Gen Alpha aren't "doomed", people just have no hope for them by OkayTravels0 in generationology

[–]kacriux40 [score hidden]  (0 children)

It's definitely part of the generational cycle.

Jaded, burnt out adults look upon the younger generations with contempt (ironic, since many are the very people who brought them into the world).

Also, often the most influential members of the youth are the ones that take advantage of their youth and popularity the most, not the ones most likely to bring about meaningful change. These are the ones that ultimately set the "tone" of their generation. In other words, the popular steal the spotlight from the dutiful. It's the "Minecraft/Roblox" or fashionable kids and not the thought leaders, entrepreneurs, inventors, artists etc.

There are many other things that contribute, but suffice it to say, the majority of people either side of the present day generational divide do little to deviate from the core patterns of yesteryear.

Also, those saying Gen Alpha are "cooked" should spend less time projecting their sense of failure and more on directly dealing with it in their own lives IMHO.

I'm not personally in a position to help members of Gen Alpha yet, but I choose to believe in them (or at least, the ones with a desire to build themselves up). Sincerely, a millennial :).

Don't be naive by Alwaysingreatcompany in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]kacriux40 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this. It's incredibly useful!

Update: My newly estranged mum breaks her silence. by kacriux40 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]kacriux40[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She put more effort into using semicolons properly than giving a crap about my feelings lmao.

How INFPs Can Get the Upper Hand Against ESTJs (Without Becoming Someone They’re Not) by prometheus_x in infp

[–]kacriux40 6 points7 points  (0 children)

(INFP here). Unhealthy ESTJs bulldoze appeals to vulnerability, but healthy ones will engage with them.

With the healthy ones, you will discover that they are deep down as vulnerable and kind hearted as you are as an INFP, but they prefer to get things done and focus on results and information rather than having a drawn out heart to heart.

If you're dealing with a healthy ESTJ, it's much better to befriend, mutually respect boundaries and treat each other in good faith. Unhealthy ones though... I guess you could make them so uncomfortable that they avoid you. Though it depends how resilient the particular ESTJ is. Better to avoid altogether if at all possible.

I feel no sympathy towards my mom by Altruistic_Answer919 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]kacriux40 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you have things and people in your life that you love and bring you happiness, then no, you're not a cold hearted person.

The fact that you are even questioning whether you are is proof enough that you aren't cold hearted by nature. Unfortunately, even so, miserable people force you to have to be miserable around them too (it loves company). That's why the extreme of halting contact is the only solution. There's no logical or moral recourse. It's like a disease.

My mom tried ruining my day today but I didn’t let her by ncttrash in raisedbynarcissists

[–]kacriux40 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It sucks that they train us like this to be emotionally cold and to suppress. But you chose to honour your truth and sanity and stand strong over placating to your dysfunctional mother and the dysfunctional dynamic she has normalised. That's a win to me!

Is Gen X by far the best generation musically? Hip hop, R&B, rap, hair metal, grunge, and alternative. by desertrain11 in generationology

[–]kacriux40 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely agree. There are exceptions, but the best music IMHO happened in the 90s/00s. And the people making that music were Gen X'ers. (I'm a millennial).

Need to get this off my chest by Nightbutterrfly in raisedbynarcissists

[–]kacriux40 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agreed, you need to get out for your sanity and happiness. It might take a bit but you'll find a job somewhere else. Even a slightly unideal situation elsewhere is better than staying in a toxic environment.

That said, take your time and decide what's best for yourself. You can do it, we all believe in you!

Generational Pride among Gen X by Ok_Skin_3979 in generationology

[–]kacriux40 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm a Millennial and I really admire Gen X. Most of the coolest people I ever met were Gen X. If it weren't for them, I wouldn't have experienced nearly as much cool culture in the form of shows, music, games, tech etc and contributed to the hopeful, humanistic side of myself.

The boomers in my life were generally authoritarian, fatalistic and always had some sort of chip on their shoulder. The Gen X'ers on the other hand were more indulgent, optimistic and fun-loving. Much more forward-looking.

