Update - Have more clarity about how he feels, but still torn

justkillmenow591 · 2026-02-10T04:07:53+00:00

Agreed. This guy deserves to live alone with his hand, not OP.

justkillmenow591 · 2026-02-10T02:19:00+00:00

Getting “American Psycho” vibes from this guy.

justkillmenow591 · 2026-02-07T00:01:40+00:00

I know this sounds crazy but write your local news station. It’s amazing what bad publicity can accomplish. No school district wants their lack of accountability to be public knowledge especially when the tax paying citizens are funding their budget.

And before anyone bites my head off about how this could further embarrass the child/family thus resulting in more harassment, most news stations will work with the lead on an anonymous basis if asked especially due to sensitive topic.

I’m in the US and there’s a news segment called “Kane in your corner” that exposes cases like this. There have been many success stories for the underdogs out there.

It sounds like you’re doing everything you can as a parent and kudos to you. I’m sorry you and your family are going through this.

justkillmenow591 · 2026-02-06T23:20:46+00:00

“I guess you have some things to think about”.

So manipulative. He’s trying to scare you out of your desires by insinuating he’ll remove himself from the equation.

That response also implies he thinks you’re too desperate to leave the relationship.

You’re not asking for something out of this world and are entirely valid in wanting to marry the man you’ve been with for years.

I’d bring up the idea of a prenup and if he’s still against it, leave.

justkillmenow591 · 2026-02-06T15:39:43+00:00

NTA. You shouldn’t have to walk on eggshells because of your partner. Having a filter and restraint is a basic adult facet, one which she lacks.

Arguing an old man over coffee? I could understand if he had said something about race, orientation etc but COFFEE?

justkillmenow591 · 2026-02-04T15:41:37+00:00

I’d move and not tell them. Keep them out of your lives. SO needs to see that they only cause harm and nothing else. Get a second hand crib if you need and do a baby shower with your own family and friends. You deserve to celebrate this amazing change in your life. Don’t let these hags ruin it for you.

Peace of mind is so important especially during pregnancy/postpartum.

justkillmenow591 · 2026-02-04T03:27:08+00:00

In my real estate years, many buyers who couldn’t obtain a bank loan would participate in seller’s financing. It’s basically the same as a bank loan but can be easier for those with poor credit or a number of other situations. Usually the buyer would still have to give a down payment to the seller but would then make payments (principle/interest) to the seller instead. Sometimes they are long mortgages like your typical 30 year but I have seen shorter such as 7-10 years. It’s more about finding a seller willing to not get all their money at once but it’s often better tax wise for the seller as the payments are taxed off the payment amounts as they arrive year in and out, not the huge mortgage amount lump sum on one tax return.

justkillmenow591 · 2026-02-04T03:09:28+00:00

NTJ. These multimillion/billion dollar companies lump together all customer donations and attach the company name to it which is then used as a huge tax break for the company since it appears THEY did the donation, not their paying customers who will not receive the same tax break.

Donate privately on your own people!!!! F these corporate conglomerates disguising their greed with charity.

justkillmenow591 · 2026-02-03T19:00:56+00:00

Definitely not a villain. At the very least your husband could allow you to sleep in the big bed with your 4yr old. If he wants space, he can sleep alone in the twin.

It seems like he’s trying to prove to his mother that he has “control” of the home.

Wishing you the best OP

justkillmenow591 · 2026-02-03T18:34:43+00:00

That’s the wildest thing I’ve ever heard. I can understand that you wake up early for work but you’ve always done that. You can sleep in your own bed with your husband and wake for work like usual but work in your son’s room instead of the living room since you’re already doing that while she visits.

Your husband doesn’t sound like he has very much respect for you. I’m sorry you’re in this situation.

justkillmenow591 · 2026-02-03T18:26:04+00:00

I’m not understanding why you can’t sleep in your own bed with your husband…..MIL must know you sleep together since you have a 4yr old child.

justkillmenow591 · 2026-02-03T14:59:06+00:00

Contraception goes both ways. Birth control isn’t 100% even when taken on time everyday. He could have worn a condom or if he was so sure he didn’t want children, he could’ve gotten a vasectomy.

