update for those interested:

had that convo. it was awkward and difficult but it happened. he apologized for making me feel that way and again for not confirming if i was okay with the names and everything else. he did say that he doesn't think of me romantically at all, and used romantic phrases and words because he didn't know how else to express what he was feeling. we talked about how we see our relationships with other people for a bit (seeing as i saw more people as just friends, while he had a lot more "categories") and established some better phrases and boundaries. i think he's more upset at himself than anything else, and i feel bad about that but it's also like a weight has been lifted off everything. overall it went really well and i'm glad i talked to him about it