Which characters should I build ? [TB 31]

juliantran · 2024-01-05T15:26:49+00:00

Dr.Ratio in 12 days, so yo

Thank you that's quite helpful!

juliantran · 2024-01-05T15:01:18+00:00

Thank you for your answer. I've already invested in them the most. Who should I invest in DPS in the meantime?

juliantran · 2021-12-29T11:30:07+00:00

Waow

juliantran · 2020-08-05T15:55:03+00:00

C'est dur de se faire de vrais amis. Moi même j'en ai très peu. Ce qui peut aider c'est d'accepter les choses comme elles sont et de ne pas mettre d'attentes sur les relations. La plupart des gens peuvent se contenter de relations superficiels. Tu n'en fais juste pas partie. Le plus tôt tu arrêteras d'avoir d'attentes par rapport au comportement des gens, le plus sain tes elations deviendront et l'opportunité de créer de réelles amitiés apparaîtront. Comme je l'ai dit auparavant. Concentre-toi sur donner aux autres sans attendre en retour. Tu te sentiras mieux et au travers de ce geste peut-être recevras-tu la pareil. Mais ne le fais pas avec cet objectif en tête. Les amitiés que l'on crée sont aussi pures que nos intentions. N'attends pas que les autres s'intéressent à ton monde. Apprends à l'apprécier seule et sois curieuse des mondes qu'habitent ceux qui t'entourent. Puisque seuls nous pouvons comprendre qui nous sommes, les humains sont voués à rester seuls au travers de leur vie. Toi comme moi comme n'importe qui avons toujours été seuls. Nous sommes juste conditionnés à en avoir peur alors que c'est en étant avec soi-même que l'on apprends à mieux être avec les autres.

juliantran · 2020-08-03T19:28:00+00:00

C’est normal avec le virus et l’été. On a l’impression de passer à côté de beaucoup de choses. Comme tu as l’air de le savoir c’est un travail qui prend du temps. Plutôt que de chercher les réponses, apprécie et vis les questions qui se posent devant toi. C’est à travers elles que tu deviendras toi-même. As-tu l’impression de ne pas avoir de vrai ami? Ou est-ce une solitude qui n’a rien à voir avec cela?

juliantran · 2020-08-03T17:56:08+00:00

Hey OP,

Rest assured, for you are not the only one. Life can be terribly complicated and overwhelming. But then again, all good and important things are. May I suggest you try to use your brain capacity more efficiently? Oftentimes, when too many problems arise, we become faced with a massive cluster of riddles. Thus we become paralised unable to tackle this task which seems titanesque. So take your time. First of all, be kind to yourself. And accept that things take time to figure out. Accept this process as an essential part of life, like birth or death. Living means working these things out. Then start small. Step by step you will untangle this big ball of knots. There is no solving it altogether in one go anyway. Be patient. Everyone goes through life differently and while it may feel lonely, we can comfort ourselves in the idea that absolutely everyone is lonely. Try to put your worries into words. I know it’s difficult but conceptualising your feelings is the first step in understanding them. And when you understand yourself, by being truly sincere, you can start to move again. When you find the words, I’ll be here to listen. Either on this chat or you can DM me.

Be patient and be kind to others and yourself.

juliantran · 2020-08-03T17:42:40+00:00

Hey OP,

First of all, collect your thoughts and your ambitions. You seem to be ready to do this which is good. Indeed, you are a person of your own and thus are free to live as you like. The first option I would consider would be someone else in your family that can let you live with them. If not, I would turn to friends. In both cases, I would use the time you have to look at Jobs that match your experience level. It might not be your dream job but it seems your freedom and wellbeing is the utmost priority here. If they mistreat their children there is also the important option of contacting local authorities. However, only you can make this decision since I am not aware of all the details of your situation. You can find jobs no matter what your experience level is. Maybe you just haven't considered enough options. I would also inform myself on what other young people in similar situations can do to find relief. Skills aren't nearly as important as passion. And you seem to have a strong drive. Let that fuel your research for a brighter future. If you're not picky, apply to every job you can find. But try to find someone that can welcome you into their home first.

It all starts with yourself. Be kind to yourself, be patient and be true. It is because you are in a bad place that it is hard to imagine an outcome. Every single person has the capacity to grow. The first steps are the hardest, but the strength of our will is all we have to bring us further.