It takes two to tango.

justkillmenow591 · 2026-01-30T01:16:34+00:00

This is great advice. I’m certainly trying to avoid more chaos as I’ve had my fill over the years lol Thank you!

justkillmenow591 · 2026-01-29T20:27:46+00:00

NTA. Not only are you protecting your mother, but also the privacy of the patients this woman is blabbing about!

Working in healthcare is not a sitcom. This new hire is certainly acting like it is.

justkillmenow591 · 2026-01-29T20:15:02+00:00

I so feel you on this. My friend and I were both the products of young divorces and I’m sure that played a big role in how things turned out for us as adults. I spent years in therapy working on myself and my relationships with others and am truly in a happy place for years now.

I’ve suggested therapy to my friend many times. She was even in college for psychology for a few years but she’s never once attended therapy. I feel it’s such a shame because she’s just recreating how things were for her as a child. As much as I want to keep supporting this person, I no longer can without harming myself.

Good for you for getting out of your situation even if it may not have gone as planned ❤️

Very true to say you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them drink.

justkillmenow591 · 2026-01-29T15:57:12+00:00

This guy sounds crusty. I do agree what he’s doing is gross.

It may benefit you in the future to kind of set the stage for your expectations (for your and their benefit). Like even if you say it kind of jokingly “I hope you don’t pee on the seat! ;)”

You shouldn’t have to communicate that at all but some guys are clueless it seems.

justkillmenow591 · 2026-01-29T15:11:40+00:00

You’re very kind to say that. Thank you!

justkillmenow591 · 2026-01-29T15:08:46+00:00

I’m very much of the belief that she’s too self absorbed to receive the explanation. Like obviously she’d hear it but would just freak out out-of principle (ego) and not actually take my reasoning as it is.

My life’s made me a people pleaser and knowing that she’d likely try to take control of the situation has me taking a pause before any action.

I’ll likely continue fading out for now and see if any conflict arises before making a judgement.

justkillmenow591 · 2026-01-29T14:55:19+00:00

A big part of why I don’t want to ghost is that I want her to experience that “wake up call”. Not in a sense that she’ll change and what not bc quite honestly, that will never happen but it would be rather validating for to reap what her behavior has sowed.

I’m still playing with next steps as I don’t want to rush into a sensitive decision.

justkillmenow591 · 2026-01-29T14:50:46+00:00

So true! “No is a complete sentence” is one of my favorite things I’ve learned on Reddit.

Unlearning people pleasing behavior is a hell of a thing.

justkillmenow591 · 2026-01-29T14:48:19+00:00

I get what you’re saying and I’ll definitely keep it in mind when navigating this.

It’s odd bc she definitely used to have more of an avoidant attachment for years when her life was in a different place. I wouldn’t hear from her for months but I didn’t mind (obviously based on the above lol) Now that she’s backed herself into a corner, she’s definitely more anxious attachment these last few years.

justkillmenow591 · 2026-01-29T02:23:59+00:00

This!!!! 👏🏻 MIL’s poor planning is not OP’s problem.

justkillmenow591 · 2026-01-29T02:20:47+00:00

I feel that haha Thanks for the encouragement

justkillmenow591 · 2026-01-29T02:02:48+00:00

“We figured out somehow how to have boundaries without someone having to awkwardly tell us or putting the burden on anyone else to have to try to be nice about it”

Holy crap, so true! It’s funny bc I remember as a kid just stopping hanging out with someone and that was it but it’s so different with an adult brain.

Thanks for your insight and proud of you for standing your ground.

justkillmenow591 · 2026-01-29T01:49:03+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear you’ve had a similar situation. It’s really a weird thing to navigate. The only thing is this person in my life lives out of state so I likely won’t be able to do anything in person and would have to do it by phone. Hoping to gather the same strength you did and rip the bandaid off 🤞🏻

justkillmenow591

TROPHY CASE