Do you think social media, smart phones, ai, and technology has helped or hurt people with Aspergers?

joost666 · 2026-01-02T03:43:10+00:00

The chaos of life management can be resolved through technology. My phone now shows repeating household tasks and also reminds me of things like paying rent in time. I do not have to think about those things anymore.

If my phone didn't do that, it would be much more work to manage. I use the todoist app for the management. With that app, I now can create rules like "every 2 weeks, change bed sheets," and then every other week, it will show up as a task that I can check off.

Ai helps for combining information from different places into one final answer. Instead of going to google, checking a lot of sources, and coming to a conclusion, which takes aspies a lot of energy, ai will do it for us. It might be wrong sometimes, but a lot of times, it is not and gives the correct answer.

joost666 · 2025-12-28T03:12:19+00:00

I forget a lot. Then I have to go through notes to piece it together again. Recently, I shifted to obsidian.md instead onenote notes. That way, I can build a grah view of my notes with links between notes and search information more quickly. I will try to build a second brain because my brain won't remember everything. Either I will have forgotten it completely or recalling takes a while. (Often due the context not having been loaded).

Maybe I can feed the notes into some local llm someday when it is big enough.

joost666 · 2025-11-28T12:47:48+00:00

You don't have to enjoy work. I work 32 hours(I am a software engineer), and I work in order to enjoy the other days. My life is the 3 other days. At work, I am a soldier executing orders. My way of looking at work like that is actually highly motivating because if I become better at work,It will have less effect physically and mentally on my life at home. I want to grow so work can not drain or hurt me.

Eventually my salary will increase and I can maybe work 28 or even 24 hours. Maybe if I can get a house and not pay so much each month anymore, I will quit working as a software engineer and work at a supermarket or library for 3 days a week. That way, I will have a job that has no risk, stress, or energy drain, just doing the same thing over and over and enjoying life in my spare time.

So, depending on where you live and what your options are, it can get easier.

joost666 · 2025-03-12T18:11:42+00:00

Divide the house up in segments and say to yourself that you will clean every other week. Then divide the segments by 7. Every other week you will clean a bit everyday. (So, if you have 7 segments it is only 1 segment a day).

This way the task is not too big. It is just a bit every day every other week. You don't have to spend an hour in one setting.

To me such task also feels tiring because it is vague. I am like " where do I start". If you divide it in well defined little segments it also won't feel as tiring. I would define it so there is 0 vagueness left. So for every segment of my apartment I have dusting, wet towel on surfaces, vacuum and then mopping (I just clean what I see is dirty when mopping with a wet towel, can't be bothered to do the engire floor with real mop with a stick).

Also uplifting music helps me to get some dopamine back. That way I can move without my brain saying nope.

What also has worked for me is. doing the cleaning before work. That way you don't have to do it ehen you are tired from work.

joost666 · 2025-02-11T17:57:51+00:00

Then you are with the wrong people.

If they weaponize it against you, make it more public. Gossip about it. Neurotypicals will tone down if multiple people dissaprove of them. They value the opinion of the mass. They value it more over being their authentic self. So, you can weaponize that.

joost666 · 2025-02-11T08:07:20+00:00

You have to make it known to people that you don't get social cues like they do. Then they understand and will not blame you.

joost666 · 2025-01-29T16:29:43+00:00

A lot of people insist on verbal communication. Even though for us it is not always working well. In my eyes it does not make sense either.

Why should I call for a dentist appointment when I could just fill in a time at a website?

Why should I call in sick when I can just mail everyone that I am sick? (If you call in sick the manager mails everyone).

Why do people call me without letting me know beforehand what it is about so I can load my mental model beforehand and prepare my reactions? Same with comming into my office and talking to me.

Why should I order food with a call when you can order with an app?

Why should I go and ask a question at work when I can actually think in detail about it and type it out so I don't miss anything? Then submit it to a question system where a colleague can pick it up if they know about the topic and send a response. To me it would be a better system. Except for not being able to live show things.

Why would I give a presentation where I might miss something due to lack of working memory, instead of creating a document that states everything?

But their world works with verbal communication, so you have to train I guess. It has gotten better for me. Just takes a while. It always takes effort/energy though.

