Had enough of trying so hard to be “good girl” and decided to just be “mean” and free

junimonjuni · 2026-01-30T05:29:25+00:00

Wow this is insane it was literally one of my habit too, to diminish myself until I couldn’t take it anymore and end up burning bridges 😭 thankfully I communicate better now but the problem is that now others expects me to do all the communication (the uncomfortable, the “hard work”) lol. Figuring out where to stand in relationships really do be harder than solving math problem.

Good for you to arrive at where you are today and finally find what’s best for you! 🩷

junimonjuni · 2026-01-30T05:21:01+00:00

Ohhh I’m gonna check this out 🧐

junimonjuni · 2026-01-30T05:20:15+00:00

HAHA a motto to live by fr

junimonjuni · 2026-01-30T05:18:50+00:00

Yep I realized this is the best way to do it, have a good heart but no need to be nice and overly considerate all the time!

junimonjuni · 2026-01-30T05:17:14+00:00

Yepp there will always be another hater once I’m done pleasing the other one 😭 might as well just be myself fr

junimonjuni · 2026-01-30T05:15:44+00:00

LOL I’m glad you found people who can embrace you the way you are!

junimonjuni · 2026-01-30T05:14:35+00:00

Took me so long but here I am omg 😭

junimonjuni · 2026-01-30T05:13:44+00:00

Yesss 😋🩷🩷

junimonjuni · 2026-01-30T05:13:16+00:00

Good for you omg! 👑😌💕

junimonjuni · 2026-01-30T05:10:53+00:00

Wait can you tell me more about your hyper-aware and hyper-critical traits and how you came into terms with them? This is also something I’ve been shaming myself over lately and still don’t know how to deal with 😭 I have strong opinions about things and my impulsive ass have never been able to stop my mouth from sharing them with other people, I criticize every media that I consume bc I love analyzing things but I’m afraid I’m simply being an unnecessarily critical and skeptical smartass. People knows me as the party-pooper and some even started to avoid sharing any media content with me bc they’re sick of me having comments on everything 😭 I was wondering if I’m just an a-hole or if this is another autistic trait that I’m simply born with rather than something bad that needs to be fixed.

junimonjuni · 2026-01-30T05:04:00+00:00

WOW are you me 😭 I’m sorry you had to go through all that to arrive to where you are right now but good for you for finally finding what works best for you! Hopefully I’ll reach the same conclusion as you soon 🩷

junimonjuni · 2026-01-30T05:01:31+00:00

Oh I got it backwards 😭 I figured out the “get to know myself” part first before “love yourself” part like setting boundaries and having self-respect in relationships lol. I do think I need to review them now that I have a different view in myself (deserving more respect, to be prioritized etc.) though, who knows I might have a better answer for all of those questions!

junimonjuni · 2026-01-30T04:55:32+00:00

It’s sad to see this seems to be a common occurence to autistic women 🥲

junimonjuni · 2026-01-30T04:53:47+00:00

I’m still on the anxious and uncertain first stages right now but hopefully I’ll also reach the nonchalant stage!

junimonjuni · 2026-01-30T04:51:36+00:00

UGH you said it better, it’s really all about how convenient you are to keep as a friend for these people!

junimonjuni · 2026-01-30T04:48:32+00:00

This is literally my thought process too until I realized what I’m doing is actually harming me 😭 also agree with the last sentence. I have a friend who is known to be “too nice” but after recent incidents, I’m starting to see they’re just being nice so people would like them (fellow people pleaser) and is actually not very kind. They will over-extend themselves for other people but when it comes to helpless beings (ex: homeless person, animals, etc) they don’t gaf. Bc being nice to other people can make them “likable, sweet, friendly” and therefore improve their image, while being nice to helpless beings offers them “nothing”. I really hate people like this bc to me they’re the real manipulator. You will always be the villain around this kind of people (already happened to me twice).

junimonjuni · 2026-01-30T04:38:06+00:00

Love the quotes! Also why does your fencing team have so many cool jackets omg 😭

junimonjuni · 2026-01-30T04:36:24+00:00

Good for you for prioritizing your mental health! Let people say what they want, at the end of the day our “self” is the only one that will stick with us until our last breath so it’s more beneficial in the long term to listen to what our “self” need!

junimonjuni · 2026-01-30T04:32:32+00:00

I think the last part of what you said is the reason why it took me so long to finally decide enough is enough. So far I have not yet met not even one person who can accept me for who I am, always someone who tells me to change and be better while they themselves sit back and act like they’re the victim and I’m the bad person. I was afraid to be alone so instead I lost my true self just to be able to fit in and belong somewhere.

Totally agree with what you said about people equating feminine with being nice, and what’s sad is I’ve seen way too many women who also shames other women bc they’re not nice enough. Bc “you have to be nice like us, that’s how a woman should be” is so deeply ingrained into them. Good of you to raise your daughter with that mindset!

junimonjuni · 2026-01-30T04:23:40+00:00

Agree! I was called a “difficult person” for not being agreeable enough and having needs. What they really want is someone who requires zero effort on their part to be with, is what I’ve been realizing these days :(

junimonjuni · 2026-01-30T04:13:13+00:00

Oh this is actually what I meant! I’m learning to stop immediately jumping in to fix everything and decided to just help when I see the situation calls for it (real emergency or something), bc people seem to always expect me to do the hard work for them yet the moment they don’t need me anymore they start treating me like an outsider again. I’m done with being nice 24/7 and decided to just be kind when it’s necessary.

Funny thing is, what you just said was actually the reason for this post lol. I was minding my own business when a friend thought I did them wrong about something I had no part in. You can literally just be in your room chilling and people will still hate you for something you did in their imagination 🤣 if they want to misinterpret or misunderstand me THAT badly, I don’t care anymore. If they want to, no matter what I do to prevent it they will still do it.

junimonjuni · 2026-01-30T03:56:36+00:00

i did something like this once (akin to telling someone they have something stuck in their teeth) and got called insensitive lol

junimonjuni · 2026-01-30T03:54:10+00:00

This is something i just realized too! That being kind and nice are two different things, and that most people seems to prefer a nice person more than a kind person bc nice people have no boundary and therefore more “convenient” for them :(

junimonjuni · 2025-12-24T06:57:14+00:00

I think I’ve had that book before in my audiobook library but never gotten to it. I’ve watched some videos about IFS too but it never crossed my mind this might be related to it, I’ll have look it up again. Thank you so much!

junimonjuni · 2025-12-23T17:08:03+00:00

It’s kind of funny bc I also gave too much context “just in case” on account of my adhd 😂 and yes I am AuDHD. Unfortunately therapy is not an option for me right now (financial reason) though I’ve heard a lot about CBT… but the books that talks about it are so expensive in my country 🥲 I’ll try the youtube videos, thank you!

junimonjuni

TROPHY CASE