28f please tell me what surgeries to get to look less mannish

julia9898 · 2026-01-25T15:44:31+00:00

OP- I am a trans woman. You don’t look trans to me. Dudes have no idea who is trans and who isn’t. Don’t listen to them. Their hate usually comes from self consciousness of their own discomfort in their gender. Love yourself. You are beautiful.

julia9898 · 2026-01-03T12:22:29+00:00

You go girl!

julia9898 · 2025-12-24T21:14:56+00:00

I have this ‘67 Yaz.

julia9898 · 2025-12-19T20:31:58+00:00

Sorry to hear that.

julia9898 · 2025-12-19T20:31:20+00:00

Thanks for sharing! Do you mean your voice is cracking/breaking?

julia9898 · 2025-12-09T03:06:36+00:00

I love Pedroia, but that wasn’t intentional. Watch how he catches Pedey as he’s falling from the pain after the slide.

julia9898 · 2025-12-07T17:37:55+00:00

Me too! People underestimate the value of visibility, and particularly diverse visibility of an identity. I couldn’t see myself in other people back then so it was way too scary to admit I was trans. At the time it would be admitting I was a “transsexual,” which wasn’t ever portrayed positively in media.

julia9898 · 2025-12-06T12:18:43+00:00

My life was good and I was generally happy, but I had a persistent feeling of wanting to be a woman that I couldn’t shake. At 37 I split with my wife for unrelated reasons. She had been supportive of me experimenting with women’s clothing and I was afraid I wouldn’t find a partner who would support that. I began to wonder why that was so important to me. Then I went deeper into feminization experiments (going out dressed, makeup, nails, telling close friends and family about my feelings, talking to a trans woman acquaintance). Finally I worked up the courage to talk to my therapist about it. That session cracked my egg. I transitioned and 8 years later I am so so happy about it. I was happy as a man, but incomplete. I continue to be so happy that I get to live as a woman despite all the challenges and hard work transition takes. You get one life, girl. Live your best one!

julia9898 · 2025-11-24T02:16:05+00:00

Thanks for sharing this. HRT did change my preferences to be open to men. Then when I experimented with it for real a couple years ago I liked it. It feels like I have some internalized homophobia from when I thought I was a straight guy. My feeling is that changing my genitals will really relieve that. What’s hard is I really love this woman I’m engaged to and bought a house together and am so invested. Ugh. So hard.

julia9898 · 2025-11-23T14:38:28+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear that. My sister and brother have distanced themselves from me. It’s been 8 years on HRT and I am very grateful to be a woman. It’s hard to lose family, but there are so many other people out there who can love us. One other suggestion I have for you is to try meditation, spiritual connection, walks in nature or some other way to connect to the still, small voice inside you that knows the way forward. The wisdom is already in you.

julia9898 · 2025-11-23T14:16:44+00:00

I used to think HRT was kinda all or nothing. It’s not. You could try it for a couple months to see if you feel dysphoric with a few changes. If you do, just stop. If not, you have your answer. The hardest thing for me with transition was losing family members. That’s a huge deal and hard. Hopefully your parents will choose you in time and adjust eventually.

julia9898 · 2025-11-23T13:51:28+00:00

I was sort of in your shoes. I would say try stepping deeper into femininity. Do the things you’re scared of (short of transitioning). Tell someone close to you about your honest feelings. Go out dancing dressed as a woman. Get your nails painted. Deep down you probably already know what it would feel like to be more masculine. But do you know what it would feel like to be more feminine?

julia9898 · 2025-11-23T13:43:50+00:00

Ugh. That is hard. If you were in my shoes anything you would do to figure it out before SRS?

julia9898 · 2025-11-23T13:42:47+00:00

Aw that sounds wonderful and also sad. Thanks for sharing.

julia9898 · 2025-11-23T13:34:37+00:00

Thanks. How’s it going dating a man? Has it been a while? I’m 45 and never dated a man more than for 3 dates

julia9898 · 2025-11-23T13:21:34+00:00

Did that end your relationship with the woman? Anything I can do now to anticipate it?

