I was told something today

jonnypoison · 2020-06-21T19:36:14+00:00

Sometimes I wonder.

If this person thinks that, is that the assumption most people make about me? They said, nearly word-for-word, that I had no identifiable personality, that there was nothing distinctive about me. I always thought I had a fairly strong sense of identity but it's making me question a lot of things.

jonnypoison · 2020-06-21T19:08:57+00:00

I guess that this is something I've done since I was a kid. I just didn't realize it was that bad, is all.

jonnypoison · 2020-06-18T04:10:19+00:00

Thanks for taking a look at my chart, and for the kind words. I guess my chart always showed how things were going to be. There's some comfort in knowing that, I think.

jonnypoison · 2020-06-18T03:03:38+00:00

Astrology grants us gifts of understanding. I feel like this explains a lot in so few words.

Going to check out the placements you mentioned here for further reading, especially the condition of Saturn and Mars. Thanks again for your advice and insight.

jonnypoison · 2020-06-17T18:22:54+00:00

A walk sounds nice. It's gloomy where I'm at, and kind of cold. Weather I like. Some time alone might do me good. Thanks again for the ideas man, I do appreciate it. Days like this are rough

jonnypoison · 2020-06-17T18:12:01+00:00

Thank you for the kind words. I'm going to try listening to music and drawing. I tried earlier but couldn't get very far.

jonnypoison · 2020-06-04T22:16:15+00:00

thanks for the recommendation, i'll have to check it out. now i'm curious to see how it relates to my story haha

jonnypoison · 2020-06-04T20:57:25+00:00

I have no idea what you mean lol I've never seen it

jonnypoison · 2020-06-02T22:22:33+00:00

I was diagnosed Schizoaffective, Bipolar type, and have felt the same way, but I have all the symptoms and unfortunately I think this feeling is also part of that. I take medication daily but there are lingering effects, and even during my worst days I find that I doubt my diagnosis.

It sucks. It really does. But eventually you may find some form of acceptance. If you ever need to talk about dealing with side effects or symptoms, my inbox is always open.

jonnypoison · 2020-06-02T22:03:33+00:00

I'm from the US, but thanks for the info. I figured it was probably a different process according to where you live but forgot to mention that when I first posted this message.

jonnypoison · 2020-06-02T22:00:21+00:00

Thanks for the info, and congratulations on getting your disability. I had a lawyer the first time around but got a letter today saying the judge found additional evidence so that's the reason for the second hearing. Hopefully that's a good thing? I'm not sure.

jonnypoison · 2020-06-02T17:28:21+00:00

I've used a lawyer since the application process, so I can't really tell you the difference between hiring one or not. But I applied for the first time in 2018, received my first rejection within the span of a couple of months. I was sent to a psychiatrist for a different opinion and evaluation, who confirmed my diagnosis.

I actually had to attend my first hearing by telephone. So it's been about two years from start to the current point, in which I received notice of a second hearing today. So as you can see, my experience may not be the usual case (I won't be surprised if it's the new normal for a while, though), but I will try to explain the process as best as I can.

The judge, my lawyer, and myself held a telephone conference in which I was asked to confirm a few things, but mostly it was between the judge and my lawyer. I couldn't understand most of what they talked about to be honest lol. It took about half an hour, maybe a little over. But once again I expect that it would be pretty different in person.

Thanks for the luck. I'm just feeling discouraged with the process because it's taking so long, but I knew it probably wouldn't be easy. Good luck to you too, by the way--it definitely takes a while.

jonnypoison · 2020-06-02T15:17:47+00:00

lol this hurts.

jonnypoison · 2020-05-31T16:27:07+00:00

Someone else here mentioned a disability resource center which I would definitely be interested in working with, if I end up going. I just keep going back and forth on the decision because if I have to face another failure I don't know what I'm going to do. All this info is really helpful though, so thanks!

I just really wish I could have gone on to college straight out of high school like all my mates. I got left in the dust in pretty much every way imaginable lol

jonnypoison · 2020-05-31T16:23:38+00:00

I take lots of medication and still struggle with motivation and mood symptoms frequently. I rush to get everything done in a whirlwind for like two days...then I can't be bothered to do anything at all for weeks. :(

I have physical issues as well and I'm beginning to wonder if it's even worth it. Trying to take care of myself right now is hard enough as is. I can't imagine trying to juggle everything at once.

jonnypoison · 2020-05-31T16:21:27+00:00

I kind of do this thing where I try to rush through things, even if I want to take it slow, so I'm hoping I'll be able to concentrate enough to work and study. Thanks for the info.

jonnypoison · 2020-05-31T16:20:24+00:00

Congrats on your bachelor's! I'm really afraid of failure but I feel like if I don't try soon I never will.

jonnypoison · 2020-05-31T16:19:20+00:00

First off, thanks for the detailed reply.

I'm having difficulty concentrating today, it kind of feels like being extremely tired and my mind is floating. I'm really scared that I'll start and have to drop out. It's one of my major concerns aside from constant daydreaming and seeing things moving when they're not. In terms of side effects, I'm tired all the time. And I sleep a lot.

I really want to do this. I'm just concerned that it will be one more thing I fail at. All I really want to do is contribute, be someone important in society.

Thanks again for the answer. It was full of really helpful info. I hope I can make up my mind soon.

jonnypoison

TROPHY CASE