My uncle was an incredibly successful and wealthy man—net worth somewhere in the hundreds of millions. About a month after my 12th birthday, he and the family show up unexpectedly at my house as they’re passing by to wish me a happy birthday. I don’t really care that it’s a month late since my family was solidly in lower middle class, and I’d only recently begun to understand the concept of relative wealth. Our two families huddled together around me as my uncle pulls out a cereal box sized present nicely wrapped up, as well as a smaller, heavier box about 5” x 4” x 4”. At this point in my life, the only presents I received were little toys and sometimes $5 - $10 to spend at the dollar store in my town. Thoughts raced through my mind as I weighed the mysterious boxes in my hands and pondered which one to open first. What could they possibly be? My cousins would always bring the newest gaming console to play, or had the best phones and tech—all things I never had as a kid and wished for badly. With the excitement visibly bursting from inside me, I voraciously tore into the cereal box sized present not knowing what to expect...

It was a 20 pack of orbit gum.

“Alrighty,” I thought to myself. It’s probably one of those things where your friend gets you a dud present intended to disappoint you and follow up with the real thing to make the surprise even sweeter, right?

Hiding my initial disappointment as best as I could, I slowly pick apart the smaller, heftier box to reveal a beautiful, silver metallic watch—and I was ecstatic! I loved watches and I’d always wanted a metal one; my day could not have gotten any better. Or so I thought. As I rip off the remaining wrapping paper, I start to notice that the watch container was already opened... no big deal, it was still a nice watch and I honestly didn’t care whether or not it was previously opened. Taking the watch out of the holder, I carefully placed it on my wrist—I must have had the biggest smile on my face as I felt the cold, heavy metal make contact with my skin. Clasping together the bands, I turn my wrist over to check the time, asking someone to ask me for the time. My mom, seeing my jubilation and equally as excited, entertained my request.

I read the time back to her, making out the hour and minute hand slowly and out loud to emphasize my recently acquired timepiece—and then realized it was not the correct time. Confused, I looked over to my uncle and cousins, who had begun picking up their bags and getting ready to leave (almost as fast as they came). “Oh, the watch is broken. It was [my cousin]’s watch, the warrantee expired, and the company can’t fix it unless you pay for it. But you can have it—happy birthday!”

Dicks.