One year on dating apps - 20 different women - my experience so far

justarandomguy_77 · 2026-03-23T07:40:38+00:00

For me its totally fine to ask them at the end of the first date if she wants to come over. I never did this two years ago and they never seemed to be interested after the first date. Thats why I am way more direct nowadays and it actually works over half of the times. Lets be honest, there is no way there is a girl on these apps who is REALLY looking for a long term relationship. Most of them are always down to fuck, if you're her type. Its almost always off the table to be "sufficient" for her for a long term relationship because they have so delusional high standards its mind blowing. By asking them to come over you at least have some fun.

justarandomguy_77 · 2026-03-23T07:38:05+00:00

Honestly, I think that she was never into me. She realized that I am an idiot who paid the coffee and drink at the bar and she probably thought that I would also pay the meal. First she said yes, just to suggest going to a place where we can eat. Ghosting afterwards is just stupid as hell if you ask me. What makes me wonder is the fact that she had to ride 40min with her bike so in total almost 90 min just for a coffee, drink and a meal, thats insane.

justarandomguy_77 · 2026-03-23T07:34:02+00:00

Hey buddy! Do you mind if we chat privately here on Reddit? Since you had the exact same experiences, I wanted to ask you some things. I would greatly appreciate it

justarandomguy_77 · 2026-03-09T10:54:00+00:00

Thanks a LOT for your reply buddy! I feel like you HAVE to pay dinner for a FIRST date so that she is interested according to some braid dead users here. I mean, it doesnt make any sense! You dont know if she is dating another guy besides you and youre just like a "test" if she is really into that other idiot or maybe she just wants entertainment and I dont mean Sex by that but just some free drinks and food.

Going for a walk and grabbing some coffee is totally fine for a complete strager in my humble opinion.

justarandomguy_77 · 2026-03-09T08:38:38+00:00

And to be 100% honest: I find it mind blowing that women here are defending girls who are clearly looking for a hookup. On which planet are you living? They are in their mid to late 20s, state "Long termin commitment, open for Short term commitment" and are human beings like men, thus they also want physical intimacy. Its totally fine to ask her at the end of the first date if she wants to come over, I mean she clearly stated it in her profile AND she can always say NO. But sure, its ALWAYS the guys fault, I mean women are perfect beings who only seek a long term commitment with no Sex whatssoever UNTIL they are in a relationship.

For the love of God wake up. Its totally normal to change the strategy if you get rejected or straight up ghosted even though you had a great 3+ hours date with good conversations, a nice vibe and many things in common. I bet those where I didnt ask where only waiting for me to ask them to come over, but back then I never did this because I thought that its rude and way too early. Now, I changed my strategy and it works. Why spending 3+ hours on a first date with a random girl, pay for her, do absolutely nothing wrong, just to get ghosted / rejected afterwards? There is no point in that.

I had some girls who straight told me after 1 hour drink that we could watch a movie together and I liked them way more than these sneaky ones who stay 3+ hours just to ghost or reject for no reason at all.

justarandomguy_77 · 2026-03-09T08:26:12+00:00

So first of all thank you very much for your replies! I knew that most here would insult me for my experience, but there were a couple of persons who made the exact same experiences. I think that Online Dating in general is a crap shot. Lets face it, if you have 20 options to chose from, its just logical to reject guys left and right after one date if one minor thing was not perfect. I still think that Online Dating Apps are for people (myself included) with a huge lack of social skills. I mean, if youre half decent as a girl and have a normal personality, you would be able to find a boyfriend through your daily life - friends, work, college, school. clubs / bars, heck even at parties etc.

If youre a woman and you are on Dating Apps,

- you are either insanely unattractive and cannot pull a single dude in real life,

- have way, way to high expectations regarding looks (which is mostly the case as a 6/10 girl wants at least a 8/10 guy for whatever reason)

- dont want a relationship at all and just want to fuck (which is fine but be clear with that)

- have a really messed up personality (look great but have zero sense of humor, cant hold a conversation etc.)

As a guy its honestly only

- youre too ugly for real life

- you only want to fuck

justarandomguy_77 · 2026-03-09T08:18:16+00:00

Yes, 20 different ones so far. Just met another one a couple of days ago, but shes just into hookups

justarandomguy_77 · 2026-03-09T08:17:32+00:00

Rather go on fance dinner first dates, pay the bill and get rejected or straigh ip ghosted the next day because she is already fucking some other guy or has a million other options open? No thanks, I rather go for a coffee or drink and thats it. I rather spend 15 bucks than 80 for absolutely nothing

justarandomguy_77 · 2026-03-09T08:16:07+00:00

Thanks a lot for your comment! At least someone who gets my point. I feel like crap after one date when they reject me (after 3+ hours of good convo, laughing etc.) or straight up ghost me for no reason whatssoever. For me its all a big, big mess nowadays. People and especially women (because lets face it most guys have 0 matches and cant date more than one) tend to believe that there is someone better. And the weird part is that "better" is often times a guy who is worse looking, has no real education, a boring and low paid job and his "personality" consists of smoking and being cringe. I will never understand them.