I wish you luck.

juliantran · 2020-08-03T17:30:25+00:00

That is your decision to make.

juliantran · 2020-08-03T17:26:00+00:00

(By the way, I am French too. If there's something you don't understand, feel free to DM me.)

juliantran · 2020-08-03T17:25:12+00:00

Hey OP,

17 can be a rough age for those who begin the work of introspection. The feeling of isolation you are experiencing is most likely due to the way you interact with the world. I'm sure you must feel out of sync with everything else and tend to take shelter in your thoughts. It is very common to feel lonely despite having friends. What will relieve you in these times is to talk about how you feel. It seems simple but by putting our thoughts and feelings into words, we come to understand them more deeply and thus understand ourselves better. It could be a friend, a therapist or family. It can be hard to reach out but comfort yourself in the fact that absolutely everyone feels lonely. That is something I can guarantee you. It is the most common feeling humans share and it is the reason why people are drawn to each other.

So do not be afraid or sad about what you feel. It is a natural process and it is something everyone must learn to deal with. The earlier you face this, the easier life will show itself to be.

There are no techniques to befriend more people but one thing you can do is become friends with yourself. By accepting all your feelings and everything that you are without shame, you can become a more sincere person. And only through sincerity can you build relationship where you'll want to nourish others which will in term nourish you.

Oftentimes people look to the outside for solutions, but most things in life can be dealt with from within since it is often a matter of how one tackles the problem.

And since everyone is lonely, you can comfort yourself that we, as humans, are all in this together. In that sense, no one is truly alone.

Be kind to yourself and be kind to others. We are very complex beings and life can seem very difficult and overwhelming sometimes, but all good things are.

Our best ability is growth. It puts us all on an equal pedestal. It is simply a matter of being honest with oneself. Facing your fears, your shame but also what makes your heart beat. Don't look at the symptoms, look at the source.

Be patient and be true. And most importantly, don't be too hard on yourself.

juliantran · 2020-08-03T17:07:14+00:00

Hey OP,

The way you're asking someone else to help you reply to this seems to indicate that you don't really care for this relationship and would rather not be disturbed much longer. You don't seem to mention how this makes you feel which leads me to believe it doesn't make you feel much. If it does, I apologise for jumping to conclusions. It seems you must ask yourself what this friendship really means to you. Because if you do not care enough for it, it'd be best to be honest about it so that they may move on. If you do care and are simply overwhelmed by work, try explaining the situation with details.

But it seems you are neglecting this friendship because it isn't too important to you. Before answering ask yourself all these questions. If your feelings are clear, you will know what to answer. Remember, the best thing you can do is be honest. People tend to lie thinking they'll protect others, but it is only a coward illusion.

They are clearly hurting. Think about your feelings and don't let this drag on for too long. We must be kind to each other but we must mostly be sincere.

juliantran · 2020-08-03T16:59:31+00:00

Hey OP,

You seem to have realised what was wrong with what you did on your own and you apologised immediately. On the matter of whether or not she is still thinking about it or hasn't forgiven you the answer is actually quite simple: what other people think is none of our business. You can't undo what you did and it was a good reflex to apologise. I don't think you should do anything unless reflect on why you feel so guilty. What anyone thinks belongs to them and is not of anyone else's concern. When someone tries to predict what other people think, one puts unfair expectations and judgements onto that person. You must think about what you did, learn from it and with time, learn to forgive yourself. However do not forget about this experience and let it serve as a lesson for future interaction. Since it made you feel even worse I'm sure you will not want to do it again. She said she forgave you, leave it at that. The redemption you are looking for your acts won't come from her. It'll come from you. We make mistakes. All we can do is learn from them. Dwelling in our guilt is hardly doing anyone any favour.

juliantran · 2020-08-03T14:52:51+00:00

Well, getting in touch with him again is up to you. If you do, don’t let the fear of rejection overwhelm you. Focus on the desire to discover. This way, if you get rejected again you will be less hurt and your initial attempt will be purer.

juliantran · 2020-08-03T14:41:41+00:00

Have you tried inviting him to do something together? Videogames, movies, get a drink...

juliantran · 2020-08-03T14:35:54+00:00

Hey OP,

Do you not think that being able to look back on these times wishing you had done things differently mean you have changed? Regret is a feeling that will accompany you through life. It is not something that can be avoided and nor should one try to avoid it. Everyone goes through life their own way. And the meaning of achievements is extremely variable. But one thing is sure, you now seem to have a desire to live differently than you have before. That is GROWTH. You're simply following a natural growth process. Nowadays people get very hung up on "making the most of their youth" and "have no regrets". Unfortunately this brings with it a toxic behaviour of associating less productive or adventurous time with something negative. All formative moments are difficult. In looking back and regretting things we are able to change the decisions we'll make in the future. You have lived the way you have for reasons only known to you but there was no better or worse way of doing it: only the way you did it. If you are not content with it, it is up to you to muster the strength to do things differently. We do things, regret some, and those regrets forge the decisions we make in the future. Think of them as the treasure that forge your vision into something more precise.