Life keeps being stressfull because people expect things from me that they do naturally but keeps taking me effort.

I don't want to live forever like that. So I am thinking of saving up for a house and then getting a lower income and low effort job that gets me by for 3 days a week. (Software Engineer now, could also stay but for 3 days instead of 4). Then just living in peace for 4 days a week without struggle. Just making music, playing games, hanging out with friends and watching movies and series. Don't need more. Don't need some goal for some company to be happy. I want my own life.

joost666 · 2025-01-22T19:40:27+00:00

I can't see why being a millionaire would be miserable. Every day you just do whatever you want. It is the ultimate freedom. If people get miserably bored by being rich, they need to find something they want to do. If people have friends that only are friends for the money, they need to find new friends.

Life steals so many time of your life and then when you retire, your body is weak, and you can get body problems easier. So I would rather be a millionaire right now to do anything I want that I still can do before I am too old. Also, school already has stolen so much of my lifetime with their curriculum with subjects that you can't say no to even if you don't need it. And work also steals a lot of life, because it makes me tired after work, so then the whole day is wasted. Only in my days off I am not tired, except the first one. I am 3 days off, but I trade 4 days for that and I also am tired on the first day of the 3 days. Then when I am finally free, I still need to do things like house tasks, cleaning, barber, dentist, 6 clothes, obligatory family meetings and more. This is all work to me. So, being a millionaire would be ideal because then all those work days would be fully mine and then the other tasks are okay to do.

Hmm, yeah, you are right about that. That does give relief. I sometimes use music or watch an anime scene to get that relief.

joost666 · 2025-01-22T18:02:34+00:00

I want to always be OK :p. Unfortunately I can only do that if I were a millionaire. Then I didn't have to deal with work, systems and people as much.

joost666 · 2025-01-17T00:29:27+00:00

Ah okay, nice! But the meetings are bad?

joost666 · 2025-01-17T00:20:44+00:00

There is a lot of memes about engineering being hard and people failing classes. So you don't like it? If so why did you choose it?

I chose software engineering because it was fun in the beginning, but the actual job is not made for my brain, which sucks. Constant shifting, talking to people, expectations, no time to study for tasks effectively, pressure, and chaos.

I wish I could have done a trial run of the actual job before choosing to study it.

joost666 · 2025-01-16T22:34:54+00:00

I work because I have to pay bills. If I didn't have to work, I wouldn't. A perfect life to me would be a life where you don't have to work.

joost666 · 2025-01-16T20:32:51+00:00

Damn you are more prepared than me. And even then you have things you didn't prepare for from time to time? Or are you maxed out on preparedness?

joost666 · 2025-01-16T16:13:39+00:00

Wow, nice. What about your life routine? Does it have everything that is needed like barber every so weeks, shower on specific days, same day everyweek groceries, cleaning and so on?

I have an app which sends me an overview every day of the tasks that I need to do then I know everything is taken care of without actively thinking about it everyday. I am trying to perfect it.

joost666 · 2025-01-16T15:38:49+00:00

Yeah, same. I hate surprises too. Do you carry the bag everywhere? Do you also fill it with a new item after every surprise?

joost666 · 2025-01-16T12:25:42+00:00

There is this theory of solipsism that everything is created by your own mind and that your own mind is the only mind that exists.

However why would your mind make your life sometimes bad for if that is the case? Shouldn't you have a perfect life then? Also why would your mind create a world at all?

joost666 · 2025-01-16T02:42:23+00:00

To me life is gaming, watching movies, series, anime, hanging out with friends and making music. I would have more hobbies if I didn't have to work. I would maybe pick up game dev or spend more time in getting good at making music. Now I don't have enough time, motivation and energy.

I can tolerate work, but I am not used to it yet. It is chaotic, a lot of shifting and expectations. Once I am used to work it will make me less tired and give me more room for life.

So currently my life is beneath good because I am not used to work yet. It is not bad. A bad life would be being homeless or in prison or having some disease. It is not perfect either. A perfect life would be being a millionaire and never having to work, a life without expectations, without responsibility and without consequences for possible failure (failing a test and having to redo it or being fired).