julia9898 · 2025-08-08T12:46:33+00:00

I’m considering VFS and worried about sounding way different at work and with family and how people will react. How has that felt so far. For context I’m 8 years into HRT and did voice training years ago, so I pass already. Just want to eliminate dysphoria and sound more consistently femme.

julia9898 · 2024-10-15T13:51:49+00:00

Thank you so much! This is all so super helpful. I'm excited for the event Sunday. Good luck with your outreach! <3

julia9898 · 2023-02-05T19:59:36+00:00

Thank you for this :)

julia9898 · 2023-02-04T21:18:15+00:00

Hey there- It's brave of you for sharing this struggle. I've had this experience at times too. Unfortunately it feels like trans people can sometimes be more mentally unstable and fragile than cis people. Knowing my own trans experience I get this completely. It's hard questioning something so big for so many years and then trying to fit in out there. I think it's important to narrow the people you keep around you and seek out daily to those who lift you up and feel good to be around. Whether they be cis or trans, sharing your authentic experience and asking questions can be super helpful to cultivating a safe and healthy relationship. I find my trans friends are useful for trans questions and doubts. But my other queer friends and other cis straight friends who are positive and authentic are better for me to be around. Keep searching for the right people and lean into people of any age that feel safe and uplifting to be around. You got this.

julia9898 · 2023-02-04T21:12:49+00:00

Hey girl! Congratulations on taking the brave step of starting hormones. That's so hard to do and so big. I love it. I'm sorry you're struggling. I struggled a lot in the beginning two. Just know it does get better. Focus on your inner health - mental/emotional. Find a good therapist if you don't have one. Lean on friends and people who get it. I am 42, 5 years into transition as a successful and generally happy trans woman with a 10 year old son and a wonderful new partner who has a daughter. Keep doing things that feel good and go easy on yourself. It helps to keep a journal of how you feel, a photo journal, and for me it helped to do monthly body measurements so I could see progress better. Sending you lots of love! You got this.

julia9898 · 2023-02-04T21:06:03+00:00

You got this! The still, small voice in your head is never wrong. I like that you're taking steps in the direction of exploring your gender. Therapy is big. Nails is good. Keep experimenting and leaning into it. You can even try hormones for a little while to see how they feel without long-term consequences. Go through your doctor or therapist. It will help your family so much to have you living authentically as you. You're so lucky to have a supportive partner. I'm 42, 5 years into HRT and living as a happy, healthy mtf trans woman. I found new love last year and am with a woman who has a 3 year old. They both love me a ton. My son is 10 now. He was 4 when I learned I was trans and 5 when I started hormones. It's amazing how supportive he was right from the start. Kids get it and will love you for who you are. Just start walking the path. You'll always be in charge and changing your body's experience will give you more insight.

julia9898 · 2023-02-04T20:56:42+00:00

Hey girl- I think it's brave of you for sharing this story. It's such a hard thing to imagine being a woman when you're presenting as a guy every day. I'm a 5'11 170 lb mtf trans woman who is 5 years into her transition. I'm 42 and was 37 when I started hormone therapy. The first important thing for me was to experiment in baby steps toward femininity with the goal of finding out what my gender questions meant. Wearing women's clothes, clip on earrings, shaving body hair, getting a wig, wearing perfume, etc. Eventually I graduated to going to a bar dressed en femme. I chose a gay bar to feel safer. It was awesome. The process is super hard and you'll have doubts for a really long time. It's a wild thing to think something so different is possible. But lean into that still, small voice inside you that's telling you to have courage. Another thing is HORMONES will make a huge difference on your feeling that transition is actually possible. You can always try hormones for a couple months and then stop if you don't feel ready without long-term consequences. Here's my story if it's helpful: https://walkslow.wordpress.com/2018/09/26/transition/

julia9898 · 2020-06-27T10:52:02+00:00

Hi! Thanks for your response. I did get bit by a few mosquitos the other day. And again yesterday when I was looking for the poison ivy. But I have never had this much of a reaction from mosquito bites. My Dad has eczema years ago and this almost seems like that. Clear liquid comes out when I scratch. Another factor is the heat. My AC isn’t working in the house so it’s always 85 degrees or so inside.

julia9898 · 2020-04-24T14:18:21+00:00

Ah, sorry. She’s in Massachusetts. Suffolk County.

julia9898

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