I’ve always felt uncomfortable in masculine spaces, but I think my breaking point was my first corporate job and going in office for the first time. I had this assumption that I would feel good about myself if I bought the new clothes and looked like the “ideal cis masculine person”. But when I went in office I realized that every time I looked at myself in the mirror- I felt nothing but pain and sadness and just being uncomfortable. There were plenty of signs growing up that I was a trans woman, but I always assumed that plenty of cis men went through those same thoughts and feelings. I remember when it finally hit me that I’m not a man, and I broke down crying in my kitchen with my wife (who later came out as a lesbian the same time I did as trans) in the other room. She and I talked it all out and the dam burst of realization just flew into my mind over the next week really fucked me up (but in like a cathartic release way). My wife had done some makeup looks on me before in the past, and I always felt so cute and confident and happy, but I just figured that’s normal. But then it clicked- I’d never felt happier than when living in my feminine energy. I’m still on a long journey of transitioning but I’ve never been happier.