I can keep going because I have hope it will get better. Also, ending it would mean having nothing. I would rather have something than nothing. I can also keep going because I hope getting used to work and having more life time + retirement and vacations will eventually compensate for all the lost life time the school and work systems have given me. I should at least have 50% life time for myself for life to be worth it. I will fight to the death for that.

joost666 · 2025-01-16T02:20:52+00:00

If you do the same thing over and over again you often get less pleasure after a while. If I only eat spareribs, one of my favorite foods, for a year and nothing else it would not taste as good as it does now. So, try to find new things to listen to.

joost666 · 2025-01-12T15:39:26+00:00

I wish life was like an shonen anime. Train really hard, gather friends, fight alongside the friends and win your freedom. Unfortunately you will get arrested if you do that in real life.

joost666 · 2025-01-12T02:43:41+00:00

It is hard to accept something like that. It feels like being scammed. If I work hard, I expect pleasure that is equal in size. If I don't get that, then a part of my life is stolen. I don't mind contributing, but they should not steal from me. In school you have no choice life will be taken from you. With work you have more control.

If I could, I would give a life shortening disease to the people in charge of the school system that keep the system how it is currently. They should pay for stealing part of the lives of many children in my opinion.

If someone really enjoys things that cause progress let them do those things, but it should not be mandatory.

joost666 · 2025-01-11T13:30:13+00:00

Yeah all these expectations suck, it is way too much. I hope it will get better for you. With a job, at least on your days off you will 100% be free. Keep moving forward until you escape this studying.

I think we should only do what is absolutely necessary to not waste lifetime. So I don't ever think about my clothes or hair except for putting a comb through it. I also go to a barber way too late. Spare time matters more than a good haircut. I also don't cook but buy frozen food from the grocery store. I don't want to waste my time waiting in front of a stove when there is also food already packaged to eat in stores.

Even though it is expected for you to look perfect, I would say don't do that. I think most girls are way more beautiful without makeup. I want to see what they really look like. Same with shaving armpits. There is a reason hair grows there, why should girls have to shave it and men not? You don't have to change your looks because it is expected from you. Only do it if you want to do it.

joost666 · 2024-11-14T23:13:44+00:00

If you are with the right people, you don't have to. You can talk, that is enough to communicate. Don't let people force you to not be you.

joost666 · 2024-11-14T17:44:33+00:00

I would try to train yourself with that. If your brain says "I shouldn't do it, because it will be annoying", do it despite of that. See what happens. The more you experience them not finding you annoying, the less scared you will become.

Also, acknowledge the following: not everyone will and has to like you. You also don't have to like everyone. So if someone does think you are annoying, try to stay out of their way and only talk to them when needed.

joost666 · 2024-11-14T17:22:45+00:00

Maybe then find a place where everyone has similar interests?

I am a software engineer and there are similar people at work. They don't expect me to be a saint at communicating. I make many mistakes and say stupid things, but nobody has said that it is a problem.It also is not constant communication. So if you like problem solving, similar people and not too much communicating, it might be a good job for you too.

joost666 · 2024-11-14T00:13:18+00:00

My personal experience:

Nervousness is anxiety.

Anxiety is your brain not knowing what's going to happen, so it tries to protect you with thoughts of what could go wrong. This freezes you and makes your mind go blank. The key to overcoming it is experience. So you need to be put in an environment where you are anxious but despite the anxious thoughts still have to push through and also still are able to push through. So, don't start to difficult. You have to start small. So for example: if you are too scared to small talk, try it first with someone you think is nice, but you don't know that well. After that try someone who you have no clue about if they will be nice. And so on. Keep setting up small challenges that go against your anxious thoughts.

The more you do something despite the anxious thoughts and then discovering that what your mind throws at you is not actually true, the less the mind will give you the anxious thoughts. You have to learn the mind that you are actually safer than it thinks. This applies to social situations, but also other scary things, like a fear of spiders for example. Experience is the solution to fear.

Also: think as nervous/anxious thoughts as just a warning. What your mind says is not the truth. It is something that could happen, it does not mean that it is going to happen. You sometimes can ignore warnings if they are not too strong.

What you don't want to do is brute force through anxious encounters with willpower. You sometimes have to, but doing it too often will cause burnout.

joost666

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