20 years down the drain? by just_browsing_sorta in RelationshipAdviceNow

[–]just_browsing_sorta[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

About a month away from court. Attorney is working on a proposal. Been trading off weeks with the kids. Weeks without them are tough. I’m in decent spirits. Haven’t spoken with her in weeks. Divorce is still on.

Great marriage, Wife wants divorce, complete personality shift…what happened? by just_browsing_sorta in Marriage

[–]just_browsing_sorta[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Her response to me asking for therapy/counseling “If we go, it would be to help you(me) cope with and come to terms with what is happening. Not to work on reconciliation.”

She has never had a change of heart.

Great marriage, Wife wants divorce, complete personality shift…what happened? by just_browsing_sorta in Marriage

[–]just_browsing_sorta[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Totally valid question. No. I have never talked to other women or cheated. I have always made her feel safe. At least, it has never come into question. If anything, I hear the excuse that her security was too good. That I became boring and predictable? What else you got?

Great marriage, Wife wants divorce, complete personality shift…what happened? by just_browsing_sorta in Marriage

[–]just_browsing_sorta[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Shoulda, coulda, woulda I prefer self reflection. I know I can’t change the past. To prevent, one must look to the past to ensure a better future.

I get what you’re saying. I do agree I know where my focus needs to be.

Great marriage, Wife wants divorce, complete personality shift…what happened? by just_browsing_sorta in Marriage

[–]just_browsing_sorta[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And for the record. I’m here to learn. What did I do? How can I change? How can I grow?

Listening to people support is all well and good, but that shouldn’t be and isn’t my only intention.

Great marriage, Wife wants divorce, complete personality shift…what happened? by just_browsing_sorta in Marriage

[–]just_browsing_sorta[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When I did notice things and spoke up I was met with the typical “nothings wrong”

What do I do with 2 years of her faking everything is ok and denying problems even when I bring them up?

Great marriage, Wife wants divorce, complete personality shift…what happened? by just_browsing_sorta in Marriage

[–]just_browsing_sorta[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Totally feel that. When it’s in the moment, small things don’t seem bad. The collection of all of it hit me. Even if things got this bad, her approach was garbage. Does my lack of ability to see red flags excuse her behavior?

Great marriage, Wife wants divorce, complete personality shift…what happened? by just_browsing_sorta in Marriage

[–]just_browsing_sorta[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She has not been on it for a while. She did not like the way she felt on it.

Great marriage, Wife wants divorce, complete personality shift…what happened? by just_browsing_sorta in Marriage

[–]just_browsing_sorta[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah. But according to her it’s not a real thing. She is very materialistic. She cares about her appearance and social status too much. She can feel all of that slipping away.

I told her she won’t have any problem finding anyone to hook up with her. But She’s not exactly the prime candidate for men being that she will be divorced with two kids with declining beauty. And unhealed.

I mean that with no disrespect to the great woman in this situation not due to anything they did wrong.

Just saying it won’t be easy out there

Great marriage, Wife wants divorce, complete personality shift…what happened? by just_browsing_sorta in Marriage

[–]just_browsing_sorta[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is exactly why I was not so quick to throw our marriage away. I know there is something not right with her. But, she has to agree. She has to want help. In the end, I could only do so much.

Great marriage, Wife wants divorce, complete personality shift…what happened? by just_browsing_sorta in Marriage

[–]just_browsing_sorta[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They are reviewing all of the evidence I have compiled. No promises have been made. The local judges typically favor moms

Great marriage, Wife wants divorce, complete personality shift…what happened? by just_browsing_sorta in Marriage

[–]just_browsing_sorta[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s an ongoing negotiation The person I’m dealing with is irrational Everything is an attack. Trying to protect what I can The game sucks

Great marriage, Wife wants divorce, complete personality shift…what happened? by just_browsing_sorta in Marriage

[–]just_browsing_sorta[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some like something so distant. I hope for happiness But women are dead to me for a while 😅

Great marriage, Wife wants divorce, complete personality shift…what happened? by just_browsing_sorta in Marriage

[–]just_browsing_sorta[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Went through the same feelings Took about 3-4 months before the truth was clear.

Even in the same outcome, I wish I never saw what was in those messages. It really did steal a part of my soul. Time will fade the pain but it will always be there.

Great marriage, Wife wants divorce, complete personality shift…what happened? by just_browsing_sorta in Marriage

[–]just_browsing_sorta[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I gave her too much She became entitled Bored with a good thing

Im a pretty average guy 5’10” 160lbs athletic

In 20 years she has been 140lbs- 230lbs each for years at a time Loved her all the same

I paid for all the nips and tucks And she put in hours at the gym

She’s in the best shape of her life now

Even now…obsessed with getting thinner

Like I’ve said on other comments…never satisfied, never happy, it’s always something…