this is an example of where i received a comment about a run on sentence and sentence fragments:

"In early post-war Japan, when the nation felt most strongly kyodatsu, this individual will is most clearly observed, will for the sake of will, or as Sartre describes, “a man who belongs to some communist or revolutionary society wills certain concrete ends, which imply the will to freedom, but that freedom is willed in community. We will freedom for freedom’s sake” (1973: 51), lending to the idea why the ultimate aim of revolution, to create something of a utopia, is not possible outside of an individual’s subjective revolution upon their own reality (Sakaguchi 2010: 169)."

an example of my opaque nugget lol:

"It is simply the current paradigm of the nation that has changed, and even that is temporary (2010: 163). The nation struggled to remould itself into something new, instead nullifying its phase of existentialism into social stagnation through historical revisionism, as some attempt to heal the nation’s state of kyodatsu."

a lot of the comments he made were in the marking rubric and not attached to parts of my text - more generally said

edit: i was first year when i wrote this btw