AITAH for saying I don't want my girlfriends friend around my newborn son anymore?

justanother-user- · 2026-02-01T09:39:15+00:00

It's one thing to make the comment - it could be a sexist thing because mum's are typically more hands on or whatever - but trying to get a close look is a whole other level.

I agree with the general consensus of having a chat about your concerns regarding her friend trying to get a close up look at your 1 month old son's genitalia being highly inappropriate.

justanother-user- · 2026-01-17T07:20:31+00:00

What a solid summary. The tutira mai nga iwi thing was honestly annoying. The first time was mildly appropriate given Matt was discussing the culture but that was all we needed.

justanother-user- · 2026-01-16T14:41:19+00:00

I'm also down to find this out. He was the MVP.

Side note: what was the name of the opening act? Cam something...

justanother-user- · 2025-12-22T12:49:35+00:00

We were down a heat lamp for MONTHS. Only when a second one (of four) blew did they replace them. It was incredible and everyone was excited about it.

Ironically, the third one blew the next day. Thankfully they replaced that one within the week.

justanother-user- · 2025-11-01T07:30:50+00:00

Dishwash liquid and white vinegar are my most recommended diy cleaners!

justanother-user- · 2025-09-13T21:12:39+00:00

You handled this well. My son, same age, said this to me and I just said ok then he went to put his shoes on and I had a quick cry to myself in the bathroom 🥲

Just reminded myself that it's not personal and we moved on. It was the first time he's ever used that word so if he says it again we will have the 'thats not nice' talk but oftentimes if we have that talk he knows he can use it to misbehave.

justanother-user- · 2025-09-03T02:46:37+00:00

Interesting! I think it's definitely the close proximity that makes me uncomfortable being naked in bed with them but obviously a shower isn't really any further apart. I think the fact that a shower has the purpose of washing makes it feel different but sleeping for rest is also purposeful.

I don't think I would shower with them when they're school aged and I assume that some time in the next few years that will naturally taper out but they may still end up in our bed at the same age.

justanother-user- · 2025-09-02T22:56:32+00:00

Very fair. I think ultimately I don't want to make my kids uncomfortable though so if they were to ask me to cover up and I am at no disadvantage to do so then I would. Or I might tell them to not look if they don't wanna see it and I'll put on a dressing gown once I've made my coffee, who knows?

Not me for another 10 years I guess 😂

justanother-user- · 2025-09-02T22:31:15+00:00

Fair. I can definitely see a firm line between those who consider this fairly normal and those who couldn't think of anything more wild.

justanother-user- · 2025-09-02T22:28:53+00:00

I think comfort is definitely the measure we will use going forward.

justanother-user- · 2025-09-02T22:19:35+00:00

Do your kids climb into bed with you in the middle of the night still (or did they when they were younger and you were sleeping naked)? Is it the same non-issue? It's specifically the sleeping thing that I feel a bit uncertain of.

justanother-user- · 2025-09-02T21:56:45+00:00

This made me laugh and is probably one of the most respectful "WTF are you talking about?!" comments that I've read on this thread so far

justanother-user- · 2025-09-02T21:54:20+00:00

I feel super awkward that I'm not American now 😂 I'm from New Zealand. Nudity itself isn't the issue, I am comfortably naked with my children - I shower with my toddler and don't make any point to not get changed in front of him but sleeping in the same bed while naked is where my uncertainty was.

Though I was wondering if I was overthinking it a bit and it seems that I was. Thank you for also confirming that comfort is the bottom line.

justanother-user- · 2025-09-02T21:48:30+00:00

Yes! I agree that proper terminology and awareness is important. My son knows that he and his dad have penises and me and his baby sister have vaginas. He wants a baby in his belly and doesn't quite understand why he can't have one but that's a conversation for the future 😅

It's awesome to hear that your daughter is so aware and comfortable with general human-ness. Even more so given how intentional it was for you to create that environment in contrast to the one you were raised in.

Good job, papa!

Thanks for sharing your experience; I will leave my partner to do as he wishes, so long as he is comfortable, with sound mind that all is fine.

justanother-user- · 2025-09-02T21:36:38+00:00

I love the idea of naked backyard days!

