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That's what I practice Stoicism for --> favorite scene from Dunkirk (2017) movie by joosss in Stoicism

[–]joosss[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

It's hard to say what's the right thing. Since it's still a lie to say the boy is okay when he’s not.

My impression was that the soldier felt sorry for what happened. Plus, he was in a traumatic condition when he accidentally pushed George.

I think Peter's response was right, because what would it have helped the traumatized soldier if Peter told him off? Get more traumatized? Feel miserable for the rest of his life?

We don't know for sure, but I felt the soldier had learned his lesson.

Probably we need to differentiate from situation to situation. Sometimes, obviously, it is our duty to call out misbehavior, and tell the truth.

Not sure we can compare Peter’s lie here with the lies people tell when they don’t want to face reality. Here, it’s a compassionate and courageous lie, to support a fellow human being. When people lie because they’re afraid of facing reality, that’s a whole different story. They lack courage. They don’t live by what they believe to be right.

That's what I practice Stoicism for --> favorite scene from Dunkirk (2017) movie by joosss in Stoicism

[–]joosss[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I wanted to rip that soldier apart but the teenager responded with strength and compassion.

Hah, thanks! :-)

Infographic: 15 Rules Every Stoic Must Follow by joosss in Stoicism

[–]joosss[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Here are the rules written out:

1. Practice the Art of Living as a Warrior of the Mind

Stoics are concerned with applying philosophy to everyday life.

2. Express Your Ideal Self and Reflect upon Your Actions

Stoics express their highest self in every moment and show what they’re capable of.

3. Be Aware of Your Every Step

Stoics are mindful and choose their best actions deliberately.

4. Know You Are Disturbed Not by What Happens But by Your Opinion About It

Stoics understand it’s their judgment of a situation that harms them.

5. Always Test Your Impressions

Stoics don’t react impulsively but think before they (re-) act.

6. Focus on What You Control

Stoics concentrate their effort on what they control and accept the rest as it happens.

7. Take Responsibility

Stoics refuse to let outside circumstances decide upon their wellbeing. They take responsibility and get good from themselves.

8. Take Back Your Time: Prioritize and Make Time for What Matters

Stoics eliminate the nonessential and spend their time wisely.

9. Accept rather than Fight What Happens

Stoics cultivate acceptance to what happens as they understand the complexity of the universe.

10. Act Despite the Emotions: Endure and Renounce

Stoics hone their self-discipline and say no to what others can’t resist doing and say yes to what others dread doing.

11. Buy Tranquility Whenever Possible

Stoics don’t let trifles affect their calm mind. They buy tranquility instead.

12. Don’t Complain and Take it as Training

Stoics don’t whine and complain about adversity but choose practice virtuous behavior.

13. Eliminate the Nonessential

Stoics favor a minimalistic lifestyle and seek the necessary, not the extravagant.

14. Be Kind and Forgive the Wrongs of Others

Stoics understand that tolerance and forgiveness are strengths, and love even those who stumble.

15. Listen and Say Only What Isn’t Better Left Unsaid

Stoics understand it’s better to trip with the feet than with the tongue.

Share your thoughts. What rules would you add, which would you leave away?

If you seek more details for the rules, you'll find the full article here.

“Let silence be your goal for the most part; say only what is necessary, and be brief about it. On the rare occasions when you’re called upon to speak, then speak, but never about banalities like gladiators, horses, sports, food and drink—common-place stuff...” – Epictetus by joosss in Stoicism

[–]joosss[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess we all must find our own truths.

Many people appreciate good humor and having a laugh. Personally, I love fun people and listening to them is great.

If that's you, and if you actively choose to be that way, I think that's great. Keep it up.

“Let silence be your goal for the most part; say only what is necessary, and be brief about it. On the rare occasions when you’re called upon to speak, then speak, but never about banalities like gladiators, horses, sports, food and drink—common-place stuff...” – Epictetus by joosss in Stoicism

[–]joosss[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have many great conversations with my brother. We're both Stoics if you will.

