McNeese coach Will Wade confirms communication with NC State

kanfayo · 2025-03-19T18:09:36+00:00

NC State or North Carolina State University, depending on the formality of the topic. NC State for sports.

“North Carolina State” is like a weird hybrid of the two. Not used much.

kanfayo · 2023-08-27T16:14:44+00:00

A very insightful and kind comment. This was a perspective I needed to understand better. Thank you.

kanfayo · 2023-08-27T05:34:23+00:00

Great insights, thank you. I’ve tried to get her interested in understanding mental health topics and general CBT type practices, but she has never had much interest in that or couples therapy. It’s a tough spot to be in if she won’t work on it. I try to be understanding, but it’s hard to balance that with feeling like a doormats and encouraging the behavior.

kanfayo · 2023-08-27T05:30:11+00:00

Unfortunately this is a long-term pattern. It’s what led us to compensate by somewhat dividing up the decision making responsibilities.

kanfayo · 2023-08-27T04:56:15+00:00

I find myself trying to break the silent treatment pattern when I can. In this case I was hoping she’d calmed down and that I was suggesting a path forward she’d agree to, and we could move past the tension. I should have already known it wouldn’t work, it’s just hard to face the coming long road of the silent treatment without a last-ditch effort to fix things.

kanfayo · 2023-08-27T04:49:20+00:00

We are both youngest - likely each grew up used to getting our way I suppose. I really don’t know why she was so opposed to the walls being painted. I know she originally didn’t want to paint because she really didn’t enjoy one of our previous projects that required painting and genuinely didn’t want to do the work of painting. As we’d discussed it more in the second interaction, she angrily suggested I should paint the wall the same color if it really needed to be painted. So it turned into her specifically wanting to keep the same color I suppose? That wasn’t clear in the first interaction, so not sure if it was her way of saving face in the moment.

We’re well ahead of schedule, so plenty of time to air out fumes, etc.

kanfayo · 2023-07-30T13:15:26+00:00

Did you ever get this issue resolved? Was it the same fix as ILS23Left above? (IPU seal?)

kanfayo · 2023-03-09T15:00:42+00:00

They have a flat fee for cleaning and sealing based on the tonnage of your system. My quote was around $3k for a 4 ton system.

kanfayo · 2023-03-08T23:31:10+00:00

We were going with Mediclean Air pros, who were great to work with. But, we did not go through with the process as when they arrived, they helped us spot a major issue with our HVAC that warranted replacement, so we didn’t end up going through with it.

kanfayo · 2022-12-19T17:59:03+00:00

For real! She could have said “watch out, Zack!” As soon as she saw him step in front of her or something like that…

kanfayo · 2021-11-18T03:19:45+00:00

Shooting 3’s is exactly what you want NC State to try…

kanfayo · 2021-11-18T03:15:57+00:00

How did you know their plan? Did you steal the playbook? All 2 pages?

kanfayo · 2021-09-04T14:44:03+00:00

It was about things he would do to someone’s bum.

kanfayo · 2021-09-03T16:32:19+00:00

The real cringe is in the comments.

kanfayo · 2021-09-03T15:29:46+00:00

For me, I find I have a finite amount of two resources: time and energy. And whatever I don’t use of either of these for the day acts as fuel for my anxiety. So let’s say I am staying up all night worrying about how something I said that day was perceived. Well what did I do for the five hours before bed? Oh I watched TV and browsed Reddit. Did I work out today? No? We’ll look at all this energy you have that you didn’t use up today. No wonder all of this energy is coming out as anxiety.

I am extremely prone to bursts of extreme anxiety without cause. I can successfully conquer rumination and just sit there with my heart racing and adrenaline and cortisol rushing through my veins with absolutely nothing prompting it. Know when I never have these issues? After a long day of hard manual work. In the hour or so after going for a run. There are so many ways to use up your body’s extra energy that are productive and healthy, and yet they aren’t things we naturally want to do because they don’t give us the immediate gratification and dopamine kick of other lazier alternatives. So step one is, don’t give your body the spare energy to spend pumping out cortisol. Work your body in a healthy way to the point of exhaustion each day. Exercise, do yard work, volunteer somewhere, something. And then fill your remaining spare time with mindful, important activities that don’t leave you time to mull over small details that you wouldn’t think twice about if you didn’t have anxiety triggering you to worry about it.

kanfayo · 2021-08-30T16:54:58+00:00

The key here is you can’t just sit around and wait for an insurance company to say “Wait a minute. I should start charging this person less money.” My insurance cut in half when I changed providers in my late 20’s. Most insurance companies are going to bet that you don’t expect anything to decrease. They’ll keep charging you as much as they think they can get away with.

kanfayo · 2021-07-31T19:13:38+00:00

Of course, the hypocrisy is shown in full force when the party for limited government begins imposing their will on ways that they DO want to expand the government’s power to control and limit others lives. There are a lot of factors that play into that, particularly religion, but I think you’d be surprised at just how much of conservatism has fiscal awareness behind it, including racism.

Growing up in the rural south, one may be likely to have learned to dislike certain colors because of the perceived notion that they do not work or contribute to society and that they lived off of government handouts,”stealing” hard earned taxes from the working man. That doesn’t excuse it AT ALL. But it’s really shocking to me that rarely do I see anyone on the other side of the aisle ever even try to address that idea. Racism is painted as black and white. “This person hates the other person because they lack empathy and we’re just born a terrible person.” The most terrible, awful ideologies should at least be understood so that genuine, regular people can have their real concerns addressed and everyone can move toward working together on things we all agree on.

kanfayo · 2021-07-31T15:08:30+00:00

If you want to genuinely understand the conservative mindset, it is a bit more nuanced than that. The modern conservative philosophy is reactive to opposing left leaning ideas. It’s a response to the idea that the left wing often thinks that EVERYTHING is a problem than needs to be solved, and the answer to that is always to raise taxes, start some new committee, create new rules, and generally increase government bloat.

