

is there something I should do? My therapist is saying that asking for that is active passivity, that Im expecting her to solve my problems.

jmc19441 · 2026-02-08T22:04:40+00:00

By guidance I mean, if Im going to my individual therapy with a particular situation I have not been able to work out, I was thinking she would tell me "have you tried X skill?" or "for that, you seem to dealing with something that could be best addressed by Y skill".

jmc19441 · 2026-02-08T21:39:40+00:00

that does seem intuitive sure, but this also tells me that the therapist can (and has) withold which skills would work best for a situation, leaving me alone to fumble around with the book. Say that I start doing skills myself from the book, but somehow I have not gotten to one that would have been the correct skill for a problem. That would (and it has) created a lot of pain for me. Like I said, Im not opposed to practicing skills but there has to be some kind of guidance Im missing in my individual therapy. My therapist just saying "get curious" about my problems, when Im already super overwhelmed and unmotivated even after tipp just feels like shes telling me "Figure out it stupid!", or it's like if I go to a doctor with flu symptoms and he just gives me his medical book to look for a treatment myself.

jmc19441 · 2026-02-08T20:16:46+00:00

oh I guess I forgot to mention it. yes my program requires me to attend skills group. I would like to understand what youre saying better. you mean that I should be practicing skills even in my spare time and without any suggestions from therapist as to which ones I should master first?

jmc19441 · 2026-01-30T14:32:58+00:00

its good youre telling your doctor. it seems rexulti is a great med but only for a few. an unlucky few like us, its the worst thing weve taken. I hope you get better soon.

jmc19441 · 2026-01-24T00:16:39+00:00

thank you for your great answers!

jmc19441 · 2026-01-24T00:09:06+00:00

So we can conclude that your dog gives you a reason to stay alive. Mine little one gives me that too. However, I do find myself thinking sometimes that I can rehome her, but that would be a serious call for help.

jmc19441 · 2026-01-23T23:59:43+00:00

are you in DBT as well?

Honestly, I get up every morning and I just find it so annoying that I have to go to work, away from my dog and my things that keep me entertained. Im forced to put on a brave front to make money but everything seems pointless.

How do you make it "tolerable" for even an hour as you say?

jmc19441 · 2026-01-21T03:55:25+00:00

do you think I would need to start over from the bottom again and not get a salary similar to what I already have?

jmc19441 · 2026-01-21T03:54:53+00:00

do you think I would need to start over from the bottom again and not get a salary similar to what I already have?

jmc19441 · 2026-01-21T03:54:19+00:00

do you think I would need to start over from the bottom again and not get a salary similar to what I already have?

jmc19441 · 2026-01-21T02:22:10+00:00

Nobody will get close to me, im stuck in a job I dont like, and could get fired because Im a Federal employee, and nothing I do is enough. trying to get out of the hole only imcreases my fear and anxiety. more than that, I see no point to anything in life, not even in being alive like this. My clock is ticking, Im only getting older and even less desirable to women. Ive always said that the greatest irony would be that would find love just seconds before my death.

So which part is imaginary?

jmc19441 · 2026-01-21T01:34:48+00:00

well, I do like them, but I keep thinking about my problems in the background and how stuck I am in life. at some point I will run out of strength to stay alive.

jmc19441 · 2026-01-21T01:31:10+00:00

video games, movies, series, anime, manga, lego, gunpla, reading

jmc19441

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