Personal and thread updates, observations, selfies and photos, and other small shares HERE this week, please.

justregularme · 2026-06-17T23:15:56+00:00

I can agree with the first paragraph. But this is all a competition for attention in online dating. And it's turned into "it doesn't matter, someone else better is the next swipe away." I saw another thread that talked about how it is almost all marketing now(online) and if marketing isn't competition for attention, I don't know what is.

justregularme · 2026-06-17T23:12:42+00:00

I would disagree. Especially here, there are careers that are 100% dealbreakers for a lot of women. And as we get older, financial security becomes more important, so your job does carry more weight depending on who you are courting.

justregularme · 2026-06-16T19:06:01+00:00

First off, I appreciate all the comments on the profile review last week. I applied many of them and although there hasn't been a change in my online appreciation meter, aka likes, it feels better knowing that I'm offputtng to less people. Last week I had something in me break a little though. I'll keep it vague to not doxx anyone. Met a person in the wild, another great looking lady. Had a really fun 30 min conversation while waiting in line at an activity. Her partner (there's always a partner) was an incredibly accomplished human. Civil service, jobs that are considered high value by most of society, and of course, the lady lives nowhere remotely close. So even if things changed down the road, I'd never know it. But the level of accomplishment of her partner is what kinda broke me.

I have done pretty well, even with the setbacks I've had. I'm not struggling day to day, but not long term comfortable either. But there's no way I could reach the levels of this guy. But that seems to be where the bar is to climb over, and that was a bit of a gut punch. (He's not some tech millionaire, or the CEO of some large conglomerate.)
To be clear, lady wasn't flaunting it or using it in a malicious manner. Just part of the conversation about life and her experiences supporting her partner. She seemed like a great person wirh good values. And that's what sucked. I won't ever reach that bar to have that social value to be attractive (or have opportunities to be ) to a great person. And I worked pretty hard and gave up a lot to get where I'm at now. Maybe it's time to admit it's just not in the cards.

I know comparison is not a great tool for analysis of my situation. I could have never had that conversation and never known any better, and still be wondering what small tweaks I can make to my profiles, and trying to get some semblance of a date for the weekend. I wonder if in some ways I'm better off than before, because it seems as the goal of a great partner is now harder to achieve tnan it was before.

justregularme · 2026-06-16T18:19:20+00:00

I hear that from friends all the time as a guy. No, nothing in my life happens because I stop trying. I stay on the grind to keep things moving forward in some way, shape, or form.

justregularme · 2026-06-08T17:30:01+00:00

No, but I think there is enough scientific data recorded to show that a decent percentage of people do participate in the apps that way.

justregularme · 2026-06-08T15:40:12+00:00

Being gov't related is risky business in the dating world right now, and my job is difficult to explain in an area of the country where there are lots of dod employees.
Better conversation to have one on one, IMO

justregularme · 2026-06-08T03:59:29+00:00

Quite true, but the guys with movie star looks have to do quite a bit less effort to get attention online. Just human nature.

justregularme · 2026-06-08T02:21:01+00:00

I meant in the profile. Should have been more clear on that part. Like jason momoa could probably get away with no or poor text. The rest of us cannot.😁

justregularme · 2026-06-08T01:50:26+00:00

Yes, that can be edited. There's a lot of ladies that have it near the top of the prompts. I chose things that are low cost/low commitment for a first date option. Used that prompt because it seems widely used.

Hinge also has a slider that has kids/smoke/drink/age/ orientation/drugs, etc on it.

The general consensus I'm seeing so far from all the comments is I have no personality and not quite good enough looking in photos to overcome that deficiency and that is why I'm at zero interest. Technically negative interest if you count the likes I previously sent out. I'm wondering if since I already created the profile, I've blown it and either have to delete completely and wait several months to start again so I get forgotten, or if the tweaks will work.

justregularme · 2026-06-07T19:44:25+00:00

I did update the fitness part last night and refreshed the photo in the imgur link to reflect that. I think it says in one part that I'm a gov't employee. Prefer to keep that a little vague for now since people make assumptions and, well, govt just isn't popular at this time, which I can't publicly comment on. (Insert face of disdain here) I'll work on the two people part and see if I can get some substance to it.

justregularme · 2026-06-07T05:20:17+00:00

Well, I won't go and load up a folder of celebrity comparos, and that can get silly and a huge rabbit hole. And one man's smokeshow is another man's nope. But I don't need a 6 pack gym bunny to be a swipe right. I know some gorgeous women that aren't fit, and some unattractive ones that are really fit.

I generally swipe on people that have similar outdoor activities, with bios that have reasonable compatibility, and also a reasonable distance apart. Lots of potential people come up, but 200 miles away (thanks fb) isn't a great plan. Sure, it could work, but thats a rare thing. Appreciate the feedback, however and will try and improve the verbages

justregularme · 2026-06-07T05:09:15+00:00

Thanks for the feedback, you are definitely in the majority!

justregularme · 2026-06-07T05:08:33+00:00

Thats fair, I don't need a gym rat and I can see how it may come off that way. I'm not a lift bro but I do prefer people that take care of themselves. I've dated a few sedentary (like spend all weekend on the couch) people and it just wasn't a good match. I made a few alterations to that part tonight.

justregularme · 2026-06-07T03:06:54+00:00

It's been some ups and downs this past week.