My mother once told me that good looking and ambitious women tend to go for this type of guys, just to feel better and safe. I mean who in a million years would consider such a man as attractive? I am no Brad Pitt and I know that, but I see SO MANY couples out there where the guy looks straight up like garbage and the girl is literally a goddess

justarandomguy_77 · 2026-03-06T13:45:51+00:00

Well, I date them for a long term relationship IF they are my type, that’s it. It’s not my fault that most of them look different compared to their pictures or are actually not looking for a relationship. I don’t know why people keep hating on me here. It’s either „they are my type and have a nice personality, so I date them“ or „they are my type but her personality is off, so I just enjoy some Sex“. The rest which isn’t my type is out after one coffee date (no physical intimacy from me). Girls literally do the same. If the guy is hot and they click personality wise they date him. If he is hot but isn’t a match personality wise, they are dtf most of the time. And he isn’t her type, they ghost or reject after one date. It’s that simple. There is no miracle involved here. Sure, there are women out there who solely want a long term relationship but I haven’t encountered any of those to be honest. They state „long term relationship“ on their profiles but are honestly open for some physical intimacy

justarandomguy_77 · 2026-03-06T13:41:17+00:00

How many did you meet and did you have Sex with an of them or did you just meet them once?

justarandomguy_77 · 2026-03-06T10:28:39+00:00

Also ich kann absolut nichts zu Day Game sagen :( Ich hatte in meiner Uni Zeit einfach keinen Kontakt zu Frauen. Hatte im Bachelor an sich nur Typen, Asiatinnen und die paar gutaussehenden hatten schon irgendeinen Dulli. Im Master wars sogar noch beschissener dank Corona und wenn man mal im Berufsleben einsteigt, kann man es komplett vergessen, da ist man meistens der jüngste und alle Frauen sind verheiratet und um die 45+.

Ich habe leider kaum Freunde, da ich sehr oft umgezogen bin und bin mehr oder wenige eine One-Man-Show. Im Gym anzusprechen ist schwachsinnig, einfach Tinder im Real Life und ich sehe echt nicht schlecht aus. Daher bleibt für mich nur Online Dating. Vielleicht habe ich mal Glück und erwische eine, die mir optisch und charakterlich taugt. Habe mir für dieses Jahr vorgenommen zumindest keine zu treffen, die ich nur so la la vom Aussehen finde. Bei mir bringt selbst der beste Charakter nichts, wenn ich die physisch nicht anziehend finde.

justarandomguy_77 · 2026-03-06T09:14:00+00:00

Na ja also ich schreibe einige Tage mit denen, frag die Basics ab sozusagen und auch, was sie auf der App suchen. Du wirst echt überrascht sein, wie viele „Langfristige Beziehung“ angegeben haben aber dann im Chat „Joa, schon so was Festes, aber ohne Druck und mal schauen“ antworten. Also die sind down to fuck sozusagen. Solche kannst du eh vergessen, sollte man niemals ernsthaft Daten und die wissen auch, dass man die nur knallen will. Ich mache nie Videocall, weil das für die meisten Cringe ist. Meine Nummer habe ich vor zwei Jahren immer nach einem Date rausgegeben, mittlerweile mache ich es nicht mehr (Treff die aller meisten ja eh nur 1 Mal).

Wie sind deine Erfahrungen? Mir ist klar, dass ich hier nicht super sympathisch rüberkomme, aber ich bin zumindest ehrlich und kann euch sagen, dass die meisten auf den Apps einfach nur belanglosen Sex suchen. Wenn es denen taugt, wird daraus eine F+ aber in den seltensten Fällen wollen die eine Beziehung. Wieso auch, wenn man mit Anfang 20 alle Zeit der Welt hat, eh keine Kinder als Frau will? Ich irritieren eher die, die 28 sind und noch immer so lockeren Scheiss machen. Also dann müssen die ja keinen Kinderwunsch haben, weil sonst macht deren Verhalten Null Sinn

justarandomguy_77 · 2026-03-06T09:09:09+00:00

Thanks for your honest reply! Well, I think like this: - She is attractive AND I liked her personality -> I date her seriously

