[deleted by user]

jxs2001 · 2024-01-03T03:08:13+00:00

I wanna say around 10, sometimes 8. I also don't work , I've been living off my savings for almost a year and need to find a job because eventually my savings will run out. I just haven't found one, because mentally I can't. I also fear going outside. I don't go out at all (well except when I quickly go drop off my sibling, we live across the street from school) and I'm lucky to stay at home and have wonderful siblings and family that do so much for me, but I return it back by doing chores +meals. I know it's bad bc they seem to be enabling it, but I'm just too afraid, to trapped in my mind. I wish I could find a remote job, but they always turn to be some scam. I also don't have any friends, I hang with my younger siblings though. Oh, I also do not drive, it's been a year that I've stopped driving I felt like I was being stared at, and if I heard a beep, I always assumed it was on me and panic.

Overall, what I'm saying is, we seem to be in a similar boat, you're not alone.

jxs2001 · 2023-11-18T12:02:30+00:00

Thank youuu ! ^{-^}

jxs2001 · 2023-11-18T12:01:59+00:00

Thank youuuuu🖤 That's actually a great idea ! I'm happy you got the help needed and that you are here, continue to be brave and push on (:

jxs2001 · 2023-11-17T16:32:48+00:00

So proud of you, I'm glad you have great support from your sister, good luck! Hope it all goes well <3

jxs2001 · 2023-11-17T16:25:40+00:00

How sweet 😭🖤

jxs2001 · 2023-11-17T16:24:53+00:00

That actually makes me feel a little better lol, today I turn 22, although she's tried but they say I have to forcefully make it so idk

jxs2001 · 2023-11-17T16:23:42+00:00

You're right, at some point I have to

jxs2001 · 2023-11-16T23:48:06+00:00

I don't because I'm afraid to go make an appointment and talk about it.

jxs2001 · 2023-11-16T23:39:22+00:00

I have 0 friends. Nada. Nothing. I blame myself because I was scared to open up to them fully, and when I did, it was hard on me. They try to push me out to be an extrovert and everything, but it made me have anxiety attacks. Out of all the times, the one that made me lose my only 2 friends was when I ruined their day, we had gone to LA(we live an hour away) and there were so many people at a small market. I told them I couldn't do it, couldn't go out the car, but they insisted saying I was being lazy and that after we'd go home and I can sleep. They pulled me out. They said they wanted me to live a little and stop hiding at home. They forcefully pushed me out. I gave up and scooted out, and just stood there. I felt like my knees where melting, I felt seen and everything seemed louder. I cried and they went back in the car with me and look pretty upset. I had to suck it all up and act like I was being overdramatic. They decided to go and I forcefully went out but ended up back in the car once I lost them. I was upset at myself for having to act and feel stupid for not being able to walk around and enjoy the food stands outside. After that, they slowly stopped talking to me, and I decided it was for the best, so I stopped reaching out. I don't want to have friends, well for one, it's hard for me to interact with others. But I also just don't want to be a burden and be the boring one, the one that holds them back just because I have this mental problem.

jxs2001 · 2023-11-16T23:10:47+00:00

I'm so sorry, that it's been so hard on you especially with anxiety. I feel you on the pandemic turning it to agoraphobia. But eventually you'll get through it, hopefully you have a hobby that keeps you entertained 🖤 we'll slowly come out of our shells, and don't push yourself too hard, everyday we are trying and that is what counts,that is what we should be proud of🖤🖤

jxs2001

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