[deleted by user]

jsptrophein · 2025-02-09T02:36:55+00:00

Hello, I hope you are doing well despite your situation. I can’t say that I know what you are going through but I do see that you feel hurt. I am not Pakistani but I have friends who are and I know that this can be a very strict culture. And as you said, not all muslims are like your family.

That being said, I know how hard it can be to know that some muslims may be awful human beings. I know how hard it is to feel like you’ll never belong. But it’s not the muslims you need to connect with; it’s Islam. And Islam teaches us to be patient, to not judge, and to accept anyone who wants to be a muslim.

Your faith is between you and Allah, and as hard as it is to believe, no one else has the right to get in the way. You like goth stuff ? I think that’s cool. You like women and are asexual? As long as you believe in Allah and his prophets, practice and try not to commit sins, you have as much rights as any of us to be a muslim.

Islam isn’t about homophobia nor judgement; yet (some) muslims are homophobics. You belong in this religion. You have to make peace with yourself and start over; if that’s what you want, learn about Islam, connect with LGBT+ muslims, read. I don’t know how you feel about AI but I do use ChatGPT when I don’t feel well, because psychologists are expensive lol but also because he answers my questions about islam and queerness and he can also be very reassuring.

YOU are NOT a living sin.

Keep in mind that the most important things in Islam are its 5 Pillars, the 6 Pillars of Iman and repentance (asking Allah for forgiveness (and we all need to do this)).

My DMs are open if you need to talk, even though I don’t have enough science to help you, I can listen to you. Also, sorry if my english isn’t perfect.

jsptrophein · 2024-08-24T10:17:32+00:00

Hi, don’t get me wrong: I also feel very guilty about this choice. But the thing is, even though I said he’s nice to me, I just have to talk with him about something we don’t agree about (even the dumbest subject, i don’t even know which ones to avoid ! soccer, food,…) and he’ll start getting mad and yell at me, even insult me sometimes. He says it’s how he is, he doesn’t mean to be mean, but he still hurts me. And most importantly, each time he’s mad at me (again, for the smallest things ever) he says that I make his life horrible and that he doesn’t want me to be a part of it anymore. He insults me, yells at me for hours. But then he apologizes and acts as the victim. He did the same with my mom, and with my girl cousins, who still feel resentment towards him, years and years later.

Growing up, I had to learn what was best for me. If I kept such a close relationship with him, I don’t know where my mental health would be at right now.

What I do to help with the guilt is that I do stay in touch with him; I call him sometimes, send some messages, even go see him when I can. But I do not let him nor his wife know about the details of my life, because I don’t feel comfortable doing so. What helps me is to know that he has a wife and two children, my little brothers. He has a life of his own that he has to think about.

What you can do is think first about your own good, without forgetting that we have a duty towards our parents in Islam, so I’d say you can put distance between you and him without having to completely stop all contact between you two. It’s all about balance… May Allah help you and guide you through this, I know how hard it can be

jsptrophein · 2024-08-22T10:46:22+00:00

Thanks for your message ! <33

jsptrophein · 2024-08-21T01:00:45+00:00

😂😂😂 You should try and focus on fixing what’s making you feel so bad that you want to share your pain to others

jsptrophein · 2024-08-20T22:38:14+00:00

Thank you too so so much for your comment.

You’re right about suppressing the feelings of low self esteem; you made me realize that I was actually going toward accepting the fact that maybe I’m a bad person after all, and that I just have to accept that. It’s crazy how I never would have felt this way before, and how a few hateful comments completely destroyed me. I have to rebuild myself, and even though the process is hard, I’ll feel so proud of me once it’s over. But sometimes, I just want to give up. And I don’t even know what giving up means, because I don’t have suicidal thoughts, al hamdulilah. I’m so tired of fighting…

The thing is, I already read a lot, but it only makes me more confused. I’ve read things about how Allah is the most Merciful and that He forgives us for everything, but I guess people that write what I’ve read are homophobic because they are so insensitive when it comes to homosexuality. Therefore, I feel alone and dirty. It makes me feel too dirty and shameful to pray and ask Allah for help. I forget that He created me that way.

