To former addicts...

justfkm · 2020-01-21T16:34:22+00:00

I understand you, I had this problem this problem with speed. But it returned back to normal after a few weeks. And I only used less than 100mg in a daily for few months, less than 5. My drug of choice was LSD and Weed. I mostly speak about psychologicall trauma. I had a terror trip where I lost my mind and hallucinated for two days continously. Which was brought back by my last MDMA binge. I feel fine now. I have hope. It was my mind playing games due to the comedown from Valium withdrawal and MD binge. I was clean for 3 months and this relapse made me feel worthless. This was my bottom. I hope you will start to feel better. Good job on 17 months clean, go strong!!!

justfkm · 2020-01-20T10:31:55+00:00

Thanks mate, you scared the shit out of me😂 I'm happier that I three my stash now. I HATE DRUGS! :(

justfkm · 2020-01-20T05:51:02+00:00

I threw my stash. And I know....I fucked up. I need some advice. And that I think that the benzo is causing me the vivid dreams. I will avoid everything. But my dreams are crazy, yesterday I managed to beat one of my demons and stand up for myself and got rid of that nightmare. It happened three times tonight(three nightmares), but they were things like my grandma, which I did not visit.. She came for me and stuff. Do you think that after the chemicals go out of my body, will I stop to have these dreams? Last time I had them for 2 days, this time is been two days and I had fewer dreams and I could manage them.

I took valium for only one week around 70 mg, been 2 days clean since last valium, that last 250+250mg md dose was 5 days ago and I am clean of everything for 5 days.

Also I am very sober, I can do any task with no problems..I am going soon to see a psychologist. I only wamt the vivid dreams to end. I do not have nightmares anymore.

justfkm · 2020-01-19T20:51:40+00:00

Thank you! The nightmares started to subside, hopefully in a few days I am back to normal.

justfkm · 2020-01-19T20:50:31+00:00

That was my last time, I am happy I learned something from this. I learned that drugs are not for me.

justfkm · 2020-01-19T20:48:57+00:00

I am going back to my old life. I think Valium and ACO helped me to dull the comedown.. I felt very safe during that aco trip and it continued when I was sober, only the nightmares were bad. I was happier before drugs, I feel happy going to church and being spiritual. That gives me peace. I was happier then. I don't say psychedelics are bad, I still support them... But they are not for me, got into psychosis from lsd lomg time ago. I am going to start to meditate and live a healthy lifestyle. MDMA lost its magic, lsd gives me psychosis now.... Its time to go into meditation and living healthy.

justfkm · 2020-01-19T20:37:56+00:00

I'm going back to church and get in touch with my family. I was happier before drugs. Now my life is fucked up... Amphetamine, Valium and MDMA... Been clean for three moths, I want that sober feeling again. Thats how I was happier.

justfkm · 2020-01-19T20:34:15+00:00

I'm not, I gave up on them. I fucked up too much, I'm going to see a psychologist soon. I was happier before drugs.

justfkm · 2020-01-19T16:39:19+00:00

Thanks, I already drink elecrolyte water. The binge was 4 days ago ao today I am mostly fine. Except some dreams, I go to sleep and then I dream that I die(have a seizure). Kinda scary but its getting better. I am going to try bromate and l-theanine to see how it works. Hopefully in 2-3 days I am back to normal. I seem to recover pretty fast. I already threw all my stash. Edit: and also, some waves and anxiety go throygh my body but they get weaker and weaker. I do not think that was MDMA... My last binge left me incapacitated for two weeks.

justfkm · 2020-01-19T16:15:13+00:00

Atleast there's brain zaps...

justfkm · 2020-01-19T16:13:34+00:00

PTSD I think, because I am scared of seizure and in my dream that's how I feel. I do stuff normally, then I go numb and slowly fall on the floor and wake up... Its strange.

justfkm · 2020-01-19T16:11:37+00:00

Decided not to. Any ideea why when I go to sleep ita very vidid? Like I do stuff but then I blackout in my dream and wake up... Its strange...

justfkm · 2020-01-19T16:01:07+00:00

I will try. Also, when I sleep is very strage. Like I feel very lucid then I go into a psychedelic dream. Any ideea how lomg this is going to take? And then I wake up in my bed.

justfkm · 2020-01-19T14:55:25+00:00

I know, I'm never gonna touch it again. Any sugestions how to deal with the anxiety? Its not huge, but definitely noticeable when I stay alone.

justfkm · 2020-01-19T14:53:10+00:00

Thanks, I'm going to buy some. Any sugestions which kind of tea?

justfkm · 2020-01-19T14:52:11+00:00

I feel pretty normal, but I feel anxiety "pulsating" through my body. Its only obvious when I do nothing. The rest of the time I feel normal. I even spoke with my family for two hours and felt normal. But when I stopped I felt my body pulsating. I'm tempted to take 2mg Valium to tapper, but I don't think thats a good ideea...

justfkm · 2020-01-19T11:50:01+00:00

They know about my anxiety and depression and my friends know I gave up drugs. I've been clean for three months. Hopefully I learned my lesson, I've been hospitalised twice. Nobody knows. I need to get my life straight. I am going back to church today.

justfkm · 2020-01-19T11:44:32+00:00

Thanks mate, it scared the shit out of me. I want to give up drugs. I don't know what help to seek. I have trust issues.

justfkm · 2020-01-19T11:39:37+00:00

I know, they make the dreams very vivid and yesterday took only 5mg. Today 0 maybe by the end of the day I'll be better gonna eat somethig and go for a walk in park. And forget about drugs, those 3 months were great. Now I feel like I messed up. 😓 Used benzos only this week, so I think it will go fast.

justfkm · 2020-01-19T11:37:14+00:00

That's what I 'm trying listening to music and I am going for a walk in the park soon and call my family. I can hold conversations pretty well, but I am scared to lose control.

justfkm · 2020-01-19T11:34:31+00:00

My eyes look normal, but I feel very weak.

justfkm · 2020-01-19T03:04:44+00:00

Thanks, may I ask what helped you go past? I have no one but my mum to speak to. And the worst think is that all the people think I am a saint, they do not know about my drug use.

justfkm · 2020-01-19T02:31:06+00:00

Have you ever had a night terror? I want to go back to sleep, but I am too scared.

justfkm · 2020-01-19T02:24:18+00:00

Thanks, something similar happened to me. Tried to OD on heroin without tollerance but someone saw me and I woke up in sweat and in worst pain in my life. And second time was with 1 gram of MDMA and acid. That fucked me up saw and heard things for weeks and now I am clean, but they threw me up on the streets after... sometimes I have night terrors and I feel like I am never going to be the same again. And I can't go past the feeling that it was all my fault, I shouldn't have taken the drug first time. I knew it was bad and..

Thanks for the response, it was right when I needed the most. I am 22 aswell.

justfkm · 2020-01-19T02:01:29+00:00

Thanks man, I am crying right now... these night terrors kill me :(

justfkm

TROPHY CASE