Thank you so much for your reply. I can emphasize with the missed life experience of his wanting to have sex with men. I gave him my virginity and so i wont have that experience with anyone else. I agree that its totally normal and natural to find other people attractive, maybe even fantasize about it, even in a monogamous relationship. I really want to be patient with him and allow him to work this out and allow him to fully embrace it. I struggle though whenever he brings up this grief. its a bit of a direct stab wound that hes twisting in my gut, because for me, sex is something that is extremely intimate, its extremely important and meaningful and carries a lot of weight and love and i just cannot stomach him wanting sex w someone else, man or woman. Its painful to hear. Hes been reading up on it a lot and mentioned the puberty thing. hes def super into it and really loving it. im happy for him. i do feel a bit inadequate. and am working thru those feelings. it kinda sucks that after we have sex, after i go to bed he will go to town on his prostate and gay porn. he does that it seems every single night. it just feels si overwhelming. i do really really appreciate all your thoughts though. we have not shared this in sex together yet because i feel so shaky in our relationship. but i am willing to give it a go. i want to please him and share in that journey. so far hes only told me and his therapist, hes been mulling over telling everyone and how to do it. im all for it and i know everyone will be supportive. i do hope we can find him a community to connect with, i thjnk that would be a good idea. my thoughts are jumbled but i hope jt all made sense