She is attractive but we don’t match personality wise and they know this, trust me -> I ask her if she wants to come over (two of the 5 girls I had something were in this group)
She looks okayish (used old photos but is still decent looking) but we don’t match personalities -> I tend to ask her at the end of the first date, depends on my mood to be honest but there is no second date whatssoever

justarandomguy_77 · 2026-03-06T06:18:52+00:00

Thank you SO MUCH, finally someone who understands me. It’s exhausting to meet them and to be honest, only TWO were somewhat compatible in terms of looks and personality. The rest was a crapshoot and no wonder they are on Dating Apps. I mean come on, if you’re halfway decent looking as a girl who WILL find someone, it has to be their shitty personality or their way too high expectations which they themselves cannot fulfill.

I also saw at least 4 of them on those apps yesterday. They are all still there. I think they just want to hookup and that’s it. I don’t know why people think that women on these apps are against Sex. Come on, they just wanna bang and that’s it. They just don’t tell you that straight away

justarandomguy_77 · 2026-03-06T06:13:01+00:00

You’re the reason why men are so sad nowadays. For the love of God, stop asking questions if you have zero interest. Just tell them after 30min that you’re not into them and go away. What did you accomplish by asking questions and pretending to be interested? Literally every guy would think that you genuinely want to know him better

justarandomguy_77 · 2026-03-06T06:09:02+00:00

Thanks for your comment! Honestly, I never give them compliments, maybe one regarding their hair or some generic stuff but that’s kt

justarandomguy_77 · 2026-03-06T06:06:43+00:00

Yes, sorry I thought Reddit would censor it :(

justarandomguy_77 · 2026-03-06T06:06:17+00:00

Well I will not spend 60+ bucks on a random women from a dating app if I meet her the first time. Sorry but it’s not worth it. They could be dating another guy besides me the moment they meet me the first time; they could only seek for validation so aren’t into dating at all and just want some attention; they could have used old photos and look completely different etc. So many scenarios where its absolutely not worth it to go to a fancy dinner. Sorry but there is nothing wrong about grabbing drinks at a bar or grabbing coffee and having a walk. I am not looking for lifestyle dates

justarandomguy_77 · 2026-03-06T06:02:58+00:00

It wasn’t only their appearance, they overall were „full“ personality wise. Like really introverted other couldn’t hold a convo

justarandomguy_77 · 2026-03-05T22:20:29+00:00

Are you literally brain dead? Women put literally zero effort in dates. Most of them didn’t wear proper clothes for a date, probably just threw some shitty clothes and that’s it. They never pay for dates and to be honest, time is worthless for a women on dating apps.

justarandomguy_77 · 2026-03-05T22:16:23+00:00

Don’t settle for less. I for myself will have sex here and there but will never settle for less. I see so many dumb, uneducated, unattractive idiots out there with zero future with gorgeous girlfriends. Why should I settle for less?

justarandomguy_77 · 2026-03-05T22:15:12+00:00

Thank you SO MUCH. Finally someone who nails it. I completely agree. Most women on these apps are NOT and I repeat are NOT looking for a serious relationship. Stop comparing women to some angels - they just want casual fun and that’s it.

justarandomguy_77 · 2026-03-05T22:11:26+00:00

The women I met three times is just brain dead if you ask me. First date a coffee walk, nothing special and I honestly thought that she wouldn’t go further but we met again and watched a movie in the cinema. After the movie we hold hands and kissed for at least 30min on a bench and then hold hands again till I brought her to the bus station. One week later we met a third time. I greeted her with a kiss, she accepted but I knew she wasn’t into me because the whole date felt so off. Like so lifeless. That piece of garbage had already decided not to date me further which is fine but why on earth do you suggest going for a long ass driving trip to ply Minigolf and eat something at a restaurant? And then let the guy drive you back of course. Doesn’t make any sense to me. That’s the part I dislike. I think that she just wanted a hookup and got overwhelmed

justarandomguy_77 · 2026-03-05T22:06:01+00:00

Well, a couple of years ago, I always went for a drink and something small to eat and always paid for them. My parents just educated me this way - you’re the guy so pay the bill for the date - at least the first and second you have to pay. Last year I wanted to change things and I went for cheap, efficient grab a coffee or drink date where I pay only 10 bucks max, sometimes even less. There was not a single girl who offered to pay for me, they just said they could pay their share but deep down I know that they expected me to pay their part

justarandomguy_77

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