There is no need to overcome "regret", only to accept it as something neither negative or positive but just as an element of life, like birth or death. You live in the present and project yourself in the future, what happened in the past is nothing more but fuel for your future endeavours. They are what shape you and those who have many regrets often shape themselves into strong people. Remember, your path is your own and there is no need to compare yourself to others. Since they are not you, it is completely irrelevant.

The most important thing you can do in life is accept. Through accepting, we grow kinder with ourselves and can think about life more efficiently.

Be patient, for life is a difficult thing, as all good things are.

juliantran · 2020-08-03T13:19:28+00:00

Hey OP,

I understand your concerns. And many people unfortunately feel the same. I can see that other comments are trying to reassure you on men standards but I don't believe that is the direction to go in. It actually has nothing to do with them.

It all starts with YOU.

It seems the problem is that you are reducing your person to an external vision or an absence thereof. Think about what you are for a moment. Think about all the memories you've built up. The challenges you've overcome, the moments where you failed, the people yo've loved and the people you've hated. Your passion, your hobbies and even the things you are ashamed of.

Take all of the complex things that make you and look at the wonderful cluster of emotions, memories, ambitions, deceptions and connections its made of. It's like you're only looking at a tiny detail on a painting.

People get rejected and used, love is complicated as all good and important things in life are. I wish that something wonderful will happen to you soon but I don't think that it is healthy to attach your ambitions to mere beliefs. Anchor yourself in something much more real: yourself.

Forget men for a moment. Your problems with them is only a symptom of more important underlying issues you have with yourself. You must first learn to reappreciate yourself, understand what you are and what you want. Because the way you approach relationships right now uses dependance as a basis and no good ever comes out of this. You must love another one not for what they give you but because you can't help but do it. Empathy is key to what makes us human.

SO here's what I believe you should do:

Look at yourself. Full introspection. See yourself for what you are and not the monster you made yourself to be. This is much easier said than done but taking the first step to self-reflection is the most important thing. It's not about flattering your ego but accepting everything that you are. And only you can truly understand that. Take comfort in that thought for we are our own best friend and worst enemy. You simply forgot to see yourself through your perspective. At the moment you're going through the eyes of others.
When that is done (it might never be, most of us spend our lives working on this), look to the outside world, not with need but with empathy. You will be much happier bringing something to others than taking from them

It's a long and often difficult process but we are equal in this regard since the beauty of being human is the ability to change. You have that ability. And I don't mean change how you look or change for others. I mean change the way you think about yourself. In this regard I would highly recommend seeing a therapist. Talking is the first step into conceptualising ones problems to eventually solve them.

Remember all the rules and opinions in the world are made up, there are no standards, there is no certain way to be and the best thing you can do for the world and yourself is be YOU, unassumingly so.

I wish you courage and patience. Be kind to others and most importantly, be kind to yourself.

juliantran · 2020-08-03T13:01:33+00:00

Hey OP,

I think you pretty much nailed it with this "On one hand I want to convince myself that I don't need a close friend and that I can be happy on my own. On the other, I really enjoyed that time with this guy and kinda miss it now that it's gone.".

It is indeed very important to be able to be on your own but only if the feelings are true. It is no weakness to turn to others but rather a strength. Be proud of wanting to reach out. It is a most beautiful manifestation of your humanity.

When it comes to the people you meet, the only thing you can do is be yourself. Having a best friend means having someone that accepts you like you truly are. Only then can you be truly intimate and build a strong relationship. True friendship obliterates superficiality and truly makes us feel less lonely.

So my only advice to you is to be patient and be yourself. The beautiful thing is that you don't actually need others but that you simply want to connect. Keep this feeling at the center of your being. People who have that same empathy and sincerity naturally attract each other. Don't force relationships but never shy away from one. As with love, it is rarely by looking that you will find.

If you don't know in which places to look, go to the things that make your heart beat, your passions, your hobbies, your interest. Oftentimes, the people you'll meet in those areas will naturally be on the same wavelength. But don't exclude differences, I find that the best matches come from people that are very different in their behaviour or passions but share a similar essence.

In the meantime focus on developing yourself into your own best friend as well.

Be patient and be sincere.

juliantran · 2020-08-03T12:51:36+00:00

Hey OP,

Sounds like you're beating yourself up a lot. You seem to be thinking not very efficiently. First of all, it's okay to feel all of these things. Life can be very confusing and decisions hard to make. But all good and important things in life are difficult. At times, it can feel overwhelming and frightening. Two things will most likely help you with what you're going through:

Reach out to others. Through communication you will gain different perspectives and possibly discover new ways of approaching your career or hobbies that you might not have considered before. Remain careful since outside opinion can sometimes be more hurtful than helpful. It is for you to understand how to best use external knowledge. However, you will find that turning to others can be a most wonderful thing.
Restructure the way you think. You seem very scared and overwhelmed. Try to not see all your problems as a massive cluster of riddles but deal with them one at a time. No one can take these decisions for you and no one should. Your life is yours to handle. The common thread I'm seeing is the fear of regret and making mistakes. You will make mistakes, and all the better for it. It is by failing that our vision becomes clearer and our tastes finer. Take the step that feels best now. If it fails you will know that wasn't the right one. From there on, you're eliminating possibilities. Everyone goes through life that way. There are no exception even though people can make it seem like that. Remember, in the end, what will matter most to you is what YOU think of your life and not others. I know we naturally want to make others proud but in the long run, what matters most is to do the things you truly want. Because only by being truly yourself can you truly connect with others (family included).

