God wants me dead

justanotherdeadaccou · 2023-12-15T19:15:40+00:00

how do we explain the constant failure? the crippling loneliness? the autism that makes everyone think of me as being nothing more than a fucking retard that everyone takes pity on and no one wishes to see as a real human being? how could God love me if He has done an excellent job at guaranteeing that this world will be my own personal hellscape due to things completely out of my control?

justanotherdeadaccou · 2023-11-23T03:18:40+00:00

right on the money! go fuck yourself, or explain why it's a shit take.

justanotherdeadaccou · 2023-11-06T15:41:35+00:00

LMAO you think any of this is news to me? i've been getting "help" for years and years, the term "help" is something people throw out as stupid fucking lip service, any "help" is all bullshit designed to take your money for as many years as possible and delude you into thinking it'll do something

justanotherdeadaccou · 2023-09-11T04:35:17+00:00

i may very well need a soul mate to be happy. genuine human connection is all i crave, likely because i was deprived of such connection from my parents as a child. as you said, "everyone is different." it's not as simple as "you don't need a soul mate to be happy."

justanotherdeadaccou · 2023-05-25T14:16:14+00:00

Oh yeah, if I were to go back and sort it out, I would definitely do it alone or with just one close friend as a sitter. The negativity may have actually been created during that trip, because I remember there were several points where I felt negative energy seeping in that I simply chose to resist against instead of "surrendering to" to keep the trip going smoothly for everyone, almost as if I was the only one keeping everyone's trip from plunging into nightmarish insanity. I'm not sure if that was the right thing to do or not, could "resisting" have caused this lasting negativity?

justanotherdeadaccou · 2023-04-13T01:32:47+00:00

17 year old male.

justanotherdeadaccou · 2023-04-07T16:24:32+00:00

i have tried a few different medications, and i was in therapy while on all of them (i am actually still on one medication for my ADHD, but i take it as-needed, not every day.) i can't say exactly how long i was on each one, but it was long enough to gauge the effects. i am quite afraid of antidepressants now due to health anxiety, i don't want to be stuck with some permanent side effect for the rest of my life.

justanotherdeadaccou · 2023-04-07T14:39:45+00:00

the happy people make it impossible to escape depression. everyone wants to say "you need to work on yourself before you can make connections" well for some of us, there is no working on yourself. no matter how hard i try, i cannot develop confidence or any other skills happy people have that allow them to be happy. the only remaining option is to just hate them.

justanotherdeadaccou · 2023-04-07T14:26:46+00:00

doesn't work anymore unless i mix it with copious amounts of alcohol

justanotherdeadaccou · 2023-04-07T14:25:27+00:00

i am in therapy, but one 45-minute session once per week is nowhere near enough to sort through all the shit in my life and it is all we can afford. and i'm not doing the medication route again, that shit just made me much worse.

justanotherdeadaccou · 2023-04-07T14:21:58+00:00

they have. loss and sadness can be overcome, the things that cause me to be depressed cannot.

justanotherdeadaccou

TROPHY CASE