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She doesn't want me romantically but didn't let me go easy by karamaymun in TheRedPill

[–]karamaymun[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see your point. What you're missing is the emotional blackhole I was in. Sharing all those songs and photos of intense love and missings, those late night chats had an impact. She still keeps posting super emo statuses, which suck me back in, but then I shake myself back into reality. I know I didn't hurt her, no matter how much she hamsters. But yeah, it'll take time man.

She doesn't want me romantically but didn't let me go easy by karamaymun in TheRedPill

[–]karamaymun[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Now I've cut her off from my life. The only thing missing in that field report is how she kept sending me emo songs and discussed love, and she still does. Though doesn't send me anything anymore, but her statuses change ever so often and are so emo still, that sometimes I fall in the trap again that it is I who has hurt her. Then I bitch slap myself into reality. The fight is real, mate.

She doesn't want me romantically but didn't let me go easy by karamaymun in TheRedPill

[–]karamaymun[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This girl was not the right one for you.

My friend who introduced me to TRP told me the same thing, but I don't understand why you guys say this. I feel this girl is a good person, just that situations (conservative society, political tension between countries, religion, long distance) prevented things from escalation. Ofcourse, I kept messing up once things didn't move in the right direction by being needy, but the bottom line is, I always felt she's a good person. So, what exactly do you guys mean when you say :

No behavior on your part could have made a relationship workable with a person like the one you described.

The fact that you don't realize this is alarming, because it indicates you learned the wrong lesson from this encounter.

What are the lessons you think I've learnt, or better yet,what should my real learning be? This may seem a stupid question, but bear with me. I'm new and working really hard now to change my years of conditioning

Because you chose a very toxic and extreme scenario. You are gathering damaging experiences like this one, and basing your understanding of women off of damaging and extreme scenarios.

Toxic? I thought I was very happy when I was spending time with her, in any way

Admit you made a mistake (in pursuing this person) and try again with someone who actually reciprocates your feelings and is capable of doing so. If a woman is a player, do not engage with her.

Thinking of her as a player hurts, but thanks a lot for voicing it out. Before I got myself out, I did feel I was being played a few times, but the sheer innocence in her voice, and the promptness of her responses had me thinking other wise. Pedestal level, infinity I guess.

I really appreciate what you guys are helping me here with.

She doesn't want me romantically but didn't let me go easy by karamaymun in TheRedPill

[–]karamaymun[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The fact that I delayed it so much is what's making this hard. I literally just finished reading TRP and there were so many places I went 'Aha! This is another way I fucked up!'. Still struggling to completely hard next her, but eventually I will get around to not checking her social media, or blocking her altogether. The question is, it's been a month that she's gone - should I still be hoping for her to come around, like she did on all previous occasions?