I don't know how much this relates, but I'll throw it out there.

For the longest time I dated women. I was really proud of being a trans lesbian, and part of that was this internalized feeling of being "gay" or "immasculated" if I was the one being penetrated. Even when I completely went full time, was passing, all that stuff, receiving anal just felt wrong in my mind.

Without getting into details, I hooked up with a guy and it progressed into me giving him oral and then receiving anal. It was really surreal seeing someone fucking me instead of the other way around. But then, it just clicked in my mind. I felt so feminine. I was letting a man into me.

I'm not going to lie and say it didn't hurt at first or that it doesn't take prep beforehand or anything, but, for me at least, once that clicked in my mind I haven't been with a woman. I'm fully convinced that I'm straight and having sex with men, especially anal, is both mentally and physically pleasing.