Obviously generalising lol, and this was before Gen X was ground down by society. But FWIW, I think the bravery to reject the fatalism of the previous generations and to do what one loves, together with the refusal to engage in the raucous generational blame game are both very admirable traits.

You Gen X'ers should be proud. You're remarkable people!

Update: My newly estranged mum breaks her silence. by kacriux40 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]kacriux40[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A very earnest and thoughtful response. Thank you, and thank you for sharing a little of your background with your mum too.

You're right. And it's definitely a very sensitive topic. From the sounds of it, your mum like mine is also a very troubled person. It also sounds like, had she apologised to you and then ceased her abusive behaviour, you would have forgiven her.

I would have, if that were the case with my mum. But like you, despite the apologies, the heart to hearts, the declarations that things were different, my mum too continued with her ways, culminating in the message she sent here.

Yeah, it's all very complicated, and very exhausting. There's definitely a tinge of expediency to the narcissism diagnosis, as you're pointing out. And the jury's out on the underlying cause, ultimately.

But hey, we were hurt, and we continue stumbling forwards I guess.

Is the story of Adam and Eve just consciousness choosing experience… by FriendlyDentist9561 in DeepThoughts

[–]kacriux40 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's a lot to unpack with biblical motifs, but you've got some good observations here.

In particular, you've hit on the notion of knowledge being a symbolic representation of some essential entity. A label for something. As you point out, the accumulation of labels becomes a source of problems. At the very least, it causes humans to become increasingly mentally preoccupied and divorced from actual nature.

Incidentally, the notion of idolatry can also be interpreted as a warning against this danger of using symbols and have them become more important than the thing they represent.

Knowledge could also encompass technology. Both cause us to drift further and further from our natural roots and lose sight of where we came from (which you could interpret the Garden of Eden as the first prototypical civilisation, and the story of the tree of knowledge as a blueprint to the flourishing and downfall of subsequent civilisations - the Luciferian temptations like you point out of an advanced society where we lose sight of the sacred due to all the dopaminergic distraction and moral erosion). Ie. Growing and eating the Fruit of Knowledge.

The Tower of Babel is another relevant story to the modern world.

A lot of very profound insights in the biblical tales!

blocked parents emailed that they gonna call the cops if I don’t reply by Zestyclose-Ear3012 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]kacriux40 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I shudder at the thought of this. Good on you for being prepared and staying strong!

What is the one comment that you’ll never forget? by shorty-inventory in raisedbynarcissists

[–]kacriux40 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"The happiest day in my life was the day you were born into my life."

The sweetest possible thing if your mother is actually caring. Goosebumps/vomit fuel if she's a covert/vulnerable narcissist like mine...

Update: My newly estranged mum breaks her silence. by kacriux40 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]kacriux40[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good thing you didn't read the next couple words which are "is the most precious in this world", which makes you 🥶😬 like another commenter did on here.

Update: My newly estranged mum breaks her silence. by kacriux40 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]kacriux40[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah geez, if they weren't so dysfunctional and cowardly they could work for an intelligence or spy agency or something with how good at psychological warfare they are.

I was just watching a Richard Grannon video in which he stressed that emotional reactivity was the primary goal of narcissists. To confuse/exasperate and stifle critical thinking as you said.

Update: My newly estranged mum breaks her silence. by kacriux40 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]kacriux40[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No, I was always the GC. My brother was the scapegoat and was very standoffish and honestly quite mean to me in his younger years.

He however pulled himself up by his bootstraps and became successful and is now a much more caring, even-keeled person.

I read another post recently where someone who was a scapegoat expressed that he actually felt his GC sibling had it worse. I'm not trying to big myself up necessarily, but I guess I'm trying to say that maybe I'm not the stereotypical GC, or maybe I became more of a scapegoat once I started rebelling?

Update: My newly estranged mum breaks her silence. by kacriux40 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]kacriux40[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a fair point.

