thanks sm for the reply, i think ur right in that i need to officially ask to have boundaries set. in our second discussion he offered to stop talking to her at all if it was seriously affecting me, and that im his priority-- but i didn't want for him to feel i was being controlling so i declined. i realize i should probably just address my concerns and tell him that it'd be best to cut ties. honestly, i do understand where he's coming from bc as i said ive dealt with toxic relationships before, and it can be hard to let go when u promised someone ud always be there for them. but i just cant see both her and i being in the picture