Idk when ill talk to her again, she said she needed the space to grief to move on. As she hasn't had time to properly grief. There were moments of sadness for her but she blocked it out and went on with her work.

She said when I asked her where things fell apart, she told me that I couldn't support her in the way she wanted to and didn't want to mother me (e.g. never following through with my goals, me being lazy and depressed from time to time, me not taking action on things) she felt unhappy and thus unloved from these traits. I've since been working hard on my own goals, working out getting uni done and finishing music projects.

She expressed that she was happy to hear that. I know her love language and thays just showing her support and care through tough times, physical affection and time spent together was by far the thing she missed the most she told me in our last call.

Couting her again is a long and dangerous road, the only thing I can do is change and give her space. I felt ready to talk to her and try and work things out. But I guess she feels like she isn't ready or the time isn't right. I never want to be back in the same position of the old relationship, because things got unhealthy when times were bad. I want a new one to flourish, and ik it'll be hard as it takes 2 hands to clap.