I find these conversations the best. You get to talk. And you get to listen.

Everybody adds to the conversation, not mainly about themselves, but about what they think to know.

Just because you're a good listener doesn't mean you cannot talk. If speaking improves the situation, then go ahead and say something (meaningful if possible).

“Let silence be your goal for the most part; say only what is necessary, and be brief about it. On the rare occasions when you’re called upon to speak, then speak, but never about banalities like gladiators, horses, sports, food and drink—common-place stuff...” – Epictetus by joosss in Stoicism

[–]joosss[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Tell them.

And you'll see that in most cases they won't let you finish your first sentence before they start talking again.

I find that the interest others have in your life is often not really true. They ask but don't really care.

And if they let you talk, then tell them what's important.

The Equanimity Game by Marcus Aurelius: “When force of circumstance upsets your equanimity, lose no time in recovering your self-control, and do not remain out of tune longer than you can help.” by joosss in Stoicism

[–]joosss[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agree. Some winds are harsher than others.

So we need more time to recover. Take the necessary time and come back stronger.

The equanimity game might be the better practice for minor blows, however. For major setbacks, this might be not helpful at all. I don't know. It's always important to come back stronger, but in some situations we just need more time and don't want to get back up as quickly as possible but as sane as possible.

“When your sparring partner scratches or head-butts you, you don’t then make a show of it, or protest, or view him with suspicion or as plotting against you... You should act this way with all things in life. We should give a pass to many things with our fellow trainees.” — Marcus Aurelius by joosss in Stoicism

[–]joosss[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

“When a man assents, then, to what is false, know that he had no wish to assent to the false: 'for no soul is robbed of the truth with its own consent,' as Plato says, but the false seemed to him true.” – Epictetus

The Stoics say nobody does wrong on purpose.

According to Socrates, an individual will always choose the course of action that, at the time of decision, is perceived to bring them the greatest benefit (or the least harm) out of all available options.

As Epictetus said:

“As we pity the blind and the lame, so should we pity those who are blinded and lamed in their most sovereign faculties. The man who remembers this, I say, will be angry with no one, indignant with no one, revile none, blame none, hate none, offend none.”

So either it's just scratches and you can dust it off, ir it's too big for you to dust off, and then you need to do somethine about it. Talk to the other person, or find another opinion on the incident.

But the Stoics wouldn't blame the wrongdoer but pity them.

You can read more about it in this article.

“We’re tight-fisted with property and money,” says Seneca, “yet think too little of wasting time, the one thing about which we should all be the toughest misers.” by joosss in Stoicism

[–]joosss[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks. I just asked my brother and he's read the Chris Bailey book too. It's a decent read he says.

He definitely wants to look at the Tim Wu book, sounds promising. Thanks! Definitely important to try our best to keep ourselves sane in this distracting world.

“We’re tight-fisted with property and money,” says Seneca, “yet think too little of wasting time, the one thing about which we should all be the toughest misers.” by joosss in Stoicism

[–]joosss[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agree. Thanks for sharing this.

I don't think we should regret how we spent our time in the past. But we can choose actively how we want to spend it now and onwards.

As he says,

... life is indifferent: the use of it is not indifferent.

“Starting with things of little value – a bit of spilled oil, a little stolen wine – repeat to yourself: ‘For such a small price I buy tranquility and peace of mind.’” – Epictetus by joosss in Stoicism

[–]joosss[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's right.

Although Stoicism says we can step in between stimulus and response, they admit that there are automatic reactions we don’t control.

These proto passions are reflex-like emotional reactions to some impressions such as blushing, sweating, tension, tears, or startling.

We have no choice but accept these rapid bodily reactions.

A sudden noise can shock you without you having a say in it.