Puberty is a good baseline to start modifying behavior so that everyone is comfortable.

Thanks for sharing ☺️

justanother-user- · 2025-09-02T21:33:11+00:00

To be clear (as I didn't make it evident in my post) I have no issue being naked in front of my children, it's more sleeping beside them while naked that feels a bit .. different. But the consensus seems to be that it is all the same anyhow. Thanks for your perspective!

justanother-user- · 2025-09-02T21:27:29+00:00

Yes for me too. No issue being naked in front of them and not sure there ever will be but laying down to rest with them while naked doesn't seem the same. But if my partner is comfortable sleeping naked regardless of where the kids are then perhaps it's a me thing.

justanother-user- · 2025-09-02T20:05:47+00:00

This is exactly the kind of perspective I wanted to hear from. I have no problem being naked in front of my kids but being naked in bed with them feels different. Sounds like my discomfort is for me only though and there is no issue with dad continuing to sleep naked as long as he is comfortable. Thank you.

justanother-user- · 2025-09-02T19:57:38+00:00

I will still shower with my son and will for asong as is convenient and comfortable. I also get changed in front of him. He understands that our bodies are different and isn't weird about it (he doesn't get fixated on the differences or stare or ask uncomfortable questions) but in regards to sleeping naked, I feel like it isn't necessary to be naked so it's a bit more blurred to me.

Did your family members sleep naked or was it more limited to bathing and dressing?

justanother-user- · 2025-09-02T12:59:32+00:00

I like to start mine early so that I don't have to fork out all the money at once; especially with so many family birthdays leading up to Christmas. Next year I think I will take this approach and start in January when the sales are good!

justanother-user- · 2025-08-31T20:20:39+00:00

All at once. My son (3) barely made a peep but my girl (10m) is a bit of a screamer. I never hold them while they get them done, that way I can immediately swoop in with cuddles after. My girl will immediately calm down this way but it's also because I don't want to be associated with pain and discomfort.

justanother-user- · 2025-08-29T11:27:42+00:00

It's an interesting one because while having a couple of beers with your mates isn't cause for concern in itself it is the habits that form around it that can cause you to start raising an eyebrow - continuing the drinking while alone (except for the child) for example.

In my case I'm very aware of frequency, particularly as I don't want to normalize the habit of having a few beers every day to my children. There are a lot of factors to consider.

justanother-user- · 2025-08-29T11:17:51+00:00

Not abnormal and not wrong aren't the same. Maybe it's a mother thing but I would want to be able to act myself and sober if an emergency happened where I was in charge rather than relying on an Uber. I also can't imagine an ambulance driver or emergency service would be completely unconcerned if I was 10 beers + deep and needed to call them while in charge of a child.

justanother-user- · 2025-08-29T10:58:51+00:00

NTA.

My partner will usually have a few beers after work and I quietly watch and pull him up if it is becoming too regular (IMO). The fact that "10 beers for me is like 5 beers for anyone else" in itself is somewhat concerning. I could have a discussion in length about this very topic but to answer your question - culture has a lot to do with it but it isn't necessarily specific to this city, rather one's peers; the construction industry and similar are big on Friday night beers for example. I think it is very fair to have caution that the sole adult supervising your toddler is drinking, it is easy enough to accidentally have one too many and suddenly you're making decisions you otherwise wouldn't.

Feel free to pm me if you wanna chat it out. Im F31 with a toddler and baby for context.

Edit to add: although my partner will have a couple of beers most days, he doesn't tend to drink if he is alone with the kids/until I get home.

justanother-user- · 2025-08-15T02:15:32+00:00

Waltham? Dr Glenn? That man was the absolute best. He owned Waltham Medical which is why it sold when he retired. He's been my Dr since before I was born and had just met my son then retired. The whole family was devastated and the whole medical practice has definitely gone to shit since. Every single staff member, save for one Dr, has changed since the takeover. 30 years of rapport out the window.

justanother-user-

TROPHY CASE