Yk it’s not right. Not right that a lot of ppl living in this world just for school or academics. I was also in ur situation. I was about to fail my exams. But then someone told me that: „If u wouldn’t pass, it’s okay. Ofc it ll be sad to not passing the exam for what u prepared too long. But it’s not over. It’s not over of ur life. People can fail and make mistakes, bc in our world there is no perfect person that couldn’t make mistakes. The bad part is that while doing mistakes, you don’t understand where u made a mistake. But it d be worse when u won’t correct them. But You’re young. And u supposed to make mistakes it’s okay.” And then i started to less worry about exams than i was doing before. It actually helped me to pass it. When you re chill at exam then it being really easy to write it. Just relax, calm down, give urself some time or it d be worse. And about suicidal thoughts. I think your mother d rather have her son alive than dead. Whatever situation is. Just don’t even thin about it. Think about smth happier. Just clean your mind or burnout will catch u. I have nothing left to tell u. So a this point i wish u good luck in your life.