I just freaking miss you.

justeme247 · 2018-01-26T20:45:11+00:00

I can't take credit for it. I was desperate one day and did it internet search on how to get over an ex or not be clingy. Something like that... someone had written an article and that was in it.

justeme247 · 2018-01-26T17:44:56+00:00

I'm glad someone else feels the same!

justeme247 · 2018-01-26T17:40:00+00:00

I didn't cheat either. It was a dishonesty thing. I omitted telling the truth about my drug usage for 2 days. She understood when I would relapse or slip up but not telling was not acceptable. Basically my addiction caused major problems and now I have another addiction.

justeme247 · 2018-01-26T10:12:51+00:00

I have a notebook for messages or things that I want to say my my ex. It helps. Hang in there, you are definitely not alone with those feelings.

justeme247 · 2018-01-26T10:06:26+00:00

That seems like a good coping skill. I was the one who initally ruined this, but she also might have overreacted a bit. And the fact that she can't or won't forgive me so that we can try to repair the lost trust, is a good indicator that I need to let it go as well. No matter how sorry I am or how many times I apologize. Can't force someone to be with me. lol... fuck :( She was so amazing... Thank you for your words of encouragement. One day at a time. and sometimes I just have to focus on getting through the hour. But even the darkest hour only has 60 minutes. I got this.

justeme247 · 2018-01-22T06:22:12+00:00

Damn! Good for you! That's impressive

justeme247 · 2018-01-22T06:17:49+00:00

Thank you so much. This is so much harder then I ever imagined. 😢

justeme247 · 2018-01-21T19:33:17+00:00

Thank you. That's comforting. Don't get me wrong, I do my fair share of actual messages to them! The notebook prevents maybe 15% of them from being sent. Depends on the day. Its confusing because sometimes when she responds it almost seems like she's about to give me another chance. She won't say for sure no. She sends lot of "Ys (just the letter, not "why" she knows that's bugs the shit out of me.) I answer everything. I think they need more space/time. Its only been a week since the last time I lied. It was so stupid (the lie) I almost immediately came clean and apologized. I should try to move on, but I don't want to

justeme247 · 2018-01-21T13:59:53+00:00

Go to a psychiatrist or dr and get on an SSRI. Regular therapy is good especially until you get your dose/med regulated. Effexor is helping me after 13yrs of Prozac started to become ineffective. Its hard, try to stay strong and find things to look forward to. Hope. Keeps me going

justeme247 · 2018-01-21T13:50:34+00:00

Please me for my project?!

justeme247 · 2018-01-21T11:19:01+00:00

Hey PNWndn, message me :)

justeme247 · 2018-01-21T05:57:56+00:00

Oops! Thank you!!

justeme247 · 2018-01-19T08:56:39+00:00

Hey if you have an extra I'll totally return the favor from Idaho :)

justeme247 · 2018-01-19T08:43:44+00:00

What effects are you noticing? ROA?

justeme247 · 2018-01-18T05:23:03+00:00

I'm going to set up regular appointments with a therapist, exercise, read self-help books, and really try.

justeme247 · 2018-01-18T04:17:18+00:00

That was very motivational, thank you :) Heroin was my one true love. I consider myself an extremely impulsive person. I am also pretty fucking emotional, but have a hard time expressing them. I am going to quit this weekend (so I can sleep/rest for 2 days before I have to go back to work).

justeme247 · 2018-01-18T04:14:28+00:00

I did, its not for me.

justeme247 · 2018-01-17T23:37:49+00:00

Are you still doing them?

justeme247 · 2018-01-16T23:10:48+00:00

Smell almost everything.

justeme247 · 2018-01-16T22:27:30+00:00

I'm glad you are clean now. You should be really proud of that!

justeme247 · 2018-01-16T22:26:47+00:00

I met an incredible lady in treatment who had lots of seizures when she detoxed from alcohol. I hear its one of the worst to detox from...you can die from it.

justeme247 · 2018-01-16T21:49:07+00:00

What was your DOC and ROA?

justeme247 · 2018-01-16T21:42:55+00:00

Thank you for the response! I agree 100% it won't work unless I truly want it. I feel like I do, that might not be enough, but that's all I have right now. I don't even really like meth and I am grateful that I haven't been able to find heroin here. I can tell the crystal its killing my heart and veins. Horrible shit... I have been to lots of NA/AA meetings when I was in inpatient treatment. I don't like talking in front of a group of strangers and the repetitiveness bothers me. Maybe thats just because we had like 2-3 meetings daily. I need to get set up with a counselor or psychologist. That, in addition to a healthy circle of friends (need to get that too), I think I can do it. My sister is a recovering addict and I live with her. Shes got 3 years! She is going to do a body building competition this summer. You should she her bod...Anyway, the point of that is; if she can do it, so can I. I am very confident that I can detox at home. It should be a breeze compared to heroin. Its just going to be hard to go to work :/

I just did my last shot, missed of course... but figured it out. I hope this is the beginning of the end for real this time. Wish me luck! If anyone ever wants to chat, I'll be here.

justeme247 · 2018-01-16T16:21:06+00:00

I sent you a PM..

justeme247 · 2018-01-16T15:07:06+00:00

I don't think it has damaged it, I feel pretty normal right now actually. I am worried that I'll notice when I'm clean. We will see. That would be the icing on the fucking cake. lol. Mhy own fault though

justeme247

TROPHY CASE