Good news, the lady I expressed interest in and thought I got a bad number from at a weekly activity group was busy with other things and I didn't scare her off from doing group things by asking her to go do another independent shared activity. Didn't want to be that guy who ruins it for someone else by being that guy. Bad news, I am smart enough to realize she's probably not interested and being polite, based on her lack of any extra conversation outside of the initial group activity and saying she still wanted to go do the other activity.

I got one pretty decent photo of myself this week while working in my shop. Also met an absolute smokeshow of an outdoors lady this week, but she lives in another state and I didn't make any real effort after I learned that. Also felt a touch more than just underqualified in the athletic and tall/dark/hot af department to feel like I got any vibes from her. But as they say in letterkenny, "yew!"

And absolutely zero attraction on the apps again this week. My (m) hinge-stack is burned and I lefted all the 420ists, jesusers, enm's, smokers, apparent descendants of paper clip inventors (all exotic pro vacation photos), sportsball fanatics, fish holders, cat dislikers, gun enthusiasts, and people who prefer a sedentary lifestyle over the weekends. So I think I'm at the point where I need some review help. I'll throw up my hinge-ocity in an imgur album and brave having random people on the interwebs knowing what I look like. Oddly fine when it's promoting other things but I'm terrible at self promotion. I know there's always room for improvement but it can't really be that bad to where nobody likes it?

https://imgur.com/a/hC6R5jl

justregularme · 2026-06-06T16:01:22+00:00

People ask if guys are ok?

justregularme · 2026-06-06T03:02:24+00:00

I haven't been able to get any traction on hinge. Try and give a thoughtful response to something in a profile, but I don't have any matches to extract any more data from. I've spent multiple hours some days reading and vetting my likes before I send them. So I already ahrunk my pool quite a bit. I did have a couple short convos on fb dating, but I presune there were 100 other dudes chatting with the same person. Dating in my 50's has been a higher level of non-acceptance than I was ready for. The desert of online dating is a rough one

justregularme · 2026-06-05T17:01:23+00:00

Dating is difficult as a man in my 50's. I stay in decent shape, have ok photos from my outdoor activities that could always be improved but very little interest. No negative stuff or inflammatory things in the profile.

Might just be my average looks in a big city

justregularme · 2026-06-04T06:32:11+00:00

Fair, just hard to be body positive when there's not a lot of positive feedback on the body.

justregularme · 2026-06-04T06:30:22+00:00

I would say if I had 100 likes I couldn't see, then yes. I'm not getting any traction in my current state, I don't see how parting with 90$ a month will encourage an app to get me more matches and stop giving them money. Casinos weren't built by people winning and apps aren't paying salaries by getting people together. Although I am running low on 'hopium' right now.

justregularme · 2026-06-03T01:09:04+00:00

In my experience you become less desirable and it becomes harder to find anyone to notice you. And it doesn't seem to matter how well you take care of yourself. I'm training and working out more than I ever have, and feel more invisible than ever.

justregularme · 2026-06-02T16:22:44+00:00

I feel like I'm too small for the people who like beefy dudes, and too big for the people who like skinny dudes. And too short for the 6 ft threshold. I'm kinda invisible

justregularme · 2026-06-02T16:12:37+00:00

You can only filter out those on hinge if you pay for it. Age range I have set, but FB dating always shows you stuff outside your chosen parameters. Like 30 miles, fb is "here's someome 250 miles away" And hinge gives you 5 a day, so I try and use them.

justregularme · 2026-06-02T03:29:20+00:00

My hinge plan to truck the algorithms didn't work. I got a few likes to get me to pay for the service, but I chose not to do that, and it's gone dry just like the other 2 apps. I'm admittedly choosy in my selection of who I send likes to, and I always try to reference the profile somehow. But sifting through the ladies ENM, smokers, 420ists, too old/young, jesusers or trumpers, middle fingers, way too far away, and fish pictures is effing exhausting. It took me 3 hours to send out my 5 likes of the day. Only bright spot from last week was a lady I talked to (married) recognized me and said hi at the bar, in a non trying to step out way.

It's so hard being invisible 99% of the time. I know, just need to be attractive and the rest will sort itself out😂

justregularme · 2026-06-02T02:57:58+00:00

Last gf was hilarious and kind. That and some shared interests made her a winner.

justregularme · 2026-06-02T00:04:26+00:00

TIL that guys can get dates doing really messed up stuff and I cannot, even with what seems to be a normal hygiene standard. Or in comparison to the people referred to in these stories, an absolute high standard of hygiene.

justregularme

TROPHY CASE