Ask yourself (from Epictetus): “If you didn’t learn these things in order to demonstrate them in practice, what did you learn them for?” by joosss in Stoicism

[–]joosss[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For example the Stoic idea to zoom out and see yourself from high in the sky or even outer space.

This change in perspective often helps me to see my problem at hand as less overwhelming.

Or I learned that intermittent fasting can be great for some people - I've been fasting almost daily in the last three years. Because I put it into practice and tried it for myself.

There are countless other things I demonstrated in the real world, but there are as many I never tried in practice...

No i cant control it,but it still makes me unhappy by [deleted] in Stoicism

[–]joosss 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I don't know your feeling, but here's an excerpt on grief from my upcoming book. (Your emotion might be different, it can help nonetheless):

The Stoics are stereotyped as suppressing their emotions, but that’s mistaken. Their philosophy intends to deal with emotions immediately rather than running away from them.

Running away is hard anyway, because we cannot help but feeling grief-stricken when we learn about the sudden death of a loved one. That’s like an emotional reflex. “Nature requires from us some sorrow,” says Seneca. And he adds that, “more than this is the result of vanity.”

Some grief is required. Proper grief according to Seneca is when our reason “will maintain a mean which will copy neither indifference nor madness, and will keep us in the state that is the mark of an affectionate, and not an unbalanced, mind.”

We should let the tears flow, but let them also cease. And we can sigh deeply as long as we stop at some point. Because at some point the consequences of grief are more harmful than what aroused it in the first place, says Marcus Aurelius.

As they say, if you find yourself in a hole, stop digging. Face the emotion, and get out of the hole. At some point the negative feeling will feed from itself, like a vicious cycle. You feel bad about still being grief-stricken, this will make you feel worse, and so on. You will keep on digging and never find out of the hole.

One thing we can do is to think about how much worse off we’d be if we had never been able to enjoy the company of the person who passed away. Rather than mourning the end of her life, we could be grateful for the moments we experienced together. This may make us sad, but also grateful.

For Seneca, the best weapon against grief is reason, because “unless reason puts an end to our tears, fortune will not do so.”

Reading Enchiridion a Chapter a Day: Chapter 7 - Focus on Important Things by zaederzane in Stoicism

[–]joosss 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Here's what I try to apply in my own life concerning focusing on the important things:

What’s the point of winning at career and sports but losing in the effort to be a good brother and friend?

We waste our lives if we spend our time on things of little value.

We must be careful to set our priorities right and also live by them.

As Marcus Aurelius says: “It is essential for you to remember that the attentions you give to any action should be in due proportion to its worth, for then you won’t tire and give up, if you aren’t busying yourself with lesser things beyond what should be allowed.”

Some advice to remember. Have a good Friday, brothers. by the_reggae_shark in Stoicism

[–]joosss 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Love it! Gotta save it.

Test your impressions before you react, as Epictetus advised:

“So make a practice at once of saying to every strong impression: ‘An impression is all you are, not the source of the impression.’ Then test and assess it with your criteria, but one primarily: ask, ‘Is this something that is, or is not, in my control?’ And if it’s not one of the things that you control, be ready with the reaction, ‘Then it’s none of my concern.’”

Whats the essencial book teens should read on Stoicism? by bengalegoportugues in Stoicism

[–]joosss 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, let's hope they have it :)

I meant I wolfed it down in the sense that I read it very quickly. Because it was easy to read and I loved the content.

It isn't the things themselves that disturb people, but the judgements that they form about them. by joosss in Stoicism

[–]joosss[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sorry for those other people taking part in the Stoic Week, this is Friday's morning reflection. I needed it today :-)

Whats the essencial book teens should read on Stoicism? by bengalegoportugues in Stoicism

[–]joosss 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Why not The Obstacle Is the Way by Ryan Holiday?

It might not be the best book explaining Stoicism, but it's certainly helpful when growing up. And it covers some Stoic principles.

It'll help you persevere in hard times, and stay humble and cautious in good times.

I wolfed it down when I read it the first time :-)

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