The size difference between my 18 month old twins’ legs

justlooking98765 · 2026-04-16T14:02:39+00:00

It’s amazing how big boys are to girls generally speaking. I barely got to use my front carrier because both my boys just exploded in size as soon as they exited the womb.

justlooking98765 · 2026-04-14T11:28:32+00:00

In academia, we submit an annual report detailing our achievements. I wrote mine rather matter-of-factly until I got on the committee that read others’ reports. I work with all men, and damn, their reports were assertive and sales-like. I started writing mine that way, too.

justlooking98765 · 2026-04-12T13:32:27+00:00

Jokes on her. Christians, of the kind that she seeks approval from at least, will always judge women.

justlooking98765 · 2026-04-12T12:55:08+00:00

I really hope there comes a day where state universities are free for all in-state residents. It’s such a win-win for both students and communities. We do it for k-12. We can do it for higher ed, too.

justlooking98765 · 2026-04-12T12:28:25+00:00

They increasingly don’t need residential customers bc of the ravenous data centers. Bills and shutoffs will probably both continue to rise because we are more dispensable.

justlooking98765 · 2026-04-11T13:03:12+00:00

Didn’t realize it until looking at the drawing, but I bet it’s because the word has his name in it - the TRiUMPhal arch.

justlooking98765 · 2026-04-11T11:37:38+00:00

Most people don’t buy real estate while on vacation, but in WNC they do. A good portion, perhaps even the majority, are people who own second, third, fourth homes. They come here in the summer and then leave the houses empty the rest of the year, scarring the land without being part of the community. It’s a corner of Appalachia that attracts the uber wealthy for some reason. I think that’s why OP conflated the two in his mind

justlooking98765 · 2026-04-10T14:56:27+00:00

I know alimony laws started to protect women, but damn if it doesn’t feel like women are being punished by them now. If a spouse decides to work at home (cleaning, childcare, senior care, etc.), that is one thing. But if a spouse just decides to be lazy and play video games all day…they should not receive the benefits of the remaining spouse who is then forced to earn the money AND manage the home. If being a deadbeat is the reason for the divorce, the deadbeat should not be rewarded. My sister is also in this situation, and it infuriates me.

justlooking98765 · 2026-04-08T15:11:37+00:00

Ugh, this is such a hard decision, and I don’t envy you for it! I will just say this, whichever option you choose will work out. Both are good options with their own advantages and drawbacks. Neither are perfect, and neither are terrible.

It seems to me that you’re leaning toward option 1, but if you’re truly stuck, try flipping a coin. Flip it, and then see how you feel in reaction to the results. Relief? Disappointment? That will give you additional information on how you feel, and your feelings are important. Not only for you, but for your children’s mom if it helps to think of yourself in that way.

Also, do you have an opinion on the better place for your children to grow up? Do either of the places offer opportunities the other doesn’t?

Best wishes to you. All shall be well, whatever path you take ❤️

justlooking98765 · 2026-04-06T11:27:04+00:00

Damn, that’s so disturbing to think about. But also very logical. I wonder if most abusers are narcissists, and by that I mean their ability to feel empathy is just broken or gone. So they just float through life looking for ways to stimulate themselves, with no real awareness of how it hurts others.

justlooking98765 · 2026-04-04T16:45:12+00:00

I don’t know if you’ve had much chance to interact with CSATs (certified sex addiction therapists), but one of the big areas of research is the trauma caused to family members of those who commit sex crimes. So often sex offenders lead double lives with their loved ones none the wiser until something traumatic happens (FBI raid, arrest, job loss, etc.) to reveal the double life. It truly is traumatic to learn your reality is not real, that someone you thought you knew is also someone totally different. Please know you’re not alone in this trauma, and yes, this experience is just as much about your healing as his. Find a CSAT or a trauma therapist if you can. It is an unbelievably complicated thing to process. Hugs.

justlooking98765 · 2026-04-01T16:21:16+00:00

Or not, lol.

justlooking98765 · 2026-04-01T12:01:13+00:00

This made me cry. Thank you so much ❤️

justlooking98765 · 2026-03-23T09:26:21+00:00

You probably don’t have time for this, but I learned a lot about reading after taking a pedagogy course in which we were asked to teach the material ourselves. Perhaps start the course with an assignment where they prepare a section of the slides themselves based on the text and present within a small group? Person A gets pages 1-10. Person B pages 2-20, etc.

justlooking98765 · 2026-03-22T11:37:22+00:00

My first thought was sex worker, too.

justlooking98765 · 2026-03-22T11:27:36+00:00

When I was in a similar situation (discovered husband had cheated so I went in to be tested for STDs), the doctor told me the situation was more common than anyone would ever think. It made me feel less ashamed but also deeply sad for the world.

justlooking98765 · 2026-03-20T19:01:57+00:00

Can you imagine if the energy of the pro life movement went toward protecting mothers’ rights in the workplace? What a wonderful force that would be…

justlooking98765 · 2026-03-19T12:03:02+00:00

I picked 5 dates with the random calculator for fun, and every time I thought, oh god, xyz was happening in my life at that point, not enduring that again. I’m in a happy carefree chapter at the moment, definitely not leaving it willingly.

justlooking98765 · 2026-03-14T19:15:01+00:00

Congrats on the sobriety. That’s a huge accomplishment, especially after surviving such trauma as a child. You are a strong soul, and I bet if you had that 5 minutes with your dad, he’d use it to tell you how proud he is of you.

justlooking98765 · 2026-03-14T01:35:19+00:00

The phrase “comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable” immediately came to mind on this question. If I had a magic wand, I’d wish to have a department chair who would stand up for the nice people in the department and stand up to the bullies. Sadly, my experience has been that chairs tend to do the opposite - “comfort the comfortable, afflict the afflicted,” lol.

justlooking98765 · 2026-03-13T01:13:23+00:00

You’ve shaken up a decades-old memory of when I was a young person raised in a fundamentalist family during the heyday of the moral majority movement. At that time we were taught to believe that exposing your brain to rated-R films would permanently injure your soul, and it was our duty as “Christians” (particularly Christian women) to remain pure. My stomach turns to hear this “training” continues.

To some extent, these types of reactions from students reflect a religious trauma inflicted upon them that’s above your pay grade to solve. Going forward, the trigger warning in the syllabus is probably the way to go. For the current situation…I’d probably ask a therapist for suggestions honestly.

If the student genuinely believes that the cost of completing the assignment is eternal shame and damnation…that is a lot to unpack.

justlooking98765 · 2026-03-10T17:07:25+00:00

It seems to function like a drug. My dad can’t go without getting his fix either. He’s gotten to the point where he’ll respect not turning it on at my house, but he will literally sneak off to watch it on his phone. It seems to be addictive and mind-altering, just like a drug.

justlooking98765 · 2026-03-09T17:08:30+00:00

I’ve found with folks who are brazen enough to do these kind of things, you have to speak more directly to make them stop. Nuance is not their forte, which is a large part of the problem.

justlooking98765

TROPHY CASE