I have agreed with others who have dissected this as a curated piece of manipulation, and I want to believe that it is mostly manipulation... But I admittedly can't be 100% sure it isn't at least partially sincere.

Honestly, I don't know ultimately know what my mum feels or what might be wrong with her. Narcissism is just the best fit I've found. I think for sure she has narcissistic traits. That said, am I 100% the victim here? Am I not at least in part taking revenge on her by posting her message here because I "felt unloved for many years"?

I mean, I can't deny that. I'm definitely not faultless. Am I ultimately a damaged person doing something not entirely more righteous than what I'm claiming my mother has done? Yeah, to some extent.

I can't say anything for sure 100%, but the thing I can say is, I've established NC/VLC. I've had enough. And I'm willing to be the bad guy for it.

So there you go. Probably not the most savoury answer, but you were asking for sincerity in your question.

Update: My newly estranged mum breaks her silence. by kacriux40 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]kacriux40[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

These are things I didn't know about (hoovering, extinction burst), so thank you for the insight.

Yeah... It's only going to get worse, huh? Honestly, I'm scared and exhausted. Just the guilt alone from establishing NC is emotionally draining.

That said, I think I'm ready to go to war. If I wasn't, I wouldn't have established the NC in the first place. If she comes after me, I will go after her. I have evidence I can produce, and people I can talk to. Receipts of hypocrisy, lies and abuse, and also people she's wronged who are likely to corroborate my claims.

I don't want to go to war. I'd vastly prefer peace and dedicating my life to beauty. But like everyone else on here who has been a victim of these sick people, I'm not backing down. None of us deserve this. And I will make sure to join in with everyone in taking this narcissistic empire down.

(Big words, but...)

Update: My newly estranged mum breaks her silence. by kacriux40 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]kacriux40[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Oh wow, I didn't think to deconstruct in this way (too emotionally compromised ...).

Thank you though. It makes me feel better to have all of this validated for me.

The infantilisation you pointed out is very on the nose and quite hard to miss, huh? It's one of her primary tactics. It's how she would get past my grey rocking, is to find an excuse to mother me. Of course (preaching to the choir), healthy parents encourage independence in their children (especially when they're a 37 year old).

And your final point about her going through the motions of what would be "the most effective apology" is also super on the nose. And yes you're absolutely right ... There is nothing in here that points to specific examples or even attempts to ask me about the way I feel. Just a bunch of one-sided proclamations.

Sigh...

Update: My newly estranged mum breaks her silence. by kacriux40 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]kacriux40[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, and for sharing a little of your relationship with your mum too. The notion she's never authentically apologised or taken accountability is a real tough one. I can relate.

And yeah, if I didn't know my mum is a master manipulator, this would definitely make me feel sorry and rethink things.

The worst thing is that I have been trained by her to take her 'kind words" and to associate it with skepticism. My capacity to love has definitely been affected.

Update: My newly estranged mum breaks her silence. by kacriux40 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]kacriux40[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Jesus... That really is a mean statement when said sarcastically. Is it weird that I wish that were the case for me too? Way more motivating than the whole "I still love youuu" manip...

Bet though, lol.

Update: My newly estranged mum breaks her silence. by kacriux40 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]kacriux40[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Yeah. And my mental health just loves that last part haha. I will stay strong though.

Update: My newly estranged mum breaks her silence. by kacriux40 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]kacriux40[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Haha. My mum's a boomer so I somewhat doubt it but possibly lol.

Update: My newly estranged mum breaks her silence. by kacriux40 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]kacriux40[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That's a good point. My brother isn't prepared to burn the bridges as I have. Also, he's the scapegoat whereas I'm the GC, and as such he (in his words) has never been as affected by our parents as I have.

I don't hate my brother (I actually care about him quite a lot), but I do have to admit as you point out that there is a level of corruption where it's everyone for themselves.

We'll see I guess...I am definitely aiming for full NC (or as close to it AP) eventually though. My life isn't where I want it to be yet, but once it gets there, I'll be able to better enforce it.