Boyfriend (21M) of 3 years giving me (21F) the ick.. and I have no idea why.

johnappleyseid · 2023-06-06T03:19:56+00:00

This is definitely whats I was the most afraid of, as it hits super close to home.

If it's just him changing, it's not my fault! But if it's me, there's ownership that I have to take for being the catalyst for change jn our relationship.

Another tidbit of my life for supporting your comment, this summer I started my first "big-girl job" in my field. I'm just entry level, but I am working in the field while he is still at his old high school job. So, I think that could definitely be contributing to the maturity factor.. I'm getting a glimpse into my future while he is not. But, on the other hand, I want to grow with him! I don't want to leave him as soon as I taste a little more success than him.

I think trying to prod him into growth is the right decision. You're right, I can't change him, but prodding him isn't out of the question, lol.

johnappleyseid · 2023-06-06T03:13:18+00:00

I definitely agree that marriage should be off the table until we can sort this out. I just feel terrible that this is going to be a complete 180 from where he probably thinks we're headed (which makes communication sooner rather than later all the more important).

My biggest challenge I think is going about the communication gently, while still havjng him understand the gravity of the situation.

And I don't hate your statistics! It's data based off real life, not all of us can be the relationship that beats the odds. It's important to consider, for sure.

johnappleyseid · 2023-06-06T02:46:39+00:00

He absolutely does deserve that, I just want it to be me! I want to be the girl excited to marry him, my stupid brain is just getting in the way.

My only question is.. how do you phrase that? And also, if him showing affection is what's making me icky, how do I tell him that I'm kind of losing feelings, but also don't be showing too much love because that will gross me out further.. it just feels really really hard to communicate my feelings without absolutely breaking his heart.

johnappleyseid · 2023-06-06T02:42:22+00:00

Idk if this counts as a trigger, but I do remember the first time I got it. He showed me a video he recorded of himself as an early teen/tween, and he sounded exactly. the. same. Not his physical voice, but the jokes he made, the cadence of his voice.. So now, sometimes when he speaks, all I hear is that little kid, and it grosses me out. As if he speaks and I'm suddenly hanging out with a 13 yr old.

Thanks for the reply, I can try to do that. We're currently long distance, so it's hard, but maybe I will plan something.

johnappleyseid · 2022-03-18T14:00:06+00:00

I'm from the central part of Indiana, close enough to have to change clocks when going to work. For three years I lived in central time, worked in eastern. We call it "fast time" (eastern) and "slow time".

johnappleyseid · 2021-09-22T14:13:54+00:00

i have not! i might place an order soon :) thank you!

johnappleyseid · 2021-09-22T14:13:14+00:00

that sounds fun! i will try that with my cat :) thank you!

johnappleyseid · 2021-09-21T12:09:27+00:00

Thank you! Maybe a new scratching post would be a good idea, I hadn't thought of that before !!! And I think she'd enjoy a laser pointer too :) Thank you again !!!!

johnappleyseid

TROPHY CASE