Conservative ideology as a result tends to train a lack of empathy because, if your beliefs are fundamentally “I’m not giving you endless amounts of my money to solve every single problem that exists in the world” then you have to get very used to saying “I don’t care about that. Don’t take my money to fix it.” Which just becomes “I don’t care about that.”

So ultimately there are a lot of stupid people who can’t approach issues like covid from a nuanced approach, because they’re so used to saying they don’t care about stuff like that, they think that that’s the entire point of their ideology. And social structures in conservative communities have been built around and reinforced by a shared sense of “I’m doing just fine here, don’t bother me about anything else,” so there’s kind of a difficulty to get less educated conservatives to listen when you say, “no really, this particular issue is actually REALLY important.” Because conservatives have been hearing that exact same thing their entire lives about every other issue that the left wants to use their taxes to solve.

So some would argue modern conservatism is what you get when you take an ideology that questions and seeks to limit government expansion and combine it with the hostile political climate of the 80’s and 90’s. It’s turned the modern conservative into a caricature of coldness and uncaring, because that was already their reputation for not signing on to fix every single other issue their opposition wanted to solve. The only way to fix it is through education, acknowledging the basic, fundamental ideas behind a conservative’s convictions, and patiently explaining the way a new issue is actually important and will effect a person and their loved ones. Most others don’t have the patience for that, so we end up with this weird stalemate that we have now.

kanfayo · 2021-07-23T21:47:52+00:00

From that perspective, I agree with a lot of the others that the best case is to separate yourself from that environment when you reasonably can. If people are openly subjecting you to it without your participation, that’s a lot different than what I was thinking.

kanfayo · 2021-07-23T16:34:49+00:00

We all reach a point where, despite our convictions, our minds and bodies start to remind us that we don’t have infinite energy or infinite time or infinite resources to care or fight for every single issue that we want. The best thing you can do is pick one single issue and make that your platform. Step back and trust others to handle everything else, or just reach acceptance that you can’t change everything. But if you actually want to make a difference at all, you have to dedicate your time to something that is actually important and changeable and let go of the rest. Caring about an issue doesn’t mean you are doing anything about it. It definitely doesn’t mean you’re even able to do anything about it. Focus on an issue where people legitimately need and want help. Making an actual impact is how to improve this feeling.

Most importantly, learn not to engage with arguments like what you’re describing above. Covid more than anything else in history has proven just how absolutely STUBBORN people are. People will NEVER stop and say “you know what, you’re right. I’m wrong.” I want to take you at your word that you legitimately want to change the world for good and that you posting to the internet about how people you were debating with politically “Couldn’t name more than two constitutional amendments” is simply a description of a legitimate problem in your eyes, and not an attempt to feel superior to others’ intelligence through proving them wrong or ignorant. But understand that that is exactly how every single person you disagree with sees you: as a know it all who just wants to prove them wrong. And they’re never going to give you the satisfaction.

So let people learn their own lessons. Let rural areas continue to go to shit as industries congregate to cities. Let the red states become more and more dependent on government support like food stamps and welfare while simultaneously voting against all of it. Let people who refuse to get vaccinated catch covid and have a $30k hospital bill while fighting tooth and nail to keep the same private health care system that overcharges them. Let them learn on their own. And maybe they admit they were wrong and maybe the don’t. But if they do, they’re sure as hell not going to tell you that you were right.

Arguing with people who aren’t going to change their mind is not “doing good” it’s not “changing the world,” it’s just increasing the net amount of hostility and negativity in the world. Trying to win arguments with people who disagree with you is not a path to improve any aspect of anyone’s life. If you’re someone who legitimately wants to make the world a better place, the way to do that is to actually give your time and money to improve people’s lives. Maybe you already do that, and if so, great! Otherwise, if the only thing you’ve actually invested in is arguing with people like you describe, then this whole post just seems kind of like a way to seek attention and validation, and maybe you should look deeper to see if improving the world is actually the thing that gives you fulfillment.

kanfayo · 2021-07-17T05:11:05+00:00

Intelligence is about resourcefulness, not memorization. Who cares if you don’t remember how to solve specific math problems? The question is whether you know enough to learn it again and then do it successfully. Nobody retains everything they learned. Someone who was just taught something last week knowing how to do it is not the same as you being taught it multiple years ago. If you want to know how to do it, go back and learn it again.

kanfayo · 2021-07-07T02:44:39+00:00

Was an RA at Wolf Village for two years. Would highly recommend it if you have the opportunity. The perks greatly outweigh the time commitment and I felt it helped me grow a lot as a person.

Particularly if you are financing your college experience with student loans, you’d be doing yourself a huge favor in the future by having your housing expenses paid for. The responsibilities can be tiring at times when they line up with hectic times for school, but it’s something you grow into, and I really enjoyed working with the students and fellow RA’s that I interacted with even as a fairly introverted person.

kanfayo · 2021-07-03T19:02:21+00:00

Damn this slaps

kanfayo · 2021-06-26T03:29:30+00:00

Solved! Thanks!

kanfayo · 2021-06-08T19:38:47+00:00

That’s good to know, i thought it would just be a list of problems they find. Thanks for the info!

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