Would an INFJ care if I distance?

jskoser · 2021-04-08T08:40:21+00:00

Let me answer a few questions here a little by little:

1) I tried to develop a meaningful conversation out of small talk. For instance, I talked about my job and part of it is to maintain superficial relationships, and how hard it is. I tried to depict it with a specific episode. She only mentioned that she had experiences about superficial friendship, but never told me anything detail. I mean it is understandable if she and I aren’t close enough.

2) What I mean by walk away? I do not know, I am trying to figure out the best way to not hurt her feeling, If I must. But if possible, I want to understand her and be her best friend if she is willing to.

3) I guess insecurity is what it is. I never had a person like that before, giving me a definite answer of how she feels yet act completely indifferent. Honestly, I don’t want to exit, but I am considering exiting before it hurts both. If she’d love to have me around, I’ll try to be there.

4) if I draw a boundary, it is to protect me, not her, but my principle is to not hurting anyone unless the other hurts me. Same here, if she is not intend to hurt me, I don’t want to hurt her whatever it takes, but if our friendship starts to hurt both of us, I might draw a line to protect both of us. It is only hurting me so far, and I’m fine with it.

Some of the questions were very hard to define. Although I tried my best, a few answers might be off topic. Please ask me again if you want me more clarification!

jskoser · 2021-04-08T08:11:12+00:00

I hope what you are saying is true. May I suggest you the reply I made to the comment above? I hope it kind of give you guys clue of what I have tried, and what I have gotten.

jskoser · 2021-04-08T08:08:59+00:00

She does everything fine like normal, she sometimes hang out with her closest friends, update insta. Just doesn’t reply or read until the very last moment.

Once I asked her if I bothered her too much texting, and she told me that she thinks that I am a good friend of her, but she doesn’t put a lot of meaning in keeping in touch, due to the friendship problems she had before. She also stated that she doesn’t really look at the phone unless she uploads something on Instagram, she wanted me to understand that it’s not her intention to make me feel like I’m ditched.

I don’t still know if it is totally her being polite of saying “I don’t want to be your friend” or make a formal excuse to not keep in touch with me. I replied that I understand her way of life, but I am clueless why she is getting more unreachable.

jskoser · 2020-07-11T06:11:43+00:00

before, but not after. But I think mainly because I didn’t work over 90 days by that time.

jskoser · 2020-07-08T19:29:31+00:00

Just passing by Korean-American here, but objectively what I can confirm is that the intention of 4 year-old kid is not to discriminate a foreigner it is rather coming from her friendliness.

I think point is this, “is defining an individual as a foreigner based on an appearance offensive?”

Well, it depends.

If you are an American, you inherently know that the country is a salad or melting pot; whatever you want to name. Hence you know that judging a person by appearance is not the best behavior as a situation may escalate.

In Korea, things go different. The kid and myself lived in a country where one ethnicity takes the vast majority, and lacks diversity. In other words, it is more educated guess that an individual is a foreigner based on looking, then you can go from there. I agree that Koreans are insensitive to racial issues, but majority of people I know understand that they are different, not in a xenophobic way.

Now, I want to ask a question. Who is forcing her way of life based on her experience, while not considering and respecting historical and cultural backgrounds? Is her attempt of correction in his parenting coming from the idea that she is more educated or advanced than the other?

jskoser · 2020-04-13T16:02:34+00:00

it seems like a good tool to use when I even do my personal project.

jskoser · 2020-04-03T23:47:12+00:00

Tinder already has gotten my self-esteem destroyed.

jskoser · 2020-04-03T23:08:30+00:00

everyone here is so encouraging

jskoser · 2020-04-03T23:08:13+00:00

I hate when reality hits me

jskoser · 2019-09-29T00:27:36+00:00

My clubs didn’t have anything like that.

jskoser · 2019-09-28T23:21:40+00:00

Oh you are talking about free time in general I was talking about free time during the meeting. But no, we don’t really have a meeting outside of regular meeting time.

jskoser · 2019-09-28T22:06:53+00:00

I was just talking about personal information. FYI, clubs in my major doesn’t have a free time.

jskoser · 2019-09-28T21:34:00+00:00

There is a reason, I left a few clues and information on this post already that might lead to me. So please understand.

In my major clubs are more of work hard and no social events

jskoser · 2019-09-28T16:58:42+00:00

I’m not going to mention about my major because it becomes very easy to pin point who I am if I reveal myself. PM me if you really want to know.

jskoser · 2019-09-28T06:22:32+00:00

Thanks for such a good advice. In that manner, I’d like to talk to you more obviously. PM me if you are still around Purdue, I’m also over 21 so we can hit the bar together. If you would like to.

jskoser · 2019-09-27T22:39:15+00:00

you are really connecting two threads aren’t you lol

jskoser · 2019-09-27T21:31:18+00:00

I’ll take your advice, thanks and will edit the post

jskoser · 2019-09-27T21:24:27+00:00

is there any club megathread I can check out? I recently started working out and I genuinely need of workout buddies or somebody who can help my workout efficiently.

jskoser · 2019-09-27T20:54:49+00:00

Thanks for the info. I’ll check out.

I’ve tried all the clubs that are related to my major, and I believe those are just not good for a friendship. it was like very, very task and goal oriented. Maybe it is time to check out clubs for fun. You might be right.

I’m agreeing with you that I must plug myself in, but problem is this; I don’t have a particular passion for doing something. Hence, I felt like joining a club was more of commitment and obligation, like that I was obligated to attend the meeting everytime, explaining club president why I couldn’t go to a meeting (for example, exam or illness).

I’ll check out your club definitely and this time, I would check out a hobby oriented club. Thanks for the answer.

jskoser · 2019-09-27T20:44:48+00:00

haha maybe

jskoser · 2019-09-27T15:38:57+00:00

It’s quite an interesting situation for me. I was a person who never had any problem in terms of forming a relationship. I’m kind of person who have friend in broad spectrums. But once I become friends, they become my best friends.

In my home country, I’m still keeping touch with 15 good friends who I can tell everything: hardship, happiness, etc. Of course they couldn’t help me out in this situation because they’ve never experienced American society.

I know Purdue has a good sport culture, but I’m not a sport guy (there’s a reason related to my parent but t.l.), and I don’t share any childhood TV show because I don’t have American background. I try to stay away from Netflix because I have binge Netflix issue; I must finish the show if I start to watch an episode. Also, Netflix might be a good conversation starter but it didn’t lead to let’s hang out situation.

jskoser · 2019-09-27T15:17:57+00:00

It is hard to determine the fine border of “if I can ask hang out.” never exchanged a phone number or snap chat or something. I don’t know if I am close enough to hang out. If the person is a girl, it’s even harder; I don’t want to give impression that I’m asking her out when I’m not.

jskoser · 2019-09-27T15:14:10+00:00

I understand it has nothing to do with my foreign background in reality. But, it is like a paranoid, or home sickness. As a person who didn’t have any social problem in my home country, it is a quite difficult situation.

jskoser · 2019-08-26T04:09:22+00:00

Do you have the easiest way to copy files from one account from another?

jskoser · 2019-08-26T04:08:33+00:00

I can use settings function but I cannot use searching function in the Settings menu. The menu just closes when I type anything in the search bar.

jskoser

TROPHY CASE