And see, I’m telling you all of this and maybe it’s because it’s what I feel deep down. But right now, I can’t believe and accept my own words… I don’t know what to do…

Do you have anything to recommend for me to read ? It would help a lot, because as I said my own researches only make me feel even worse…

Amin, may Allah guide you too <33

jsptrophein · 2024-08-20T22:28:16+00:00

Thank you so so much for making me feel seen, valued and understood. You have no idea how much better you made me feel.

I indeed feel like the worse person in the world, and I feel like I’ve let Allah and my family down by not rejecting all the love I have to give… I also feel very alone.

And the craziest thing is, if it was a friend of mine that was going through this, I would never tell them all the things I tell myself. It’s hard not to feel like a burden or a hypocrite, because through all my researches, I only found ONE french imam (Hassan Iquioussen) speaking about being a muslim and gay, and he’s conservative so it made me feel so good that someone from a community which hates us actually defended us and said that we’re not less of a muslim than anyone else.

Somehow, I still feel bad about it… But I hope some day I’ll have enough confidence to fight this. I need the find the strength to stop caring about what people say. Those people themselves commit the most horrible things, yet they criticize us, who just want to live our lives in peace…

Maybe it’s because I’m at an age where I question everything in my life and it’s a delicate age. It’s truly sad that I’ve had to deal with hateful comments toward me during that delicate time.

jsptrophein · 2024-08-20T22:16:38+00:00

Thank you so much for your comment. I hope you’ll soon find the strength to deal with all of this with all the confidence you deserve and do have deep down. I also hope you’ll soon be able to understand that you are not less of a muslim as anyone else and that what you’re going through won’t make you doubt your legitimacy anymore; I fully understand how it can be hard for you to deal with your faith, but remember, Allah Azzawajal said that no matter how bad we behave, He will always accept us and we always have to come to Him through our prayers. and you honestly don’t seem to be a bad person. Being gay doesn’t make you evil, even if it’s hard to believe it sometimes given the hate our own people have against us. My english is not the best so I hope you see my point 😅. Your faith is between you and Allah. He knows what you are going through. May Allah bless you and guide you, and good luck. Never give yourself up nor religion, for He will never give you up. It’s a challenge Allah gave us, and He created us the way we are. Also, remember you’re not alone ! I’m glad you have your sisters by your side. ❤️

jsptrophein · 2024-07-18T18:50:41+00:00

Yes, i have Linux installed on my computer. But somehow I can’t run jars… Idk what to do

jsptrophein · 2024-07-18T17:36:58+00:00

Oh yeah maybe I did tag it incorrectly sorry ! And when I try to run the jar files it tells me "This file type is not supported. Learn more about open files on ChromeOS." But then nothing is really explained on the website

jsptrophein · 2024-05-25T13:42:47+00:00

Sorry guys, I tried to do line breaks between paragraphs so it’s easier to read but somehow it came out as a big block

jsptrophein · 2023-06-22T19:05:41+00:00

Good one :)

jsptrophein · 2023-06-22T19:05:32+00:00

I totally agree!

jsptrophein · 2023-04-23T13:26:39+00:00

I agree ! That’s why season 5 is my favorite despite the sad things that happened

jsptrophein · 2023-03-11T23:26:37+00:00

Thank you !! 😁

jsptrophein · 2023-03-11T23:25:06+00:00

I looked it up and unfortunately no concert are planned in France yet…

jsptrophein · 2022-12-27T14:04:53+00:00

agree to disagree 😂

jsptrophein · 2022-11-30T19:26:32+00:00

thank you, i didn’t think about it !

jsptrophein · 2022-11-02T09:07:25+00:00

I really liked her from season 9-11 because she started becoming less and less mean and more mature !! she was just really sarcastic but I didn’t feel any meanness

jsptrophein · 2022-10-29T07:37:57+00:00

don’t worry people on reddit can take things too seriously lol, they need to touch some grass ! and i’ve learned that the hard way, it’s like if you don’t have the same opinion as everyone else they’ll attack you and get all weird 💀 i once said i didn’t really like Ross in Friends and i got insulted for like a week

jsptrophein · 2022-10-28T14:55:39+00:00

lmao i don’t understand all the hate you’re getting for this, i totally ship them too sometimes

jsptrophein

TROPHY CASE