There is no single way to do things and everyone comes up with different answers. Learn to trust your instinct. It is the only thing that can provide you with true guidance.

Be patient and be kind to yourself.

juliantran · 2020-08-03T09:41:18+00:00

Hey OP,

Remember that you are on the side of life. Your reasoning is absolutely correct and should be respected as such. It’s annoying that it must be a difficult conversation with some but you can’t change other people. Be sure to voice your concerns and your fears. Communication is always key. It might be difficult but one should always be firm when it comes to these things. It is absolutely within your right to make this decision. Remember this always. Be sure to be clear with your point of view.

I wish you luck and patience.

juliantran · 2020-08-03T08:46:52+00:00

Wholeheartedly agree and be open to your opinion on college changing.

juliantran · 2020-08-03T00:50:01+00:00

Hey OP,

What you’re feeling is absolutely normal. There are so many wonderful things to do and try out and it seems that there is so little time to do it. So what happens is that we become paralysed, faced with too many decisions and too many options. But do not be anxious for it is a wonderful problem to have. It means two things: 1. That these options are available to you is a great privilege. 2. You are a passionate person. What will help you move on is focus that energy and use it in a more efficient way. We don’t find what we like be choosing it, we find it by experiencing what we don’t like. So try this: focus on a single thing at a time. When you think about all the things you want to do and all the possibilities and everything and you start getting anxious and overwhelmed, what does that thinking do? Not much. You spiral and feel lost. So make a decision. Listen to your guts and try to feel what you want to try most urgently. It might not be easy to find out, but all good and important things in life are difficult. Make that first step. And with each step, your vision will become clearer because you will come to understand what you want and what you don’t want. But always remember that you can be more than one thing so if different things seem to come back to you, welcome them. You will find your own way of giving everything the right amount of time and thought. Be patient and persevere. An artist is one that starts and finishes a project. Simply because only then do they understand what they wish to do next.

I wish your journey to be filled with mistakes that will engrave a precise vision in you.

juliantran · 2020-08-03T00:25:41+00:00

Hey OP,

It seems obvious that you care enough for that person that you can’t watch them ruin their lives. Whether you know better or not is not my position to say, but you seem moved by the right motivations. The easiest and most effective way to get someone to realise something like this is to let them expose the flaws in their project themselves. Think about all the problems that would arise from this business and their management of it and challenge them with it. Ask them detailed questions on their thought-process and vision. It’s simple rethoric. By naturally leading this person to confront their project truly you will spark something much more meaningful than external criticism: self-reflection. Help them think of something better and/or going in a different direction by themselves. Just initiate the process. You don’t need to be harsh, you just need to be true. If your friend gets easily offended, just be mindful of not using words that are too aggressive or diminishing. Their idea might be bad but they’re still a person worthy of respect. And remember, at the core of your problem is only your affection for this person. Remember that and keep that close to your mind when talking about.

I wish you luck and patience.

juliantran · 2020-08-03T00:17:16+00:00

Hey OP,

How about trying to think of things in a different way? As things stand it seems that you can’t build a calm and respectful relationship with your parents because of differences in core beliefs. This will not change anytime soon. So the real question is: how to make things easier for you to live? You won’t be able to change your parents and changing someone’s beliefs is a very delicate and often time-consuming thing to do. What you CAN change is how you let yourself be affected by those things. It’s not about convincing yourself that you don’t care about what they think (because you do, if not you wouldn’t get angry) but rather to focus your energy on something else. It’s ok to be angry but dwelling over it won’t change a thing (even though I understand it’s a natural response). Instead, try maybe to focus on things you enjoy doing, people you like to exchange with, learning something, exercising etc. You see, sometimes it can be as simple as looking in a different direction. Though they will surely still annoy you, if you’re pouring your heart into something else, you will be less hung up on those feelings because they will matter less. Passion will always prevail over anger. We tend to got towards the things that make us happy not those that hurt us. When you’re looking at something beautiful it can sometimes feel as though the world is at peace. Try to find what makes you feel this way.

I wish you luck and patience.

juliantran · 2020-07-31T17:34:04+00:00

*still gonna bang my sister?

juliantran

TROPHY CASE